I don't see it as racism. It's just sexual preference. As a gay man I don't find myself attracted to women, for example. But just because I'm gay doesn't mean I am attracted to EVERY MAN ON THIS PLANET either. :P

Some like Asians, some like black people, some like caucasian people, some like men, some like women, some like kids, some like trees, some like animals... Sexual attraction and preference is not something you can choose or change, it just is. But it is not racism.

Is it the physical feature of darker skin that's not as appealing to you in terms of preference as opposed to tanned skin or lighter skin? Or is there some presumed cultural or stereotypical off switch that clicks in your brain when you see a woman with darker skin?

We all have preferences, as JR said. I guess that I'd ask how far that preference goes... Would you refuse to date a gorgeous woman with a great personality because of this preference? Or would talking to them first and really hitting it off before meeting them and realizing that they're black be a letdown?

If you'd say yes to either of those, you might want to ask yourself why. Because that stuff, to me, would at least make me question why a preference like skin color would be THAT strong as to supersede your preferred beauty and personality traits.

Something that cemented as a piller preference at least sounds like it might come from a place that cares in a different way than "I like blonde hair more than red hair" and might be worth exploring further.

People end up calling me racist(?) because I don't find most african american women attractive as well. They find it odd that an african american male doesn't like black females. I personally don't find it odd. The ONLY exception I have is this...

I'm ok with this



Not with this



HUGE difference.

I found the "gorgeous" line quite interesting, as it makes me I realize what I wrote could be taken in an entirely different direction than I intended. Coloration means absolutely nothing to me; very dark to very light, that never changes anything.

What I think I find attractive is caucasoid bone structure- in particular the nasal and jaw structure.

I think generalizing sexual preference is a slippery slope and like some have said, requires some serious self reflection in what you really mean by comments like "I'm not attracted to (insert generalization here)."
Also I wouldn't equate "not seeing biracial couples in my area" to "people of different ethnicities aren't sexually attracted to one another." There are a myriad of sociological, geographical, and cultural factors that influence something like a biracial couple. Honestly, if your sociology/anthropology classes haven't talked about micro and macro cultural influences well... then... they goddam well should be.

I don't think it's that big a deal to not find other races attractive. Now, if you took it a step further and started making generalizations as your reasons, then it's racist.

Well, humans are going to generalize- we like grouping things together. Race itself is actually just a massive generalization, as it would be easier to group human beings by height or shoe-size than it would be to accurately group them by color, simply due to the plethora of different shades humans come in. I understand that generalizations are troublesome, but mind you I made this remark in a casual conversation, not an academic setting. And that the the generalization was about my own preferences- I think my exact words were something along the lines of - I generally don't find black women attractive. Which, itself shows the flaws in generalities because I would sell a kidney for a date with Freema Agyeman.

As for the second part of my post it wasn't my intention to equate the perceived lack of biracial couples solely to biological physical attraction. Attraction itself, is, as you said, shaped by the individual's culture. I grew up in a town that wasn't very diverse but I often saw combinations of Natives, Hispanics, Europeans, and Filipinos. So, when coming to a place of such great diversity, to see so few biracial couples was sort of peculiar to me. So, I suppose in refining my earlier questions- Am I seeing attraction relative to this areas culture? Am I seeing cognitive and deliberate rejection of attraction based solely on prejudice (akin to what Baraka407 wrote) or fear of such prejudice? Am I seeing an underlying cultural prejudice that was ingrained into the individual that they are unaware of? Am I seeing all of this? Or none of it at all?

Finally, post Marx, Weber, and Durkheim my knowledge of sociology is admittedly thin. After the split of the two fields historically, my interest lied with Anthropology. Beyond that, my forte is Archaeology rather than Cultural Anthropology.


Also, this all reminds me of a joke my professor told me.

An Anthropologist and a Sociologist are going to parachute into a remote village in the Andes that has never been studied. The plane reaches the drop zone and the Anthropologist jumps out, but the Sociologist just looks down at the village below. The pilot tells him he's missed his opportunity, so the Sociologist asks for another go around. The pilot obliges, and when the reach the drop zone the Sociologist just looks down and doesn't jump. The pilot tells him again that he's missed the zone, and he'll only have one more chance- as there's only enough fuel for one more go around and the trip back. So, the plane once again reaches the drop zone and the Sociologist once again just stares at the village down below. Frustrated, the pilot tells him that they'll have to refuel and return, and the Sociologist says "Oh, it's OK. I've seen enough."

I feel like there's more to this than is typically acknowledged.

I mean, it would obviously be untrue, and racist, to say something like "all black people have wide noses" or "All Asian chicks have small breasts" Or "All Latin women have big asses", et cetera...but it is true that some physical characteristics are more common among certain races, not just the color of the skin.

And obviously, when it comes to what facial features we define as beautiful, everyone's tastes are different, and even to the same person, a wide variety of different eye or lip or cheekbone shapes can be pleasing to look at. But some features are just not considered conventionally attractive. How many people do you know who like a chick with a big mannish jaw? Or no jaw at all, they like a chin that sinks into the neck? How many folks do you know who like big, bushy eyebrows on a lady? Those are fairly race-neutral examples, but you can extrapolate from there.

I'm on my phone so I'll have to be brief but:

@coltess - The obvious answer is that your anecdotal subjective opinion based on your experience at your school isn't indicative of much of anything. I think you already know that though. Generalizations while convenient, are ripe grounds for discrimination, bias, and prejudice. All of which can be quite dangerous when used without understanding the inaccuracies and fallacies innate to such generalizations. Moreover, you have already answered your own question by acknowledging that you find a black woman attractive.

@Razor - A valid observation. As I recall learning at some point that humans cross culturally view facial symmetry as "physically attractive" or "pretty" because it's indicative of a healthy mate and the chance for healthy offspring. Like I said, sexuality and attraction in terms of personal preference is a very convoluted subject.

