I think that's good.
"The Reason I'm Back"
My heart, my own deception;
Too far to see what you can give;
The will to live.
I start to see my own misconception,
The scars show what I still relive;
Can you still forgive?
You're the reason I'm here,
The reason I linger by the door.
You're the reason I fear
That you'll treat me like before.
Oh, darling you're all I'll ever need;
You're everything I could hope for.
When you touch me, find that I still bleed;
You're the reason I keep coming back for more.
My eyes behold your splender,
Beauty that none could ever compare
Stays with me there.
I try to love you so tender;
In me lies a love I can hardly bear;
I was so unaware.
You're the reason I'm here,
The reason I linger by the door.
You're the reason I fear
That you'll treat me like before.
Oh, darling you're all I'll ever need;
You're everything I could hope for.
When you touch me, find that I still bleed;
You're the reason I keep coming back for more.
In the random of the night,
The moonlight fades to day.
It begs you to stay.
The dear ransom of delight
Begs me fight and to pray;
You'll be okay.
You're the reason I'm here,
The reason I linger by the door.
You're the reason I fear
That you'll treat me like before.
Oh, darling you're all I'll ever need;
You're everything I could hope for.
When you touch me, find that I still bleed;
You're the reason I keep coming back for more.
"The Reason I'm Back"
My heart, my own deception;
Too far to see what you can give;
The will to live.
I start to see my own misconception,
The scars show what I still relive;
Can you still forgive?
You're the reason I'm here,
The reason I linger by the door.
You're the reason I fear
That you'll treat me like before.
Oh, darling you're all I'll ever need;
You're everything I could hope for.
When you touch me, find that I still bleed;
You're the reason I keep coming back for more.
My eyes behold your splender,
Beauty that none could ever compare
Stays with me there.
I try to love you so tender;
In me lies a love I can hardly bear;
I was so unaware.
You're the reason I'm here,
The reason I linger by the door.
You're the reason I fear
That you'll treat me like before.
Oh, darling you're all I'll ever need;
You're everything I could hope for.
When you touch me, find that I still bleed;
You're the reason I keep coming back for more.
In the random of the night,
The moonlight fades to day.
It begs you to stay.
The dear ransom of delight
Begs me fight and to pray;
You'll be okay.
You're the reason I'm here,
The reason I linger by the door.
You're the reason I fear
That you'll treat me like before.
Oh, darling you're all I'll ever need;
You're everything I could hope for.
When you touch me, find that I still bleed;
You're the reason I keep coming back for more.
About Me
Hahahaha...?
0
Here's one I didn't get from my little notepads. I'm writing this right on the computer. It's about a girl.
Besides?
Who could believe that this had happened to me?
Sunday, thought it was just something normal
Then they asked you to come.
Then the rest is history.
I don't even know what depression is anymore.
I don't even know what sorrow is anymore.
All these days of oppression, you cleared in one night.
All of these songs I'm singing doesn't ring a bell for anybody
But you've been listening to these things before I did.
We've been scared by the same things, amused by the same things
All these things I learned in a few hours.
It's almost like looking at myself, duplicate.
A day I thought was gonna bore me
Well instead it was a blessing in disguise.
Who could believe that this had happened to me?
Besides?
Who could believe that this had happened to me?
Sunday, thought it was just something normal
Then they asked you to come.
Then the rest is history.
I don't even know what depression is anymore.
I don't even know what sorrow is anymore.
All these days of oppression, you cleared in one night.
All of these songs I'm singing doesn't ring a bell for anybody
But you've been listening to these things before I did.
We've been scared by the same things, amused by the same things
All these things I learned in a few hours.
It's almost like looking at myself, duplicate.
A day I thought was gonna bore me
Well instead it was a blessing in disguise.
Who could believe that this had happened to me?
"Down to Your Hell"
You know nothing about my world;
You're just a simple, young girl.
How can you pretend you know what I feel
When can't even known what's real?
You can't take this fact;
You'll always crawl back,
Always bitter and bare
Because I couldn't be there.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to the dirt and ground.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to your hell somehow.
You act like you'll make me pay
For leaving you behind that day.
But you made the choice not to follow
And you made your own heart hollow.
You can't take this fact;
You'll always crawl back,
Always bitter and bare
Because I couldn't be there.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to the dirt and ground.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to your hell somehow.
