'Close My Eyes'

It all seems so long ago now that I look back from here,
I can't fathom how my life was consumed by my fear,
And it hurts me to think of the time that went by,
Wasted from the hurt but the blame is all mine,
At anytime at all I could've stopped the runaway train,
I was the one who drove myself insane,
And now that its time to get my life back together,
I finally see what it'll take to make things better,

I have to close my eyes and take a breath,
Let it go and pick up the pieces that I have left,

Examining the cold chill of my past existence leaves me numb,
I was so cruel, so dead, so apathetic to some,
I left a deadly silence in the air everywhere,
I walked alone, seemingly un affected, without a care,
Little did everyone know I was a dying little child inside,
Afraid, running fast, hoping to find some place to hide,
But now I have my feet steadied on the ground,
Never again will I let them tear me down,

Because I can close my eyes and take a breath,
Let it go, and pick up the pieces that I have left.

Not since life has moved so 'lento'**
I can get a girl hooked on me into
as I get in her, addict like endo
paranoia take over think she played like Nintendo
she like music, Im there, I fuck at a tempo
slow like its simple, or aggressive like kempo
protect and keep exact like I tend to
check mines I take yours exact like I fen' do
Your girl lust for me I aint tried to offend you
A cut for that night, now shes just a friend dude
If I could remember names then Id made me a list
wish I remember that girl I turned a contortionist
to the populous Im a street ricky martin
I can flirt my way out of a ticket for parkin
on a school bus loading zone in a handicap spot
that shit that Im on, my game is that hot
a bitch sure to moan, on the bottom or top
girl next door to R&B singer of pop(haha! u know who!)
and she know that Im poor I dont take her to shop
all I got are my words, stamina, body and cock
I'll burn a bit of dough baby girl I aint cheap
I'll pick her up at home take that sweet ass to eat
when I say I want some I aint gotta repeat
When I do get her home I expect her to beat
if she aint respect my petition I respect that decision
but if the bitch want it hard Imma give her a lesion
and Imma put it on her like her pussys in season
have her comin some more
let her know exactly what Im keepin her for
bed couch or carpet like Im sweepin the floor
Have her sayin 'oh God' like she speakin to Lord
the sex make her scream like Im using a sword

** (spanish)slow

"Tiger In The Night"

You are the tiger burning bright,
Deep in the forest of my night.
You are the one who keeps me strong in this world.

You sleep by the silent cooling streams,
Down in the darkness of my dreams.
All of my life I never knew,
You were the dream I'd see come true.
You are the tiger burning bright.

I was the one who looked so hard I could not see.
Now I could never live without the love you give to me.

I lived like a wild and lonely soul,
Lost in a dream beyond control.
You were the one who brought me home down to earth.

For you are the tiger burning bright,
Deep in the forest of my night.
All of my life I never knew,
You were the dream I'd see come true.
You are the tiger burning bright.

"Tears of Angels"
This night is terrible to behold.
This light shrinks under the cold.
Her smile shining through my window.
Denial covered beneath the snow,
And she doesn't know...
It's like a love-sick memory.
It's right there standing by me.
Her face fills this heart, so hungry;
This place consumes everything of me,
Please set me free...

Waiting for a chance to hold your head,
(my love)
You were nothing more to me instead
(enough)
There's nothing but tears upon this bed
(oh no)
I hear your call before the sound falls dead
(So slow)

My world falls to broken pieces.
This girl plagues me like diseases.
Her touch makes my heart stop beating;
My fears warrant a repeating,
My soul she's eating...
This life takes its hold upon me.
This strife has fallen here to wrong me.
Her kiss is vague within my memory.
My wish is nothing more to me,
Why can't I weep?...

