This. I don't ever need to see those retarded joke fatalities again. Nails? Seriously? Is this some kind of Tom & Jerry cartoon or is it Mortal Kombat?

Whenever people tell me that MK3 was an improvement on MKII, I point out three things that would shut them up (if they acknowledged them as true).

-The costumes and digital actors are beyond terrible. We got Jax in Day-Glo purple, Nightwolf in blue spandex, Sub-Zero as an obviously white dude, Sonya in some kinda wrestling costume, BMX armor wearing cyber ninjas, non-Ho Sung Pak Liu Kang, crazy ninja vest Kung Lao, blacked out Kano as Noob.

-Fatalities went from awesome to stupid. Name me a character in MK3 with 2 good Fatalities. Most of them have one good, one terrible. And some of them don't have any good ones.

-Stryker.

This is awesome but I still wish we knew which UK stores will be getting whichever classic outfit.
Less than 2 months and i cant preorder the kollectors edition yet, bollocks!

Sub-Zero: Both rock.
Sonya: Both are awesome.
Shang Tsung: Both are cool. One much better than the other for sure.
Sindel: Both are awesome.
Sektor, Kano, and a number from MKU/MKT.

etc etc etc etc etc

......I do understand your strong position regarding this game, though (I can already predict you'll say you don't like many of the examples I gave above). I can see that no matter what anyone says it won't change your mind or even move you a hair to consider it. I respect your feelings towards MK3.

However, I do feel you are being just a tad unfair 'cause MK3 had many good things. Granted, I truly truly TRULY hate all the bad ones. Still, I enjoy this game (+MKU, MKT) much better than MK2.

I agree with everything here

Oh god, how could I forgot to mention the newest member of KISS, MK3 Shang Tsung? Besides obviously being played by a white dude, everything about Shang Tsung's design in MK3 is flawed. Powerful sorcerers do not wear yellow spandex pants with a built in man-thong. Powerful sorcerers do not wear eye makeup for no reason.
I will now proceed to systematically and efficiently destroying your argument.

Ok, Sub-Zero. He blows cold air on the opponent and they fall and break. Pass.

Sub-Zero 2. He picks up the opponent, freezes them and breaks them. Pass.

I concede Sub-Zero.

Sonya. She blows a kiss into a ball of fire which turns the opponent into Meat-Blaze. Pass.

Sonya 2. She blows...again...a purple orb which turns the opponent into a blood explosion, 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones.
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL.

Sonya is eliminated.

Shang Tsung magically levitates the opponent into the air, where they are replaced by a skeleton that is supposed to represent a soul-sucked body. The soul-sucked body falls down and Shang Tsung looks very white and stupid. FAIL.

Shang Tsung magically conjures spikes in the ground beside him, then recycles his throw animation to put the opponent beside them. Blood shoots out of the opponent for no adequately explored reason. FAIL.

Shang Tsung is eliminated.

Sindel grabs the opponent with what must be consider 8,000% of her total hair volume. She pulls and the opponent Kabal spins into a blood explosion, 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. FAIL.

Sindel screams so loud that the skin of the character melts away into a photoshop effect, leaving a dripping meaty skeleton. Pass. Barely.

Sindel is eliminated.

Sektor's chest opens up and some kinda compressor that's 14 times bigger than he is pops out and crushes the opponent. Which would've been cool if not for the 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. Very slight pass.

Sektor shoots a flamethrower, turning the opponent into Meat-Blaze. Pass.

I concede Sektor.

Kano reaches into the opponent's mouth and, through their mouth, which stretches to allow this, pulls out their entire, dry skeleton. The opponent then collapses into a bloodless pile of jelly with a humungously stretched out mouth. FFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!

Kano shoots a laser beam out of his eye, which turns the opponent red, smoking and then, instead of turning them into Meat-Blaze (which may have saved it), the opponent turns into a blood explosion, 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. Obviously fail.

Kano is eliminated.

A number from UMK3/MKT?

Motaro picks up the opponent to throw them, but their head comes off with very little blood instead. Fail.

Ermac does Johnny Cage's MK1 Fatality, only with cheaply and badly done effects. Fail.

Ermac telekinetically slams the opponent multiple times. Pas-wait, they turned into a blood explosion, 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. Fail.

Jade sticks her staff into the opponent and vigorously shakes it with comical sound effects until the opponent turns into a blood explosion, 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. Fail.

Kitana kisses the opponent and instead of making them inflate and explode, they find their height messed with in photoshop before turning into a blood explosion, 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. Fail.

Mileena spits nails at her opponent while her head morphs into a cartoon character. Fail.

Mileena attempts to recreate her MK2 maneater Fatality, but discovers that in MK3, everyone is made up of 47 ribcages, 7 arms, 12 legs and about 917 miscellaneous bones. FAIL.

Classic Sub-Zero grabs the opponent to rip off their head, but that would be hard to animate so we fade to black. FAIL.

Scorpion conjures 10,000 copy pasted versions of himself and does something, but we'll never know what it is because the screen fades to black. Maybe they gangbanged him. FAIL.

Reptile unleashes gallons of acid from his venom sac and the opponent melts. Pass.