You know nothing about my world;
You're just a simple, young girl.
How can you pretend you know what I feel
When can't even known what's real?
You can't take this fact;
You'll always crawl back,
Always bitter and bare
Because I couldn't be there.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to the dirt and ground.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to your hell somehow.
You act like you'll make me pay
For leaving you behind that day.
But you made the choice not to follow
And you made your own heart hollow.
You can't take this fact;
You'll always crawl back,
Always bitter and bare
Because I couldn't be there.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to the dirt and ground.
You want to hate me,
You want to break me,
You want to take me
Down to your hell somehow.
About Me
0
i play bass, but in my last band i wrote as well
the theme here is war/shell shock
Days Of Sin Revisited
Memories circling my head
Smoldering life burned dead
Gunshots amid the air
Sounds of death echoed everywhere
The war behind my eyes
Seems it never dies
Trapped in trenches I lay slain
Stained in blood they lay maimed
Immobile in the days of sin
Fighting the battle within
Locked down with insanity
I’m hostage to the enemy
They’re trying to take over my mind
Everyday wake up on battlegrounds
Bodies piled in endless mounds
Overhead bullets fly
Blood of friends running dry
The battle in my soul
Has abandoned its control
Killed in war, they were blamed
Attacked with friend, no one remained
Stranded in the year of blood
Drowning it the violent flood
Longing for a war that’s won
A seldom thought heard by none
I can’t escape the screams
Haunted by everything I see
Need an exit from this reality
To a realm where war should not be
A time where I’m no longer a servant to society
No longer will I hide
Chiming bells mark my suicide
Welcome boy to your eternity
Who am I will be revealed in time
But now let us place judgment on your life
Was it all worth honor and social dignity?
Fore who see shellshock stripped you of your sanity
The wicked joke on you my friend
World war one was already at end
Don’t you worry your death was not in vain
For the victory was attained at the expense of your pain
the theme here is war/shell shock
Days Of Sin Revisited
Memories circling my head
Smoldering life burned dead
Gunshots amid the air
Sounds of death echoed everywhere
The war behind my eyes
Seems it never dies
Trapped in trenches I lay slain
Stained in blood they lay maimed
Immobile in the days of sin
Fighting the battle within
Locked down with insanity
I’m hostage to the enemy
They’re trying to take over my mind
Everyday wake up on battlegrounds
Bodies piled in endless mounds
Overhead bullets fly
Blood of friends running dry
The battle in my soul
Has abandoned its control
Killed in war, they were blamed
Attacked with friend, no one remained
Stranded in the year of blood
Drowning it the violent flood
Longing for a war that’s won
A seldom thought heard by none
I can’t escape the screams
Haunted by everything I see
Need an exit from this reality
To a realm where war should not be
A time where I’m no longer a servant to society
No longer will I hide
Chiming bells mark my suicide
Welcome boy to your eternity
Who am I will be revealed in time
But now let us place judgment on your life
Was it all worth honor and social dignity?
Fore who see shellshock stripped you of your sanity
The wicked joke on you my friend
World war one was already at end
Don’t you worry your death was not in vain
For the victory was attained at the expense of your pain
0
The Chaser:
"you hide inside truth, you often claim that its not you, but seriously you think their isn't the few that in realty really knew? your prey with a prize on you head, and just about everyone wants you dead. you try not to be suspicious, but you give yourself away whenever you vicious. sure you have no trail, but thats not where the clues are found, sure you don't talk much, but I don't look for sound. I carefully and methodically observe you, and slowly keep an eye out for you next move. you cover you tracks well, but I get inches closer on your tail. you can't run forever, no matter how many of you tactics fool the clever. I don't fall for games, and for your punishment you will pay, for while you might be the swift in nature, you can't be too swift for the Chaser."
"you hide inside truth, you often claim that its not you, but seriously you think their isn't the few that in realty really knew? your prey with a prize on you head, and just about everyone wants you dead. you try not to be suspicious, but you give yourself away whenever you vicious. sure you have no trail, but thats not where the clues are found, sure you don't talk much, but I don't look for sound. I carefully and methodically observe you, and slowly keep an eye out for you next move. you cover you tracks well, but I get inches closer on your tail. you can't run forever, no matter how many of you tactics fool the clever. I don't fall for games, and for your punishment you will pay, for while you might be the swift in nature, you can't be too swift for the Chaser."
