lol i cant write anythin lol but i wanna learn how to make music for any rap and r&b song lol for any lyrics in here lol

Give it a shot. You might like it. Who knows? You might be a natural. Lol. Fatality.

"Sacrifice"
Here in this hell, things are never well,
And I feel so swell here in my cell.
The hours wind down, and the years fly by,
And still I wonder why I try and why I cry.
It's like a satisfaction from all the guilt,
Protecting me in from the wall I've built.
Take it away, let me say my say,
And for yesterday I find I still rot away.

Living on the brink makes it so hard to think;
You down your drink, catching my eye with a wink.
The clocks run out, and I can't hesitate;
Rape for rape, it's all one big mistake.
I'm stuck forever here because of one choice,
And it was one I knew I'd make if I gave it voice.
Now that I'm here, I find that I can't fear,
And as I down my beer, I pull you near.

Sacrifice. That's how I roll the dice.
But even the pain will suffice,
Because I knew I'd pay this price.
I've been stuck in this stasis twice;
So, let me give you one bit of advice:
It is when people accept each other's vice
That there is a seperation of men and mice.

I've fallen so very low, but I let it be so,
Because even I know I'm able to live and grow.
Turning back the clocks, I only see talk;
Useless words. Where's those willing to rock?
They're too afraid to come out of the dark;
That won't do, so where can we start?
People used to take risks, take the twists;
Too many chances missed, so I settle it with my fists.

Sacrifice. That's how I roll the dice.
But even the pain will suffice,
Because I knew I'd pay this price.
I've been stuck in this stasis twice;
So, let me give you one bit of advice:
It is when people accept each other's vice
That there is a seperation of men and mice.

I see her strut, licking her lips and grabbin' her butt;
I'm stuck in a rut, but even I know what's what.
She knows what I want, so she makes her move,
Treating me like I've got something there to prove.
It's just another way to get under my skin,
But she finds that my heart's not so weak within,
So she'll antagonize, trying to tantalize,
But I'm not hypnotized, and I won't compromise.

Sacrifice. That's how I roll the dice.
But even the pain will suffice,
Because I knew I'd pay this price.
I've been stuck in this stasis twice;
So, let me give you one bit of advice:
It is when people accept each other's vice
That there is a seperation of men and mice.

So now it comes down, fading all around;
I almost drown as I sink into the ground.
Here and now, make my stand, make my day!
I won't take it any other way, and that's my say!
I won't give up all I have left to give, and so I live,
Even if I have to live a life she can never forgive.
And so I draw nearer, a reflection in the mirror,
But I don't fear her, I can only hear her.

Sacrifice. That's how I roll the dice.
But even the pain will suffice,
Because I knew I'd pay this price.
I've been stuck in this stasis twice;
So, let me give you one bit of advice:
It is when people accept each other's vice
That there is a seperation of men and mice.

Fatality.

"Confusion"
Things are so black and white, anymore.
It's so hard to stand up and fight for more.
I have nothing, so I have nothing to loose,
But to find happiness again, I have to choose;
Do I follow my heart or follow my mind,
Because both have caused me to be in a bind.
What can I do to prove myself to you?
I was played for a fool, I just never knew.

My life has so much confusion;
This world is just an illusion.
I take the pain, but it won't go away,
And so I seek peace just one more day.

If I made a right choice, then why the regret?
I had nothing to gain, why can't I forget?
The truth is I can't, because I held something so dear
Deep in my heart with a love that I feared.
I said it wasn't worth it, but that was never heard,
And while I wish the pain had never occurred,
I know that I was wrong to do that to you,
But you have to realize that you're wrong, too.

My life has so much confusion;
This world is just an illusion.
I take the pain, but it won't go away,
And so I seek peace just one more day.

This week's been rough, to say the very least,
But I know I'm a man, no longer a beast,
And if I want to die hard and to live true,
Then there's nobody I'd rather live for than you.
People can either grow bitter, never forgive,
Or they can find it in them to continue to live,
But to be at peace means to move past the offense
And to offer yourself up in humbled recompense.