Waiting for a chance to hold your head,
(my love)
You were nothing more to me instead
(enough)
There's nothing but tears upon this bed
(oh no)
I hear your call before the sound falls dead
(So slow)

I fell in love with you, and you're so dead inside.
I hear you call to me, and I long to run and hide.
Your screams echo within my ears,
I struggle against forgotten fears,
And then I'm off my bed and out the door,
Hearing your desperate, screaming implore,
And enter your room, to find you bleeding on the ground,
While that dark denizen is no where to be found.
And there's a boy, standing there before you.
You smile and reach out to him, pulling through;
"Did you find your mommy?" you say to him,
And then you sleep, and the air grows dim,
And that boy fades from the air, as never there,
And I hold your crimson form in my care.

Waiting for a chance to hold your head,
(my love)
You were nothing more to me instead
(enough)
There's nothing but tears upon this bed
(oh no)
I hear your call before the sound falls dead
(So slow)

Fatality.

ALIVE

I cannot ever find a way
to throw these darkened thoughts away
need a place to hide
its thrown in my face everyday
guess thats the price i have to pay
for whats inside my mind

a-live!

I am alive
I will never run away
places inside
my heart screams inside with pride
once I cried
now I wipe away the tears
once I died
now im alive

a-live!

little things tempt me everyday
lots of pain is how I like to play
better not cross that line
voices in my head have to be saved
its something I cant throw away
once they're inside my mind

I am alive
I will never run away
places inside
my heart screams inside with pride
once I cried
now I wipe away the tears
once I died
now I'm alive

I find my time
I'm in a twine
I'm falling in this place i thought i left behind
(feeling so alive)
alive!

I am alive
I will never run away
places inside
my heart screams inside with pride
once I cried
now I wipe away the tears
once I died
now Im alive

"Forgotten Fear"
This world is something other than natural,
Possessing something other than the actual,
And it fills me with a secret, hallow dread,
Taking me down a path of nightmares instead.
The colors of black and crimson mesh together,
Binding me in a shell of flesh forever;
And as I run these hands across the mirror,
As I listen softly, I can faintly hear her.

A dormant sleep of a depraved mind awakens,
Reaching out to the child who was forsaken.
Sleeping dreams of noble cause and epic death
Fills his blood and lungs with every shallow breath;
And that broken china doll with the pale face
Watches it all in that god-forsaken place,
Its painted black lips smiling in self-content,
While the requiem of angels still lament.

White roses watered with a crimson tear
Shadow the melancholy darkness here.
Phantom aspirations of forgotten lore
Dig in deep and then they cry out for more.
A stone garden of Medusa's past despair
Give eyes and ears to a pale girl weeping there.
Her forgotten fear has left its tainted trace,
And black rivers of paint flow down her white face.

And where is the sun upon these dim times?
It has vanished to leave men to die in their prime.
And that girl dwells within that forgotten realm,
Forever resting under a broken elm.
Part of me still belongs in that ageless place,
A wasted life with a bitter after-taste,
But part of me longs to return there some day,
And chase those forgotten fears of hers away.

Fatality.

"Pensive Passion"
Nodding off to the silence of a dream,
Bright beauty shakes awake, or so it seems,
And there fall rose pedals upon the ground
While a strong chest feels the heart within pound.
A look, a smile, and then it's all anew,
Born in salt water remembrance of you.

Ache for me. Take from me.
You have never forsaken me.
I'm not quite through. I feel it's true,
And everything is felt for you.
Close your eyes. Try and realize
The nature of my sweet compromise.
Falling away, I hold you today,
And kiss you with the words I couldn't say.

It was never meant to be so tragic,
And yet the love you gave me was magic.
I could never forget that face in clouds,
With that kind voice that was so sweet and proud.
Fall with me, and take a hold of my hand;
When the world falls apart, still we will stand.

Ache for me. Take from me.
You have never forsaken me.
I'm not quite through. I feel it's true,
And everything is felt for you.
Close your eyes. Try and realize
The nature of my sweet compromise.
Falling away, I hold you today,
And kiss you with the words I couldn't say.