0
My Demise
"I can't take it all, I'll just leap to my own fall. I'm a failure for life, there is no hope in site, I just won't ever get myself right. I'll just take the pain ,blow it away, I won't stay for a another minute today.. it will just end, no more, and I'm full of pain thats leaving me sore. I hate so badly my fate, I'll just contrate on opening the gate so I will be free from the pain I can see, so many things I can see inside of me. maybe off the cliff will do the trick, maybe a good slit will end all this, maybe a 44 can open the door, maybe snapping my neck will do the rest. either way, a passage off this cruel place and without pain, finally a resting place. well now I leave here, pain deep in me, to leave this place to rest peacefully. I bid farewell and good-bye cause you have just heard my demise."
"I can't take it all, I'll just leap to my own fall. I'm a failure for life, there is no hope in site, I just won't ever get myself right. I'll just take the pain ,blow it away, I won't stay for a another minute today.. it will just end, no more, and I'm full of pain thats leaving me sore. I hate so badly my fate, I'll just contrate on opening the gate so I will be free from the pain I can see, so many things I can see inside of me. maybe off the cliff will do the trick, maybe a good slit will end all this, maybe a 44 can open the door, maybe snapping my neck will do the rest. either way, a passage off this cruel place and without pain, finally a resting place. well now I leave here, pain deep in me, to leave this place to rest peacefully. I bid farewell and good-bye cause you have just heard my demise."
"Kerberos"
Distance sounds of soft demise,
The pain and hunger of the lies.
I hide behind a mask of steel,
Crimson hands that no longer feel.
Embrace the wolf and know its bite,
And watch it dart off in the night.
Beasts and beauty amidst the hell,
Tredding the ground where angels fell.
Dogs of war, no better than cattle,
Unable to relate after each grisly battle.
The people in photographs have faded,
And the homes they use to love are now hated.
It's hard to imagine the idolotress' ideal
Since the dreams she creates are far from real.
Are we better than that? Blood-thirsty ambition,
Watching innocence fade with the newest rendition.
What big ears you have. What big eyes you have,
What big claws you have, what big teeth you have.
Traverse the path of needles or path of pins;
Watch the blood that boils deep within.
Fervered glory to the pack, never stop or die,
And find the strength in corpses; bodies still lie.
Heaven help me; see the dark and fear its touch,
But the human soul can only bear so much.
Stripped of honor, cast asunder in the snow,
Watch the wolf slowly rise up and go.
He stands amongst the men of compromise,
But they never look him in his eyes.
Always the villain, the wolf meets his end,
Suffering still inside because he had sinned.
Shake the heavens, chill the blood, and kill it,
And never stop until they've had their fill of it.
We are not men disguised as mere dogs,
We are wolves disguised as men.
Distance sounds of soft demise,
The pain and hunger of the lies.
I hide behind a mask of steel,
Crimson hands that no longer feel.
Embrace the wolf and know its bite,
And watch it dart off in the night.
Beasts and beauty amidst the hell,
Tredding the ground where angels fell.
Dogs of war, no better than cattle,
Unable to relate after each grisly battle.
The people in photographs have faded,
And the homes they use to love are now hated.
It's hard to imagine the idolotress' ideal
Since the dreams she creates are far from real.
Are we better than that? Blood-thirsty ambition,
Watching innocence fade with the newest rendition.
What big ears you have. What big eyes you have,
What big claws you have, what big teeth you have.
Traverse the path of needles or path of pins;
Watch the blood that boils deep within.
Fervered glory to the pack, never stop or die,
And find the strength in corpses; bodies still lie.
Heaven help me; see the dark and fear its touch,
But the human soul can only bear so much.
Stripped of honor, cast asunder in the snow,
Watch the wolf slowly rise up and go.
He stands amongst the men of compromise,
But they never look him in his eyes.
Always the villain, the wolf meets his end,
Suffering still inside because he had sinned.
Shake the heavens, chill the blood, and kill it,
And never stop until they've had their fill of it.
We are not men disguised as mere dogs,
We are wolves disguised as men.