My life has so much confusion;
This world is just an illusion.
I take the pain, but it won't go away,
And so I seek peace just one more day.

Fatality.

"Another"
It's like another new hate, down in my gut.
It's like another mistake; I'm stuck in a rut.
It's like another bad day, driving me down.
It's like another delay with no one around.
It's like another nightare, filling me up.
It's like another's uncare, but enough is enough.
It's like another dark lie, and then it's done.
It's like you scream inside, with no where to run.

Another day, another way,
Another chance to say how I'd repay
Another delay while another prays,
Like another's pay, down to lay,
And another gray keeping another at bay,
And another won't stay, but that's okay.
Another's slay for another's betray,
But I'll say my say another day.

It's like another deep fear, down in the mud.
It's like another so near, drowned in the blood.
It's like another new hope, driving me on.
It's like another's way to cope, getting along.
It's like another lost love, covered in dust.
It's like another killed dove, held in distrust.
It's like another's true might, of taking a stand.
It's like another pure right, being who I am.

Another day, another way,
Another chance to say how I'd repay
Another delay while another prays,
Like another's pay, down to lay,
And another gray keeping another at bay,
And another won't stay, but that's okay.
Another's slay for another's betray,
But I'll say my say another day.

Another! Another! Is there no other?
I almost smother in the arms of a lover,
But with thoughts of another who'll be a mother,
I know I'm just a brother in love with another.
Another! Another! There is no other.

Another day, another way,
Another chance to say how I'd repay
Another delay while another prays,
Like another's pay, down to lay,
And another gray keeping another at bay,
And another won't stay, but that's okay.
Another's slay for another's betray,
But I'll say my say another day.

Fatality.

Okay, 4 new songs, yipee!!!

These 2 I wrote in school:

(about the first one's title...long story)
----------------------------------
TOMMY KOMBAT
-----------------------------------

You hear something then start whining
Is it because you don't get what you earn?
So as you're crying your eyes out, I'll watch
But I have to go now

You won't let me take off the mask
You're afraid you'd see the old
But HA! What do you see now?
Don't look back

Yeah, I made a joke
You took it way too seriously
You try to get the first hit
But I learned you're too feeble

Don't go for revenge now

----------------------------------------------------
THE WEIRDEST CONVERSATION EVER MADE
-----------------------------------------------------

I told them something they want to hear
I had a feeling you would take it literally.
That line on that paper
I'll just censor it

Now you have no reason to complain

I guess it should have never happened
We shouldn't laugh
We shouldn't be amused
We shouldn't be happy

Well, we want to
So get off it

----------------------------------------------------

These 2 I made before I went to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------

SPICY DORITO

---------------------------------------------------

All the way back in the seat
Can't react because I'm still
I close my eyes for one second
We're already 700 miles away

I thought, "Yeah, I'll live"
But then something is heard
Some noise I can't take
At least I slept more

I had no earplugs
But whatever, I don't care
Whatever happens, ignore it
They are coming

--------------------------------------------------
THE TOM MIXES
--------------------------------------------------

I watch in horror how they act
You are really judgemental
You look at the face and dismiss
Have you heard of the inside?

I'm speechless at the moment
Stood still and can't talk
So go ahead and eat your fried Oreos
I'll just sit here and think

Something's got to happen
Hee hee ho ha ha!

Does change change itself?

-------------------------------------------------

DONE!

What ill stab you knock u out and blam u
think u can step ta me what ill slam u
i dont play nuttin but MK tahts the Sh%t thats what i say
hey wanna play bring ya A-Game yo cuz when u go home cryin i dont want ta be the 1 to blame. what what holla back w00t. and thats my song lyric that i just mde up

See my sig. It's my 1st shitty attempt at (meaningless) poetry.

Yeah, right. If that's bad, I would love to hear your good. Fatality.

"See You Happy"
Every single way, I just hold out to say
Whatever I can so you'd understand.
But, no matter how I try, I can never deny
That I'd give it all, take my fall,
To see you happy.