And yet, I feel there is something I need;
There's a hole in me that still feeds.
Don't look away; I'm going to save you.
Have no fear; we are going to pull through.
And then we will find that happy release
In our own make-believe world of still peace.

Ache for me. Take from me.
You have never forsaken me.
I'm not quite through. I feel it's true,
And everything is felt for you.
Close your eyes. Try and realize
The nature of my sweet compromise.
Falling away, I hold you today,
And kiss you with the words I couldn't say.

Fatality.

Daydream in a Song

I see her
In that field of knee-high grass
Plains as far as the eye can see
Rolling hills and a castle in the distance
All glistening with a silver overtone
Even the sky

The sun hits all with a radiance
Not too bright
And not dark
The silver shines

I hear the light, wild wind
I feel the cool air on my face
I see it as it blows her hair around

I'm coming in the distance
I have my black horse with me

I greet her
She smiles as she pulls her hair away from her eyes
A smile wider than the endless plains themselves
And eyes that shine in that radiance

Come with me
Escape with me

That castle over there
I want to go there
but not yet

For now, let's just ride
Ride until forever

Let's feel like children again
And experience that joy that we lost
So long ago

It's still there
I feel it

All the world's worries disappear
When I feel this way

"Earth's End"
Under a sky so bright,
Shining with a diamond light,
A cool, subtle wind
Blows to the world's end,
And I stand on the brink
I can't help but think
That as I overlook the earth below
The love inside comes and goes.

Fade out and fade in,
This love burns beneath my skin
Fueling a hollow heart within
And taking me to the earth's end.

Eagles soar under my feet
While shaded suns repeat
Their cyclilic set and rise,
While candy clouds dot the skies.
And nature's gold could not see
The beauty of one so lovely,
And at the corner of the earth
I find in me a loving rebirth.

Fade out and fade in,
This love burns beneath my skin
Fueling a hollow heart within
And taking me to the earth's end.

Wrap me in a blanket of snow,
And warm me, though I do not know
The feelings you feel inside,
But just know that I confide
That I would travel a thousand miles
Just to glimpse that sacred smile,
And at the end of earth's alarms,
I long to hold you in my arms.

Fade out and fade in,
This love burns beneath my skin
Fueling a hollow heart within
And taking me to the earth's end.

Fatality.

"Stairs of Fire"
I stand upon stairs of fire,
The flames licking my skin.
The thoughts of a suicidal liar
Strikes a painful cord deep within.
A rusted knife in his hands;
And though I plead for its return
He hides it and can't understand,
So all I can do is slowly burn.

We met in the city's graveyard,
On the fog of forgotten sorrow.
He didn't know just how hard
It was for me to face tomorrow.
I wanted to find my mother,
Lost in that desolate place,
But fell in love with another,
But was too ashamed to show my face.

I remember how he beat me,
And that's why I ran away.
The wounds stung so deeply,
And I could barely live from yesterday.
That man saw me upon the floor
Holding a knife over my throat,
And under his soft implore,
I let him become my scaepgoat.

The insanity of my despair
Climaxed in that crimson room,
And the memories locked up there
Cast upon me a forsaken gloom.
And so I went to those stairs of fire,
Standing there in the heat,
With a journey I had grown to tire,
And eager now to accept defeat.

And there he was, standing there,
Offering me his hand once more.
I said to him, "Do you even care?
Could you love me, James? Or will you ignore
And save that knife to end your own health?"
And he to me, with a frail, fragile voice,
"I would never, ever kill myself."
Fair enough; that was his choice.

He looked to the ground, eyes downcast,
Saying softly, "It's hot as hell."
Then, in the crackle of flame, ages past;
I made my choice and climbed the stairwell,
Turning back to him one last time,
Saying, "For me, it's always like this."
And with that, I continued my climb,
While the flames gave me their understanding kiss.

