Avatar
FROID
Avatar
About Me

03/12/2013 01:04 AM (UTC)
0
Icebaby Wrote:
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried.
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"


nice


here's a good one




sleep
Avatar
.
03/20/2013 04:15 AM (UTC)
0
"Eating pussy is just like politics. It's great for the people, but there's always something fishy about it."


Just came up with that like, two seonds ago.
Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

A: E.T. eventually went home!




Q: What's does the Ann Coulter doll look like?

A: It has the head of a barbie, but all the parts of Ken!


Q: Why is Katie Holmes divorcing Tom Cruise?

A: Apprently he'd been in A Few Good Men.

Avatar
Coltess
03/24/2013 02:16 AM (UTC)
0
A door to door salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The door is answered by a 10 year old boy in a bra and panties wearing high heeled shoes. He's smokin a cigar and drinkin a scotch.

The salesman goes "Whoah! Son! Are you're parents home?!"

And the kid says "What the fuck do you think?"
A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for
something a bit heavier".

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
Avatar
raidenthefridge
Avatar
About Me

Thanks to MINION for taking my Siginity!

04/03/2013 10:43 PM (UTC)
0
I'm a morbidly obese quadruple amputee.

That's just how I roll.
Pages: 2
Discord
Twitch
Twitter
YouTube
Facebook
Privacy Policy
© 1998-2025 Shadow Knight Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Mortal Kombat, the dragon logo and all character names are trademarks and copyright of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.