Nothing but regret, and I'll just bet
That so far all we have are scars.
It's not all grief; you gave me relief,
And in my own life, I wanted to rid your strife,
To see you happy.

It's not like before, because I know more,
And I'm not a fool, under a dark rule.
I'm someone better, freed from my fetter,
And I'd give you my soul to make you whole;
To see you happy.

And now in the past, my love still lasts,
And I will love you from now till I'm through.
Don't forsake me; you can't break me,
Because I won't condone and leave you alone.
I'll see you happy.

Fatality.

Head spinning, Ears ringing
Pulse racing Vision fading.
Limbs are sore, body broken
My spirit can't go any more
It feels is if I was hung and started chokin'

The bell tolls for me
As a kick meets my ribs
Vision is clouding, getting harder to see.
A strike to my jaw, it shatters my lips
I fall on one knee.

My breathing is laobored
My progress is tapered
Is this the end for me?

I rise to my feet
And find a calm beat
The crowd starts to wail
But the words only trail

I find my center
And I focus my strike
I take a deep breath
And transfer into an air hike

Extending my foot and traveling forward
One shot is need and the match is awarded.

PRINCE CHARMING

It seems like such a long long time ago,
When you and I were right as rain,
And now I am hurting so,
I can't ever escape the pain,
It doesn't make sense how I could love you one minute,
And then hate you the next,
How you could be everything,
And then suddenly mean nothing,
I guess that's the crazy game that love plays on me baby,
Sometimes its so hard to believe that you love me,
I guess the same could be said for me,
But I swear with all my heart and soul,
Your love makes me whole,
And I'd give anything for you to know,
That I never want to let you go,

No matter what I do,
I can never get my mind off of you,
And it breaks my heart when we're apart,
So come to me and take me away,
Today's the day,
Show me all the ways you love me,
Be my Prince Charming,

There are times when I want to get as far from you as I can,
And I hope you understand,
That when I'm moving away its not forever,
In the end we'll be together,
But I don't have time for all the games,
Men are all the same,
So its time for you to step up,
Prove your love,
Because you'll get no more pity from me,
If you really love then take me in your embrace,
Wisk me away to some far off place,
And never look back,
If you really loved me you'd do what I ask,
Give the same devotion to me,
That I will give to you,
It's not a great demand just something I need,
Something you can do,

I'm sorry if its wrong to doubt your love,
But the fairytale is something I've dreamt of,
I need to get this right,
And if everything is going to be alright,
Then prove I'm your everything,
Show me all the ways you need me,
Be my Prince Charming,

Lonely days have come and gone,
And I never want to go back to before,
I don't want to sing any more lonely songs,
And I believe that I won't have to anymore,
Because I believe in you,
I have out my heart in your hands,
But I need to see,
That you won't let me bleed,
That when I call,
You won't let my heart fall,

No matter what I do,
I can never get my mind off of you,
And it breaks my heart when we're apart,
So come to me and take me away,
Today's the day,
Show me all the ways you love me,
Be my Prince Charming,

I'm sorry if its wrong to doubt your love,
But the fairytale is something I've dreamt of,
I need to get this right,
And if everything is going to be alright,
Then prove I'm your everything,
Show me all the ways you need me,
Be my Prince Charming.

I wrote these songs in front of a tanning salon...heh. So while I was waiting on a comfortable lounge chair, I wrote these songs...

---------------------------------------
BLOCK THE SUN
----------------------------------------
Where could I begin?
But where could I end?
I'm just ignoring this
I'll hear this more times

I could be deaf
That'll happen soon
Since this is gone, I'm happy
Thanks, at least the song's short

Yeah..it was just beginning
Now it won't leave
Now I know where to start
Still...where could I end?

-----------------------------------------
SESSION II
-----------------------------------------
This is the time to stop reality
I could open up a page and lighten up
Okay, you have the major flaw
Say it and you....

DIE!
Just kidding

Time for the commercials
Don't turn your back on me
Watery eyes, itchy eyes
I need an icepack

Then as soon as your war continues
We stop it finally

--------------------------------------------------
Okay, I'm just fishing out random songs now...