And on and on I go,
Forever up those stairs of fire,
Till the light melts with shadow,
But not yet, so I climb higher;
The final flame covers my soul,
And my mother's voice speaks about,
Lasting only till my skin's charcoal
And these stairs of fire finally burn out.

"Thank you for saving me,
But I wish you hadn't.
You weren't like the rest;
You were so adamant.
But, please don't save me now,
Because I'm not worth it.
Let me end this myself;
It's the one thing I commit.
Sing to me that lonely song,
The one I used to sing
And hummed to all along,
Before the pain we'd bring,
And he will always be
The man I wanted to aspire,
And who could have loved me
Had I not climbed those stairs of fire."

Fatality.

'The One'

I know we've only been together for a short time,
But I cannot define time in my mind,
And I cannot comprehend the love I feel for you inside,
It fills me with such delight everytime I look into your eyes,
Words could never do our love justice,
For the first time its giving, understanding, real, and unselfish,
And I've never felt this way before you came to me,
Being with you makes me realize that I'm so very lucky,
You're one in a zillion, because a million isn't enough,
It could never possibly begin to describe your sweet love,

You fill me up with so much love and understanding,
A single word from you makes my heart stand and sing,
I've never felt more beautiful than when I'm with you,
I know breaking my heart is something you'll never do,
You'll hold it close for ever and ever,
You'll hold it as if it's the rarest of all treasures,
And I'll do the same for you through all eternity,
I'll be by your side to hold your hand, to make you smile, to make you see,
That together we can conquer the world if we wanted to,
And I wouldn't do it with anyone but you,

I can still remember the first time we made love,
The first time you told me 'I love you so much',
The very first time I felt your soft touch,
I can still remember the day we got into our first fight,
I was so mad at you, I didn't speak to you all night,
But the very next day, you made things right,
You always know exactly what to do,
And that's why I hope and pray with all my heart and soul,
That our unborn son, will be, just like you,

I've been through so much, and it feels good to have you,
To cry on, to lean on, to reach for when I feel like I can't pull through,
And I know whenever I call,
You'd be there to catch my fall,
With every bone in your body you'd be there,
And that's why I can't wait for us to move in together,
So we can share our lives and live,
For one another and give everything we have to give,
Having someone to come home to would be,
The best gift you could ever give me,

Waiting patiently for the day to come along,
When we'll be slow dancing to our song,
And you'll get down on one knee,
And ask to spend the rest of your life with me,
It flutters my heart anytime I visualize,
Being with you for the rest of my life,
Growing old together, taking the vow of forever,
Making our way past the thorns, and stormy weather,
And sometimes I wonder if you ever dream of things like this,
If it comes into your mind everytime we kiss,

And I can still remember the first time we made love,
The first time you told me 'I love you so much',
The very first time I felt your soft touch,
I can still remember the day we got into our first fight,
I was so mad at you, I didn't speak to you all night,
But the very next day, you made things right,
You always know exactly what to do,
And that's why I hope and pray with all my heart and soul,
That our unborn son, will be, just like you,

That night not so long ago when I made you cry,
A little piece of me died,
I never meant to hurt you like that baby,
And I want you to know that you're the only one for me,
I never want you to believe,
That one day I'll pack my things and leave,
My heart is yours, and yours alone,
And I will scream it at the top of my lungs,
To the entire world, that you are the one,

And I can still remember the first time we made love,
The first time you told me 'I love you so much',
The very first time I felt your soft touch,
I can still remember the day we got into our first fight,
I was so mad at you, I didn't speak to you all night,
But the very next day, you made things right,
You always know exactly what to do,
And that's why I hope and pray with all my heart and soul,
That our unborn son, will be, just like you.

GAWD! Girl, that's outrageously awesome! I'm speechless.

(Waste of time...)

"Final Farewell"
It's been a long while,
Through all the years
And all the tears
And all the fears.
I still remember that smile
That never disappears
And always appears
Full of good cheer.
I'll miss your touch
Light on my skin,
Burning deep within,
Cleansing my sin.
I love you so much,
And that'll never end
Despite the chagrin
Of how my life begins.