"Tide of Tears"
I tried so hard to be good to you,
Faced everything, did what I ought to,
Live a lie, bled and died,
And now I see what you put me through.
I just wanted to feel your skin,
To fill that space held deep within,
How I tried, and still I died,
Forever tainted by a heart that won't mend.
You and I could try;
Find the strength to survive;
Make me feel alive,
Make me feel inside.
I've come so far, yet died,
Never knowing why I cried.
All the pain that you gave to me,
All the tears that kept me free,
Still denied, though I died,
But I'll be complete eventually.
I'm so numb to your call,
Wonder if you'd catch my fall;
Try to hide, but still I died;
I wonder if you even cared at all.
You and I could try;
Find the strength to survive;
Make me feel alive,
Make me feel inside.
I've come so far, yet died,
Never knowing why I cried.
Nothing will ever be the same,
All we had is forever tame;
Faced the tide and I died,
Longing just to hear your name.
Scream for me! Dream of me!
Let me not be a lost memory!
And I cried, as you died,
Knowing I just lost the best part of me!
You and I could try;
Find the strength to survive;
Make me feel alive,
Make me feel inside.
I've come so far, yet died,
Never knowing why I cried.
I tried so hard to be good to you,
Faced everything, did what I ought to,
Live a lie, bled and died,
And now I see what you put me through.
I just wanted to feel your skin,
To fill that space held deep within,
How I tried, and still I died,
Forever tainted by a heart that won't mend.
You and I could try;
Find the strength to survive;
Make me feel alive,
Make me feel inside.
I've come so far, yet died,
Never knowing why I cried.
All the pain that you gave to me,
All the tears that kept me free,
Still denied, though I died,
But I'll be complete eventually.
I'm so numb to your call,
Wonder if you'd catch my fall;
Try to hide, but still I died;
I wonder if you even cared at all.
You and I could try;
Find the strength to survive;
Make me feel alive,
Make me feel inside.
I've come so far, yet died,
Never knowing why I cried.
Nothing will ever be the same,
All we had is forever tame;
Faced the tide and I died,
Longing just to hear your name.
Scream for me! Dream of me!
Let me not be a lost memory!
And I cried, as you died,
Knowing I just lost the best part of me!
You and I could try;
Find the strength to survive;
Make me feel alive,
Make me feel inside.
I've come so far, yet died,
Never knowing why I cried.
About Me
<img src="http://ll.tattoojohnny.com/images/designs/PSF-00023/PSF-00023_thumb.jpg"
0
Life
Life is the new game out on the store that everyone wants to play. Man I am so excited! My friends are going to get it on PS2 & then we'll play it saturday.
Saturday...
I don't know where I am now but I can see that I am a bit small & I have been greeted by many people & I seem to have blood all over me. I heard some one call me Kassiopia but I don't mind because hey it's a rad name.
2yrs...
Okay now everything is wierd, I don't know where I am nor do I know what form I am in could it be that I am a child? I don't know this is differnent. Maybe I am in the game that I was playing a while ago, that or I fell asleep, what ever it is I wish that it'll end.
8yrs...
I am in the game it is so wierd I am now a little squirt with no body shape. What happened to me? Am I being punished? I don't quite know but I hope that my curse is soon lifted so I can be what I was before. I want to go home now this life is gone to fast, I want to take this game back.
12yrs...
Man I am so cool I am in the 7 grade &....aww who am I kidding I am just some pathedic little brat who wears mens clothing because she thinks she is so cool. I hate this body I wish to go back to where I was, this freaking game is absorbing me in it! Dammit I wish to go home but I can't help but see what's around the bend.
13yrs...
I feel so stupid! I can't do anything right, I don't have breast man I don't have anything. My self esteem is shot down & I don't even want to think about what my friends are doing right now. I know it was them, my friends made me play the game first & I am losing now. I wish I would have said no.
14yrs...
Ohh my gosh my friends! They were here the entire time & I didn't even knonw they followed me in. I have such low self esteem & I don't think that I can be saved, mens clothing & all. Guys I need help but wait a minute I can't talk to them, my voice is gone! It was taken away when I game in to this horrible game.
15(present)...