This song I wrote in school.
---------------------------------------------------
SONG TITLE WITHHELD (this is the actual title, by the way)
---------------------------------------------------
You can't help it
It's your nature
Act like an idiot and get worshipped
I'm not buying it

Everyone wants to see it -- it's cool?
I don't think so
I'm turned around in the corner
I'll get my fill of food while you draw blood

You can't communicate
So use your fists
That's so stupid
Another one?

Way of the idiot
2 fights in a row

--------------------------------------------------
Here's one I wrote at my free time at this youth group at the church I go to...this one is actually about a girl at school named Jessica who was so frigging annoying and exploded at everyone for no reason. The title is what my peers usually call her when we get back at her for being so stupid..( minus the question mark )

-------------------------------------------------
FAT?
------------------------------------------------

You'd better stay away
I was happy when you were away
People told me you were somewhere else
Unfortunately, it came out wrong

Why do I stress over this?
I'm not listening
Hey, it's not like you ever did
Blind ear, deaf eye

I'm wasting this time
Can I get it back?

I hear you whine
Then I flee
Finally, glad that you did
------------------
Like, done and stuff.

"Decision Deducement"
Maybe this is like what I never wanted it to be,
Running from myself and my own hypocrisy.
But you won't walk with me or talk with me,
And everything else is not how it ought to be,
I'm everything I hated and everything I've feared,
"But you've had enough of water. I'll give thee no tears."
There's so much I wanna be and wanna do,
But more than anything, I wanna be there for you.

Everything close to me
(won't take me)!
Everyone close to me
(won't save me)!
Everything close to me
(won't take me)!
Everyone close to me
(won't save me)!

It's like I can't ever be there when you're under attack;
"Frailty, thy name is woman", or something like that,
But there's too much remorse that's run its course,
And now there's nothing but tears like in a bitter divorce.
That's not how I want it, but it spreads like the plague.
I want something better, but that's being too vague.
It's struck me so hard that it's more than alarming;
Without a princess to love, there can be no Prince Charming.

Everything close to me
(won't take me)!
Everyone close to me
(won't save me)!
Everything close to me
(won't take me)!
Everyone close to me
(won't save me)!

You'd think a love-struck fool would know enough
To reason that he's as "fleeting as woman's love."
But instead, I'm stuck in this recession of eternal depression;
And still forever "to be or not to be, that is the question."
You give out your heart hastily and it'll be squeezed dry,
And then as your blood cools, you stumble back and die.
I am what you make of me, and I offer up no pretense;
But now it all fades. "Good night, sweet prince."

Everything close to me
(won't take me)!
Everyone close to me
(won't save me)!
Everything close to me
(won't take me)!
Everyone close to me
(won't save me)!

Fatality.

ONLY YOU

When I think of you its like a fire ignites inside,
At the very moment you look into my eyes, I'm hypnotized,
And I wanna get down and dirty,
I wanna get hot and sweaty,
And I would do anything to feel your love inside of me,
Thrusting harder, deeper, with such intensity,
Switch it up, lay it down, move it side by side,
Remix it, lay you down, and rock you on the ride,
I envision of all these scenarios everytime I close my eyes,
But I'm so tired of having to fantasize,
I wanna hold you close and let you take me,
So grab a hold and let it all go, baby I'm ready,

I wish I could tell you,
All the naughty things I wanna do,
(To you and only you)
I wanna feel your love,
In the club,
In the hot tub,
Fill me up with your love,
Take it real slow,
Let it overflow,
I wish I could,
But I can't,
I can't tell you,
All the nasty things I wanna do,
(To you and only you)

The caress of your kiss on the back of my neck,
Makes me want to explode in ecstacy,
And I could never get enough of your touch,
Too much will never be enough,
When you slide it inside its such a rush,
It flushes my body with so much love,
I'm hot to the touch, I'm burning alive inside,
Making love with you is paradise,
Make your move, flip me over, and take me from behind,
I'm gonna take advantage of you in so many ways, and I won't be kind,
I can see so clearly everything I wanna do with you tonight,
You better not put up a fight,
I'm gonna hold you close and let you take me,
So grab a hold and let it all go, baby I'm ready,