You're like a hope
(Deep inside my soul)
That helps me cope
(And makes me whole)
On down this slope
(That fills this hole)
Till the end of my rope
(At the heart that you stole).

You made me real,
Despite the pain
Like acid rain,
Driving me insane.
You made me feel,
And I could obtain
So much in your domain
Yet could never explain.
You are my world,
Having all my thoughts,
As is my lot
In this life that I bought.
You are my girl,
For you I fought;
I never forgot
The love that we wrought.

You're like a hope
(Deep inside my soul)
That helps me cope
(And makes me whole)
On down this slope
(That fills this hole)
Till the end of my rope
(At the heart that you stole).

And so I say good-bye,
Leaving you on your own,
But never leaving you alone,
So there's no need to groan.
I'll be back; don't you cry,
Because my heart's not stone,
And the love that you've shone
Is more than I've ever known.
So hold on to me tight,
Letting it all slip away,
And letting me say
That I'll love you past today.
I'll make it all alright,
And I could never betray
That angelic display
And will forever pray.

You're like a hope
(Deep inside my soul)
That helps me cope
(And makes me whole)
On down this slope
(That fills this hole)
Till the end of my rope
(At the heart that you stole).

This love will forever dwell
In the sanctity of your spell,
And will face all hell
To give you my final farewell.

Fatality.

This is I wrote about a girl I know very little of, but I would like to know better, I wanted to make it quite silly.

G.O.L.
Your name I have not heard,
Your face I have seen.
Your words I have read,
in some of the thread.

You use AIM,
wich I hate,
while I use msn.
Talk to a lot of people I do,
but never with you.

This is a silly poem,
so you understand
how silly I am.
Why so,
that I don't know.

Marched to my own drums, blew my own fife,
Never wrote so many poems, or place someone before my life
It came and it went with the speed of my sigh
all the time I, caught up in my beautiful lie

I spent all my time believeing
I dont even know why I cried,
Im hoping now all my sins are forgiven
for fallin so deep in my beautiful lie...

fell over and over I picked up my stride
I had other issues I put to the side
I sat, took it all and swallowed my pride
because of my stubborn but beautiful lie...

So I gave in and expected treason
Id rather man up than hide
maybe my lfie had ran out of reason
cuz all that I had was my beautiful lie...

So many things seen and lived through
wanting to get a pice of the pie
I followed my heart and I ditched proof
cuz I truly believed in my beautiful lie...

Wow, that was beautiful.

"Hallway Heartbreak"
I linger in your doorway,
Holding back a wave of regret.
All the things I long to say
I need to say before the sun sets.
And yet, there's still a fear,
A longing held deep inside,
That thought you are so near,
This love will forever be denied.

Why, oh, why does it have to be
That love is nothing short of misery?
Why can't I find it deep within me
To break these chains and fly away free?
Why does everything have to flee
From that ending, dreamed happily?
Why can't this light I see
As I hold a dream that is she?

I walk out onto the still streets,
Feeling a sense of loathing within.
The misery of love again repeats
Like the cancer of forgotten sin.
And I know I can no longer trust
That I will make it on my own,
Because my love has turned to dust,
And I find myself once again alone.

Why, oh, why does it have to be
That love is nothing short of misery?
Why can't I find it deep within me
To break these chains and fly away free?
Why does everything have to flee
From that ending, dreamed happily?
Why can't this light I see
As I hold a dream that is she?

In still blackness, I contemplate
Whether there is any organization
To my harsh and bitterly cruel fate
In that conceptual confrontation.
Or am I just a man gone blind,
Running about in the dark,
Searching for what I can't find
In the bottom of this broken heart?