Amazing what a summer will to you....wait I reconize something, oh my god I am home! I can see my family my dog & my friends again! Hey I have my old breast back again! The game let me go see if it's turned off...wait the PS2 has mortal kombat deception in it. Was that a dream I had or was it... wait I understand, life is a game & every age you grow you get extra points. You only have one life so try to aviod as many death traps as possible. I was only dreaming.
Life is the new game out on the store that everyone wants to play. Man I am so excited! My friends are going to get it on PS2 & then we'll play it saturday.
Saturday...
I don't know where I am now but I can see that I am a bit small & I have been greeted by many people & I seem to have blood all over me. I heard some one call me Kassiopia but I don't mind because hey it's a rad name.
2yrs...
Okay now everything is wierd, I don't know where I am nor do I know what form I am in could it be that I am a child? I don't know this is differnent. Maybe I am in the game that I was playing a while ago, that or I fell asleep, what ever it is I wish that it'll end.
8yrs...
I am in the game it is so wierd I am now a little squirt with no body shape. What happened to me? Am I being punished? I don't quite know but I hope that my curse is soon lifted so I can be what I was before. I want to go home now this life is gone to fast, I want to take this game back.
12yrs...
Man I am so cool I am in the 7 grade &....aww who am I kidding I am just some pathedic little brat who wears mens clothing because she thinks she is so cool. I hate this body I wish to go back to where I was, this freaking game is absorbing me in it! Dammit I wish to go home but I can't help but see what's around the bend.
13yrs...
I feel so stupid! I can't do anything right, I don't have breast man I don't have anything. My self esteem is shot down & I don't even want to think about what my friends are doing right now. I know it was them, my friends made me play the game first & I am losing now. I wish I would have said no.
14yrs...
Ohh my gosh my friends! They were here the entire time & I didn't even knonw they followed me in. I have such low self esteem & I don't think that I can be saved, mens clothing & all. Guys I need help but wait a minute I can't talk to them, my voice is gone! It was taken away when I game in to this horrible game.
15(present)...
Amazing what a summer will to you....wait I reconize something, oh my god I am home! I can see my family my dog & my friends again! Hey I have my old breast back again! The game let me go see if it's turned off...wait the PS2 has mortal kombat deception in it. Was that a dream I had or was it... wait I understand, life is a game & every age you grow you get extra points. You only have one life so try to aviod as many death traps as possible. I was only dreaming.
"Another Heartbreak"
Why couldn't you see me?
Why couldn't you give me a chance?
Lost, forever, for eternity,
Left with a memory of one golden dance.
Beautiful angel, you're no more,
Beyond my grasp, just in the past,
Left with the tears I pour,
And broken dreams that cannot last.
All for nothing; broken and alone,
Again, I've fallen so far from grace,
With sins still left to repent and atone,
And the clouded dreams of your beautiful face.
Damn my pride, I was too weak,
I wasn't strong enough to win your heart,
Strong enough to even speak,
And now I'm left alone in the dark.
He'd better be a better man than I,
Because all that I've done was for naught,
And though I bleed, I cannot cry,
Because that's how I was raised, what I was taught.
To bottle up all the rage, all the pain,
And try and find a way to express my mind;
A lot of good that did; in my disdain
I lost myself in that soul that I could never find.
Nothing for something, blood and tears,
Face the past and future without fear,
Know that you'll always be near
Because, even though you never appear,
You're the reason that I'm still here;
The only one that I held dear.
Why couldn't you see me?
Why couldn't you give me a chance?
Lost, forever, for eternity,
Left with a memory of one golden dance.
Beautiful angel, you're no more,
Beyond my grasp, just in the past,
Left with the tears I pour,
And broken dreams that cannot last.
All for nothing; broken and alone,
Again, I've fallen so far from grace,
With sins still left to repent and atone,
And the clouded dreams of your beautiful face.
Damn my pride, I was too weak,
I wasn't strong enough to win your heart,
Strong enough to even speak,
And now I'm left alone in the dark.
He'd better be a better man than I,
Because all that I've done was for naught,
And though I bleed, I cannot cry,
Because that's how I was raised, what I was taught.
To bottle up all the rage, all the pain,
And try and find a way to express my mind;
A lot of good that did; in my disdain
I lost myself in that soul that I could never find.