I wish I could tell you,
All the naughty things I wanna do,
(To you and only you)
I wanna feel your love,
In the club,
In the hot tub,
Fill me up with your love,
Take it real slow,
Let it overflow,
I wish I could,
But I can't,
I can't tell you,
All the nasty things I wanna do,
(To you and only you)

I wish I could tell you,
All the naughty things I wanna do,
(To you and only you)
I wanna feel your love,
In the club,
In the hot tub,
Fill me up with your love,
Take it real slow,
Let it overflow,
I wish I could,
But I can't,
I can't tell you,
All the nasty things I wanna do,
(To you and only you)

I wish I could,
But I can't,
I can't, I can't, I can't,
I can't tell you,
All the freaky things I wanna do,
To you and only you,
You and only you baby.

"Hurt"
Baby girl, why, oh why, can't you see?
All that you're doing is killing me!
Do you think I don't care?
You run away whenever I'm there!
Just like a knife to the wrist,
You cut me and pretend I don't exist!
Do you truly think that I can't feel?
As long as you run, I can never heal.

It hurts so deep, even in my sleep.
A promise to keep, yet still I weep.
Both blood and mud, my heart's dirt,
And drowned in the flood, I forever hurt.

She put her arms around me, held me tight,
She whispered in my ear, "everything's alright."
And I held her dear in my heart,
Wishing that she and I were never apart,
Only to get stabbed in the back
As my reality slowly distorts to black.
Crimson tears flow from my eyes,
And I reach for her, all that my heart denies.

It hurts so deep, even in my sleep.
A promise to keep, yet still I weep.
Both blood and mud, my heart's dirt,
And drowned in the flood, I forever hurt.

I want to end this pain! Girl, it's insane!
Like a blood rain, it corrupts and profanes!
You knew I'd face armies and dart through flames,
Fight off demons, give up body, life, and name,
To make sure that you were safe and secure.
I'd fight for you still and enjoy all I'd endure,
Because I'm not as weak as you think I am,
And I'll fucking DIE to prove I'm worth a damn!

It hurts so deep! I can never sleep!
My promise to keep! You'll never weep!
Both blood and mud, my heart's dirt,
And drowned in the flood, I forever hurt!

Fatality.

Okay, now I'm starting to go a little overboard with this thing.

Another song! I wrote it in...guess where? SCHOOL! Actually, in the office. Some idiot sprayed shaving cream all over my pants so I wrote this song in the office when I was waiting for the principal.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
FROTH FLOOD
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Walking down the stairs
Someone tells me a notice
Someone sprayed stuff all over me
Why didn't I see it?

I really don't need this
Why do you keep bugging me?
I'm at the office again
But I'm still innocent

I'm still reeking of fruit
This is useless, certainly dumb
Stay here! Hear me complain!
One more step to driving me insane

-----------------------------------------------------------------
One that I wrote after a really annoying dream I had. I dreamt that I got up from bed, and every 5 seconds I'd automatically fall on the bed and get stuck again. I think I had this dream for about an half an hour. So I got up finally, without falling on the bed magically and wrote this song about it.
------------------------------------------------------------------
BLACK MYSTIC
------------------------------------------------------------------
Where the heck am I?
Why can't I get off?
I'm going to try another method
Why didn't it work?

I'm going to stand up
Everything's changing shape
Including my face too
I'm back again

I blink one more time
I'm still stuck
Finally, the room flashes, I can move
That was annoying
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally, a song that I wrote in school that's about a substitute teacher that accused me of saying offensive things, when it was in fact the kid next to me. Everybody tried to explain it to him and he didn't want to hear it. So about a week after I wrote about it. Heh, the principal screamed at the teacher over the intercom after he wouldn't let me in, which was very entertaining that he got what he deserved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
LOCK THE DOOR
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sitting next to a maniac
Somehow I get the blame
I'm trying to protest
It doesn't work
Don't kick me out

Now I'm at the office
You're wasting my time
They don't believe you

You refuse to let me in
Yeah, I knew you'd get yours
Now I'm frowning on the outside
I was hilarious on the inside

Don't try to give me a lecture I don't need
I'm not listening...not listening...not listening...not..really...listening
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Done. Man, I wonder why I'm typing all these lengthy notes between songs. I oughta shut up already!

