Why don't you just make this a joke thread? RENAME IT!!

Your momma was so fat, Shu-up.

What do you call a German girl's tampon? A TWATstika

Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?

A: She's the one with the dirty knees.

A priest, a rapist and a paedophile walk into a bar..

..He ordered a drink.

Q: How could the redneck mom tell that her daughter was on her period?


A: She could taste the blood on her son’s dick!

Why do we call buildings "buildings" after we're doing building? They outta be called "built."

What do you call a horse with a bad leg?

Glue.

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea. Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment." I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all." "Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her.Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times." If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"

your mom is like a shotgun.... 5 cocks and the bitch is loaded

Your momma is so slutty she joined a baseball team for the bat.

The only good one so far in this thread.

Your mom is like the gate to Al Kharid, 10gp for entry

What's green, red, and goes 40mph?

A frog in a blender.
---------------------------------
If your 8th Grade art project involved taxedermy, than you might be a redneck.

Megan Fox's acting career.

Two otters are taking a shower together. The first otter says, "could you pass the soap?" The second otter says, "No soap. Could you pass the flashlight?"

...

An Irishman walks past a bar.

^ An Irishman actually leaves a bar

Hit new series about a baseball player's rocky relationships.

Schwing & a Ms.


Lame is, Le Ms.



Ka-Tra

A captain and his crewmen sail the seas. One day, one in the Crow's Nest calls down to his Captain, "There's a ship on the horizon!' The captain looks at another crewman and says "Bring me my red shirt." Th crewman gets the shirt for him and the battle ensues, without the fore-mentioned boat losing a single soldier or being hit. The crewman says "Captain, why did you want your red shirt?" The captain looks to him and says "If I was hit, the crew would not see my blood and would continue to battle." The crewman says "That's pretty cool!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next day, the crewman in the Crow's Nest calls down to his captain, frantically screaming to hime "There's fifty ships on the horizon, sir!" The captain turns to the other crewsman and says "Bring me my brown pants!"

Policeman(upon arresting a Zombie):why is there a dead hooker on your lap?

Zombie: the hooker said she was going to give me some brain.

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried.
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"

Two birds are sitting on a perch, and one says "Do you smell fish?"