Nothing for something, blood and tears,
Face the past and future without fear,
Know that you'll always be near
Because, even though you never appear,
You're the reason that I'm still here;
The only one that I held dear.
0
The Killzone
"welcome to the death bed, where everyone is trying hunt you down for your head. you are the target, no time to part it, the fight for your life has now just started. war is all over the front pages, depicting the dead with holes blazed from 12 gauges, its amazin how far so many have got, but yet time's about to run out on their clock. the enemy's in sight, packed with 600 rounds, ready to blaze anyone in the area, shooting anyone down. lasers pointed at attack formations, then all kinds fire is released for the duration, of the battle that takes place in the dry sunny side, with millions wounded with the hundreds that have already died and those who survived. the infintry busts through the first defince lines, then fires away, at the first enemy spot thats seen during the day. then the night raids destroying most of the enemy outposts, then comes in the solders invading the tattered supplies at most. the following day after, the battle begins with the first attacker, then comes the stronghold the minute after, making another strong stand, trying once again to defend the land. the war continues, the battle ensues, and its just beginning now with you. you witness lives lost, and freedom with a severe cost. you see how its done, now your on your own , sincerly good luck and welcome to the killzone."
"welcome to the death bed, where everyone is trying hunt you down for your head. you are the target, no time to part it, the fight for your life has now just started. war is all over the front pages, depicting the dead with holes blazed from 12 gauges, its amazin how far so many have got, but yet time's about to run out on their clock. the enemy's in sight, packed with 600 rounds, ready to blaze anyone in the area, shooting anyone down. lasers pointed at attack formations, then all kinds fire is released for the duration, of the battle that takes place in the dry sunny side, with millions wounded with the hundreds that have already died and those who survived. the infintry busts through the first defince lines, then fires away, at the first enemy spot thats seen during the day. then the night raids destroying most of the enemy outposts, then comes in the solders invading the tattered supplies at most. the following day after, the battle begins with the first attacker, then comes the stronghold the minute after, making another strong stand, trying once again to defend the land. the war continues, the battle ensues, and its just beginning now with you. you witness lives lost, and freedom with a severe cost. you see how its done, now your on your own , sincerly good luck and welcome to the killzone."
0
The Killzone
"welcome to the death bed, where everyone is out hunting for your head. your the target, no time to part from it, the fight for your life has just started. war is all over the front pages, depicted the dead with holes from 12 gauges. the enemy's in sight, packed with 600 rounds, ready and loaded to take anyone down. lasers pointing at attack formations, then release all kinds of fire for the duration, of the battle on the sunny side, with millions wounded and hundreds more that died with some that survived. then the infintry and battlion bust through the first line, then fire away at the resistance every single time. then the night raids, taking out half the positions, then soldiers advance forward, with their new aquisitions. the next day the battle begins from the enemy with the first aerial attack, then the responding is already to fire right back. you've witnessed lost of live, and the freedom with a heavy price. you know how it goes, now your on your own, sincerly good luck and welcome to the kill zone."
"welcome to the death bed, where everyone is out hunting for your head. your the target, no time to part from it, the fight for your life has just started. war is all over the front pages, depicted the dead with holes from 12 gauges. the enemy's in sight, packed with 600 rounds, ready and loaded to take anyone down. lasers pointing at attack formations, then release all kinds of fire for the duration, of the battle on the sunny side, with millions wounded and hundreds more that died with some that survived. then the infintry and battlion bust through the first line, then fire away at the resistance every single time. then the night raids, taking out half the positions, then soldiers advance forward, with their new aquisitions. the next day the battle begins from the enemy with the first aerial attack, then the responding is already to fire right back. you've witnessed lost of live, and the freedom with a heavy price. you know how it goes, now your on your own, sincerly good luck and welcome to the kill zone."
0
'Starting Today'
Starting today
I'm not gonna waste another moment
Even if I had had the chance before
I would have blown it
But you took me by surprise
And you caught me just in time
Everyday
You give me reason not to walk away
I'll stop believing that the world's gone crazy
And if it is you'll save me
Starting Today
I'm not gonna worry about tomorrow
I'll wash away
All this fear that's left me feeling hollow
'Cause you make me wanna try
And you caught me just in time
Everyday
You give me reason not to walk away
I've stopped believing
I should run like crazy
'Cause if I did you'd chase me anyway
I should've told you so many times
But I shied away
Somehow you always seem to
Be there making it easy
And you give me reason to stay everyday
Ooh everyday, everyday
I've stopped believing
I should run like crazy
'Cause if I did you'd chase me anyway
You give me reason not to walk away
I've stopped believing
That the world's gone crazy
And if it is you'll save me
Starting today
I'm not gonna waste another moment.