"Masochist"
Take everything and burn it away!
I can't live this life, living day by day!
Too much blood in my mouth to swallow,
Too much taint in my soul, so hallow,
And I want to break this face!
Rid myself of the disgrace!
Slam my fists against the wall,
Scream out though none hear the call,
And tear the very flesh from my bones!
And there I'd die, bleeding all alone.

Christ! Give me strength to stand!
God! Make me a better man!
All I live by is a rule by blood and fist,
And here and now, I'm the ultimate masochist!

Drink my blood and laugh out loud!
Glad to see, Dad, I made you so proud!
Chains on my neck and glass in my feet,
I stand tall and strong; I won't accept defeat.
Slap across the face; punch to my gut;
I bruise and I bleed and I break and I cut.
Is that all you got?! I can match you all for all!
In cheap, dirty play, you go straight for my balls.
You once professed love, but it was never legit,
And you delight at the buckets of blood that I spit.

Christ! Give me strength to stand!
God! Make me a better man!
All I live by is a rule by blood and fist,
And here and now, I'm the ultimate masochist!

I can't see a thing, my eye's so swollen shut.
My mind's so gone, I don't know what's what.
My lungs fill with my own blood and I cough,
Spitting crimson jets; girl, you piss me off,
And I won't sit down and let you degrade me;
Acting like God, like you're the one who made me!
With blood-stained hands, I grab your neck,
Too far gone to keep my temper in check;
I have the chance to pay it all back, blow for blow,
But I let you go, because I still love you, don't you know?

Christ! Give me strength to stand!
God! Make me a better man!
All I live by is a rule by blood and fist,
And here and now, I'm the ultimate masochist!

Fatality.

This is a song I started on, but it's not quite finished yet. It's called "Mike's Song" it's about my brother Michael that died back in 1998.

I can't believe that you've been taken away,
I can't believe that you've gone away,
You were only seventeen when that damned disease killed you,
But now I see that there's nothing I could do.

Now I'm letting go, now I'm letting go.
I know you're smiling down,
Now I'm letting go, now I'm letting go.
I know you're smiling down.

That's all I've got so far, it's a work in progress.

Here's another song I wrote a long time ago called "Point of Origin"

Verse 1

I always loved you right from the start,
The point of origin was in my heart,
You never took the time to even say hi,
I just sat in my room hoping I would die,
Several suicidal tendencies filled my mind,
It was always to you which I was confined,
I would compliment you almost every day,
You would turn your back and just walk away.

Chorus

How could you ignore me?
You left me hanging out to dry,
If you only knew how many times you made me cry,
Then you'd finally know the pain you always left behind,
You were my point of origin,
But now by myself I will abide.

Verse 2

You know love these days is so hard to find,
You were always the love trapped inside of my mind,
You never even had the slightest clue,
About how much I really needed you,
I just sat around hoping my life was done,
Just pull the trigger make this world be gone,
I lived my life with ongoing pain,
It was only your love that I wanted to gain.

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3

Now the pain is gone and I wonder why?
Did I ever really want to die?
You weren't worth the trouble I have to admit,
That my love for you didn't equal shit,
As this chapter in my life draws to an end,
A brand new chapter will surely begin,
And as time goes on I begin to see,
That you didn't mean a thing to me.

Repeat Chorus X2

~Fin~

"Dead"
Trapped in a dream, no beginning or end,
I struggle for a purpose, for someone to defend,
Following my scripted exploits through life,
Unable to escape all my anguish and strife.
Death is death, but that's more than it should be,
And I'll haunt this world forever till you see
That there's more to loving that just the talks,
And my love doesn't end when I'm down in a box.