Also to answer your question OP, yes it's discriminatory to take the stance that "I must not be attracted to black people because I'm not attracted to all black people."

I'm attracted to Latin women; I'm attracted to white men.

There's nothing racist about either of the two. It's all about perception. People have different reactions to what they see. One person may see Roselyn Sanchez and think "Ugh, she's ugly." I look at her and think, "One day she will be mine." lol

When it comes to being bisexual, all I can say is that my orientation goes as far as the name suggests. I can't speak for everyone, though I can say we're all different. For me, it's Latin women and sometimes Asian women, and white men and sometimes Latin men.

And then there's Maude.

Fair enough. I just think that while certain features are more common in certain ethnicities, it's important to remember that common certainly doesn't mean all.

I bring that up because I think that racial familiarity plays a real role here. You said that you grew up in a primarily homogenous place (racially speaking), so it's entirely possible that the small sample size that you're confronted with now might be a bit over-extrapolated in your mind, possibly leading to over generalizations not built upon the sturdiest of ground work.

Take me as an example, until I was 15, I lived in an area that was primarily white, with a burgeoning African American population. So who did I find most attractive up until that point? White women and black women, and at my Jr High and high school, interracial dating was very common.

Then I moved to an area that was predominantly white, Indian (Hindu) and Asian. My best friend in this area was Indian. I'd go to parties that his community would have and every woman looked the same! Same thick, black hair, same curved nose, same features. Heck, many of them seemed to share the same personality traits, so I unknowingly grouped that together in my mind as well.

But then, after a few months and a few years, I really noticed the differences. First the obvious. Then the more subtle. Flash forward, and the Indian women I see now couldn't look any more unique if they tried. They're individuals, who look, talk and act completely separate from anyone else.

The stereotypes that we sometimes see to make the unfamiliar familiar are then replaced by what's actually there, and our mental picture of beauty expands. Funny thing is that my buddy used to say the same thing about white people. Dude seriously couldn't tell us apart.

So yeah, before you go as far as to say you don't find a whole ethnicity attractive, whether it's skin color, bone structure or whatever, maybe do some more familiarizing and see if that's a preference built on qualified opinion or a lack of experience.

If it's an opinion without experience, then that sounds a little like ignorance, and possibly a prejudgment of others due to said ignorance.

Well said.

Its a taste, a preference, everyone is different. Like for me I think Asians are butt fucking ugly, and Indian, Pakistani, and Middle Eastern women to be the most beautiful in the world(though its feast or famine with them usually, either gorgeous or WHOA WTF). I love girls that are half black as well, it usually gives them that nice caramel skin color like Alicia Keys.

I laughed at this harder than I should have.

But to answer the OP, no it's not racist if you don't find a particular race attractive. We all have preferences, as many others have said. I for instance, am strongly attracted to Hispanic women. While on the other hand I find Asian and Middle Eastern women less attractive. That said, I would date any race of women. Just because I find a certain group less attractive doesn't mean I wouldn't date someone of that group. Race really isn't important.

Now if you had refused to date someone because they were a certain race, that would be racist.

Indians/Pakistanis are south Asian.

I can't stop laughing at this. Oh Bea Arthur I do miss you.

Everyone's got their own perspective on races, you're not a racist if you don't find one more attractive than the other. I've only dated Caucasians, but that's not to see I don't find someone from a different race to be cute looking. I've got friends who are dating someone from a different race and I think it's cute that they found love between each other.

You're only a racist if you generalize and be a prick about two different races dating each other and try to find reasons to split them up. I've see that happen and I think it's extremely rude and they need to have someone spit in their coffee and a kick to the shin.

I think is perfectly normal for people to have their preferences. I think people who only prefer their own race or certain races, should open up to the idea of dating other races. You might surprise yourself on how much in common you might have with a person of different race.

Been an advocate for tasting the rainbow all my life.

I've had sex with a White, Black, AND Brown woman. German, African/?, and Dominican, to be specific.

It had nothing to do with their ethnicities, although I must divulge that I have a hard time seeing myself in a serious relationship with a white woman (likely due to my mom's disdain for the idea growing up), while I'm highly attracted to Latinas in every aspect (probably because I was raised on the southwest side of Grand Rapids....and Salma Hayek).

I see your Selma Hayek, and raise you Roselyn Sanchez.



My Puerto Rican goddess, right there. lol
Physically, Roselyn Sanchez is my ideal woman. I have yet to come across another woman I find more attractive than her. In fact, there are very few women I find to be both beautiful and sexy. Roselyn Sanchez is one of them.

Not going to lie here, that nose is pretty bad.

Eh, I prefer Salma. The lady who really gets my motor running (and is less likely to deter me based on "her being married" or me being "too young" for them) is Ariana Grande....I think.

Sometimes she's hot, and sometimes she just looks adorable.

I'm half black and black women are ugly to me. They smell funky, I hate their hair, and they act like idiots... well may not ALL of them. But 99.9%

... now don't go calling me racist. Or else I'd hate half of myself, right?

So obviously, not being attracted (speaking on both physical looks and stereotypical personalities) does not make you racist (or else I should go out back and hang myself).

I totally forgot my most recent trip to the Bahamas (that's the black half of me) where I saw a lot of beautiful black women. So... maybe this is a USA problem? Or are we genetically geared to feel attracted to certain races because of our own genetic history? Hmm...

So, pray tell, who are you into? I'm general, id love it if we all chimed in our preferred ladies/fellas.

Assuming a particular race of people behave a certain way and exclaiming hatred against them because is racism. Sorry, bro.

Now if you simply stated that black women looked ugly to you, that would be understandable, but your reasons go beyond appearance. Way beyond.