Why, oh, why does it have to be
That love is nothing short of misery?
Why can't I find it deep within me
To break these chains and fly away free?
Why does everything have to flee
From that ending, dreamed happily?
Why can't this light I see
As I hold a dream that is she?

Forget it all and take your fall.
Love or unloved, heed the call.
You can't hesitate; don't you stall.
Feel it all bouncing off the wall.
This love is strong; it ain't small;
So stand up proud and stand up tall.
There's something here within these halls,
And though I walk away, I feel it all.

Dear one, I could never forsake,
Though I feel this hallway heartbreak.

Fatality.

"Flirt"
There you stand before me,
Pretending to ignore me.
And I reach out and you pull away,
Treating me like a fool today.
Your little game drives me insane,
And I would go as far as to ascertain
That in the end you'll see
There's so much more to me.

Happy huntings, you little flirt;
You should know your riddles hurt
And I can't help but slowly smile
During this tepid, lowly while
And you should know your dare
Will catch up with you and meet me there.

You lick your lips and plant a kiss
On a guy you would otherwise miss.
Casting a look my way with a sly grin,
It's enough to make an honest guy sin.
And yet I stand my ground and play the cards,
Making things difficult and making them hard.
But you like to flirt, so you don't give up
Because both of us haven't had enough.

Happy huntings, you little flirt;
You should know your riddles hurt
And I can't help but slowly smile
During this tepid, lowly while
And you should know your dare
Will catch up with you and meet me there.

You shake your head of hair at me,
While a string of sulty stares attack me.
I pretend it doesn't matter and taste my drink,
And you grow a littel desperate, or so I think.
Rising up, you walk my way with a slight wiggle
And sitting next to me, you give a light giggle,
Then whisper something in my ear,
And off we go till the dawn appears.

Happy huntings, you little flirt;
You should know your riddles hurt
And I can't help but slowly smile
During this tepid, lowly while
And you should know your dare
Will catch up with you and meet me there.

Fatality.

Edit: Oups... that is what happens when you got too much tabs on...

My Poem Goes like This

My poem goes lie this
for some it's like a fetish.
I write 'cause I like
what goes through my mind,
even with nothing inside.

My poem is not normal,
neither am I,
but at least I'm not the only one.

You hate my writing,
'cause it's got nothing inside.
I think it is inlightening
when you ain't high.

That was something I wrote like four years ago during Math class... damn...

After all the sweat I worked up enough nerve
no I cant think past a track
I want to caress every curve
become one through original sin in a pact
wants me as her man is a fact
but reason to express I do lack
Im tryin to keep my persona intact
kept around by a big enough impact
she thinks Im all talk
and that shes just being macked
would it fall to her surprise
if I told her sunsets
would not look as beautiful than off her eyes
that shes the only one
that when i saw her I decided she ahd to be mines
I cant let my affection pour
I know i dont love her
cuz I still put my pride before
Im selfish, arrogant, defiant, rude and ruthless
but if she leaves me then all of my words are useless
changin my mind is what Im tryin to allude
but if I can change hers then I can keep her fo good


Change of Heart... the part that hurts is that all this time I thought I had someone on my side... here I go...

I guess I never did believe that I was an issue
I was something you cry on, a disposable tissue
Now the only thing thats changin is you

I put my pride aside, revealing my darkest and deepest
for you id have stood by the hardest or steepest
now you cant even come up with a good enough pretext

I still got madd love for you and yours
still do anything with in my power of course
for you to change on me took just another source

yes, I consider your side choosing a loss
since I even humored you by joining your cause
you got enoughs of me, Im just another to toss

I said it all to you, the same it dont matter
you switched sides on me, my little mad hatter
Eventhough I came to you first, you still chose the latter...

I wanted you to be there and have you as a part
I might have overlooked of what you made an art,
I didnt change my mind, you changed your heart...

come what may...

(Waste of time...)

yeah thats a beautiful Nivea Song, next time give her her props...

(Waste of time...)

(Waste of time...)