All that I dread, all that I've bled,
Has come, instead, unto this bed.
Nightmares in my head have lead
And have pled that all I've fed
Has wed the tears I've shed;
All I've read and all I've ever said
Made my love spread long after I'm dead.

Not like this, I won't admit that this is just a ruse,
A farcical game in which I can't help but lose.
Call me mad, call me lost, but it's still my choice,
And in my agony, I can't help but rejoice.
Fates bemoan, I challenge you to live and die,
Because I have to know if all you said was but a lie.
All the tears and all the blood, was it just a game?
Take what you will, but I'm strong enough to bear the shame.

All that I dread, all that I've bled,
Has come, instead, unto this bed.
Nightmares in my head have lead
And have pled that all I've fed
Has wed the tears I've shed;
All I've read and all I've ever said
Made my love spread long after I'm dead.

Stuck in a box, down six feet under,
I gaze in darkness and forever wonder,
How did I come to be so dead to you?
In all my life, I thought for sure you knew,
That this very heart pounds for your touch,
Because this flesh craves you so very much.
All the death, and lies, and fear, and hurt, and rape,
I'd die to make it all go away, for you to escape.

All that I dread, all that I've bled,
Has come, instead, unto this bed.
Nightmares in my head have lead
And have pled that all I've fed
Has wed the tears I've shed;
All I've read and all I've ever said
Made my love spread long after I'm dead.

Now a ghost of the past, I linger on,
Nothing but a forgotten voice long gone.
I couldn't live with myself if I could not feel,
And were you dead, I'd pray you'd haunt me still.
She's gone, she's dead, and now so am I,
And for that, I know none will mourn nor cry.
Just a name with a stone, my final resting place,
Never again to see the beauty of your delicate face.

All that I dread, all that I've bled,
Has come, instead, unto this bed.
Nightmares in my head have lead
And have pled that all I've fed
Has wed the tears I've shed;
All I've read and all I've ever said
Made my love spread long after I'm dead.

Those that are loved, they never die.
My only beloved, I can never deny
That if my death has brought you happiness,
Than there has never been a happier life than this.

Fatality.

I don't believe in god or the heavens
but I met an angel.

Her wings were broken, and she was afraid to fly, but she showed me that I had my own wings, and I should spread them wide and soar.

The sadness in her words told me that I should help mend her wings. Her eyes grew wide, and she smiled at me. She taught me to see the simplicity and complexity of everything, so I feel like I should repay the favor for helping open my eyes to a world I saw as utter darkenss..

Fly with me, sweet angel.

Indeed... sweet angel... *cries* Fatality.

"So Close and Far"
Will those warm feelings never return to me?
Pieces of my dream slip through my fingers...
But now, but somewhere distantly
I can feel love.
It may be a distant dream, a dim love but
once more, I love you.
Those shattered visions and traces cut
of the past once shined through.
I turn my face toward a song on the wind
but those days gone by have disappeared.
But now, love flows unhinged
through the depths of my heart's sphere.
A distant sky, a far-off time...
but without a doubt
once more, I love you.
Don't say never again!
Don't say never again
because this melody I repeat in prayer
will reach you no matter how far apart we are...
Someday, sometime in a distant place somewhere
will we be able to share love? As thou are...
It may be a distant dream, a dim love but
once more, I love you.
Dream Again! Offer this bliss up!
Someday, sometime in a distant place, true,
will we be able to share love?
Crossing over distant skies and far-off time,
once more, dream again, my dove.
My love will never end! From now till the end of time.

Fatality.

Hi again! Maybe I should officially leave, as appearing once every 3-5 months isnt really cutting it...