Reptile recreates his Fatality from MKII and eats the opponents head. Pas-wait then he eats the opponent's upper torso, leaving the opponent's forearms levitating in space. He then eats those to try and cover up the horrible photoshop body cuts in MK3. FAIL.

I could go on, but I think I've made my point.

The most family friendly department store gets the LEAST family friendly character in the game.


Wal Mart status = Successfully Trolled

Wrong!
I would *very much* like to see that as her Klassic Fatality.
Sure- it looked cheesy, but that was part of the charm for me.
I'd love to see them re-imagine that in 3D.
They could easily make it a lot bloodier while keeping it true to its roots.
Imagine it not as a sheet being inhaled, but a bloody towel being put through a wringer...

OMG I seriously GAGGED when I read MY girl's alternate costume is a WAL-MART exclusive.

I guess to make sure the little boys who buy from there have something to cover up her amazing outfit in front of their Mommy.

Considering how the Male Ninjas have their ugly MK1 hood and the MKII outfit design, the Females should have had AT LEAST the MKII hair and the MK3 outfit.


or maybe, unlike Jade, Mileena will get the ugly bathing suit back. XD

Ugly bathing suit? Lady, Katalin Zamiar rocked that shit and you'd be lucky to look half as good.

Unless you're one of those internet G.I.R.L.s in which case...

Ugly bathing suit? Dude, Katalin Zamiar rocked that shit and you'd be lucky to look half as good.

Awww, did I insult you that bad that you had to resort to personal attacks? Well too fucking bad loser, those outfits were tacky and ugly as fuck.

What's an "internet G.I.R.L."? I'm pretty sure it says male on my profile...

P.S. I'd rock that ugly ass bathing suit harder than that chick any day. xxxo

It's not a personal insult. Katalin Zamiar is one of the hottest women ever. ANYONE would be lucky to look half as good as her.

G.I.R.L. means "guy in real life".

I don't look at people's profiles.

Nightwolf says hi.

Katalin Zamiar is beautiful, but the bathing suit was not. It's just too simple. I also prefer the male ninja outfit from UMK3 as well. MK1 and MK2 are cool games, but the outfits in those games are indeed ugly.

Also Stryker, Sheeva, Shang Tsung, Sindel, Sektor, and Cyrax.

I loved Kitana's Balloon-head Kiss of Death fatality. XD I found it hillarious!

Yet another exclusive to factor into when, where, and what version I buy. They REALLY are going out of their way to make things difficult for me to buy their game.

At this point, I'm probably just gonna throw my hands up and go Amazon. Free shipping and lowest price sounds good to me, and it sounds like all these classic costumes will be available in some form anyway.

LOL Bezou, you're awesome. 47 ribcages, 12 legs... It's funny cuz it's tr... *Starts to cry*

Why do people like MK3 again?

If you want to see jokes and laugh at cartoon violence, go buy Beep Beep the RoadRunner or Tom & Jerry classics on DVD, but keep that crap out of MK plox.

Because Fatalities aren't everything, and the majority of them game was awesome.

I already eliminated Shang and Sindel. Sektor gets a pass, barely.

Ok, let's break it down again.

Stryker pulls out a taser and electrocutes the opponent, who does not burst into flame or explode into more limbs than an orgy between Shiva (note spelling) and the Man-Spider from Spider-man. Pass!

Stryker conjures a bomb from out of hammerspace, sets the timer and jumps about 12 feet away, dying horribly in the resulting explosion. Oh, that's what would've happened if he had actually done that. What actually happens is the opponent blood exploding into a mannequin factory's worth of superfluous limbs. FFFFAAAAAIIIIILLLLLL.

Stryker is eliminated.

Sheeva tears the skin off her opponent, leaving behind a meaty skeleton and a comically stupid looking jelly blob of skin with a giant gaping mouth. Pass, but I had to actively ignore the stupid to make that the case.

Sheeva pounds the opponent into the ground in a way that looks comically bad. Pass, because it's still better than a lot of them.

Sheeva manages to hang on, if only by comparison.

Cyrax spins his head around, turning his cyber dreadlocks into a helicopter blade. He flies into the air straight up offscreen. He flies straight down, slicing the opponent into more limbs than are in the Crazy 88's scene in Kill Bill. FAIL.

Cyrax sets his self destruct sequence, forfeiting the player's turn and resulting in a non-standard game over. Ok, not really, but that would've been better than an explosion resulting in an unprecedented 94 ribcages, 14 arms, 24 legs and about 1,834 miscellaneous bones. Good concept. Horrible execution. Fail.

Cyrax is eliminated.

Nightwolf calls down a beam of light that banishes his opponent to the astral plane. Pass!

Nightwolf uses his tomahawk and apparent mastery over the elements to electrocute the opponent. Pass!

Nightwolf hangs on, joining a very small elite group of people with 2 non-terrible Fatalities in MK3.

No, seriously... isn't this just awesome:



I love it. ^^
I do kinda miss the more humorous fatalities. I like that they are being alot more serious this time around, but I'd rather have some of these funny fatalities than a whole bunch of dismemberment ones that looks alike...

Why hello there sexy...

Scorpion has pupils.

Why does Scorpion have pupils?

Do the designers even talk to the animators?

The faster pace of the gameplay. The juxtaposition of Outworld-y stuff against urban environments. The suddenly maligned sense of humor. And of course, Kombat Kodes.