Title - Afraid Of The Unknown

the world has long turned against me
what kind of fame wants to pressure me
I want to rise again, and it wants me to fall
it cornered my will and I dont want it all
this was supposed to be for fun
but clearly im not fooling anyone
who knows when and how this curse will be lifted
there is always a penalty for those who are gifted

im not afraid
im not afraid
of old age
im not afraid
im not afraid
of positive's taste

i havent turned out quite the way i wanted to be
and im no longer quite the way i used to be
it kinda just fell into my lap of misery
convincing onlookers that its a luxury
listen now and please listen very closely
i dont think this is how anyone is supposed to be
when you start to sweat from pacing back and forth
you have to wonder what it is that its looking for

im not afraid
im not afraid
to make my escape
im not afraid
im not afraid
of positive's taste

the world is so turned against me
what kind of fame wants to pressure me
I want to rise again, and it wants me to fall
it cornered my will and I dont want it all
this was supposed to be for fun
but clearly im not fooling anyone
who knows when and how this curse will be lifted
no more disappointments when you stray from the positive

im not afraid
to be afraid
to make my escape
im not afraid
to be afraid
to keep away

i dont want it all
i dont want it all
listen world
i dont want it all
so please
just let me go
--------------------------

Title - Tempting Despair

Something sent chills down through my spine
Felt free enough to take what is mine
Hearts are for kids while I prefer to rebel
Maturity keeps pushing me all the way to hell
Looking for a place for the hope to believe
Finding only nothing that can earn my keep

This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be

And self esteem has disappeared
Leaving me alone with desperate despair
When concededness and arrogance conquers me
I realize that this is not how I want to be

This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be

With hatred aside and feelings behind
Its fate to see my will to survive
Later that day, night collects its breath
To blow apart my world and to kill what is left

This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be

Wasting my life to drift around the sky
Crashing down to reality that I cannot fly
I must not ask for anyones help
There must be something else
There must be a place for me to need
A chance for me to break free
Oh, how I want to be free and nothing else
There must be a way to break free of myself

This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be
This is not how I want to be
--------------------------------------------

This one is from Nirvana's "With The Lights Out" box set...their first version of Rape Me that appears...I felt very close to the words, so I re-wrote a HUGE part of it...to match my mind...I used a couple lines from a Faith No More song, and another Nirvana song, but for the most part...its all me

Title - Rape Me (my version)

soon my embaressments gone
hey
feeling that sacred song
yeh
i am my own elite force
thorns
stick in the flesh so warm
free

rape me
do it and do it again
hate me
rape me my friend

it feels so empty inside
free
i no longer have to hide
yeh
making myself feel that sting
ohhh
dont regret a thing
nooo

rape me
do it and do it again
waste me
rape me my friend

i have no remorse
ohhh
i cant find recourse
yeh
cant get much more worse
nooo
i am tired and bored
geee

rape me
rape me my friend
waste me
do it and do it again

get a kick out of pain
yeh
im at awe that I remain
yeh
closing in on greed
hey
cant fight that jealousy
nooo
i cant think or cry
nooo
have to draw that line
yeh
fighting for nothing
yeh
earning all my pain
ahhh

rape me
rape me my friend
hate me
waste me again

i speak to hear my voice
mmm
sometimes tired of noise
yeh
something is in my room
ohhh
killing me for food
ahhh
i cannot stand to lose
mmm
i feel i paid my dues
yeh
cry for a happy ending
ohhh
world is getting windy
yeh

rape me
rape my my friend
rape me
rape me again

soon i will find remorse
yeh
too late to be reborn
nooo
trapped alone in the dark
hmmm
God seems to be too far
ahhh
only he can give me strength
yeh
pray life doesnt mean a thing
yeh
riding it until the end
free
rape me again my friend
yeh

rape me
do it and do it again
waste me
hate me my friend

soon my embaressments gone
free
the end of my sacred song
ohhh
rape me
rape me again



Slica - nice to see you guys again...Trish, Andrea, Gar...Sponge...nice to see another Nirvana fan (my #1 band)

For an update, I won MVP of the independent football league im playing in...im currently in season 2...will be going for the AFL, unless I can get enough money for college, in which case id be playing for the Terrapins...(im a CB...and ive put up ridiculous numbers in my first year of the IDP league), ive gotten ridiculously huge and in great shape...so half the battle is won...so enough bragging...ill get at you guys later...cya!