Lyrics by: Natalie Imbruglia
Starting today
I'm not gonna waste another moment
Even if I had had the chance before
I would have blown it
But you took me by surprise
And you caught me just in time
Everyday
You give me reason not to walk away
I'll stop believing that the world's gone crazy
And if it is you'll save me
Starting Today
I'm not gonna worry about tomorrow
I'll wash away
All this fear that's left me feeling hollow
'Cause you make me wanna try
And you caught me just in time
Everyday
You give me reason not to walk away
I've stopped believing
I should run like crazy
'Cause if I did you'd chase me anyway
I should've told you so many times
But I shied away
Somehow you always seem to
Be there making it easy
And you give me reason to stay everyday
Ooh everyday, everyday
I've stopped believing
I should run like crazy
'Cause if I did you'd chase me anyway
You give me reason not to walk away
I've stopped believing
That the world's gone crazy
And if it is you'll save me
Starting today
I'm not gonna waste another moment.
Lyrics by: Natalie Imbruglia
About Me
Hahahaha...?
0
Pink_Ranger Wrote:
'Starting Today'
'Starting Today'
You already posted that two pages ago.
Anyway, here's an improv song I recorded about my birthday. Since it's improv, the lyrics are, admittedly, not that great or anything, but I'll post another one up later.
ICING ON THE CAKE
"Ahhhem!"
You know, my birthday's not that far away.
It's only like, uhhh, a couple of weeks away?
Hmmmm.....
I don't know what I'm gonna get for my birthday.
Maybe I'll think.....
You know, I'm still the loser that...you know...like...
Plays his old....uhhhhmmm.....old CD's and stuff.
I want to get new old CD's, that'd be awesome.
And ummm....
And maybe umm....
A game or something?
Yeah, that'd be cool.
I can't wait to bring everybody to the party there.
Rich, Tony, and ummm....a whole bunch of other people that are cool.
I hope we get to do Tommy Radio again.
Oh yeah, and Dude should be allowed downstairs for the party.
Yeah!
About Me
Hahahaha...?
0
Okay, here's some better ones.
JESUS IN A RAINCOAT
I don't know the answer to the question
Apparently because I have to find them myself or something.
I thought I had everything I need
Everything I could do.
What am I breaking my back for?
What about the time for rest?
Won't you get it?
"The thing is I have a congested head, stuffy nose and all that but I'm still working. What's that? I mean, that's just... unfair!"
Still you push me into the room.
Cram a pill in my mouth, sickness gone
You're not so sure though, but off I go
A pencil case in one hand and a barf bag in the other.
"Blah blah blah, aah oww, blah blah blah, bleh bleh..."
STRANGE ATMOSPHERE
What am I trying to prove?
Loyalty to someone, stay miles away?
Listening to some song, but something's not right.
Maybe because I've listened to it again.....
And again and again and again and again and again --
Pushing all of the terror away.
Still something's glaring like it's obvious.
I felt something's wrong with my day.
What, my troubles have gone already.
When will....
You know.....
When will they come along?
Especially to ones, of extreme importance?
Can't. Don't want it, anymore.
Just give me my headphones....
(some muffled gibberish will be in here when this is recorded)
JESUS IN A RAINCOAT
I don't know the answer to the question
Apparently because I have to find them myself or something.
I thought I had everything I need
Everything I could do.
What am I breaking my back for?
What about the time for rest?
Won't you get it?
"The thing is I have a congested head, stuffy nose and all that but I'm still working. What's that? I mean, that's just... unfair!"
Still you push me into the room.
Cram a pill in my mouth, sickness gone
You're not so sure though, but off I go
A pencil case in one hand and a barf bag in the other.
"Blah blah blah, aah oww, blah blah blah, bleh bleh..."
STRANGE ATMOSPHERE
What am I trying to prove?
Loyalty to someone, stay miles away?
Listening to some song, but something's not right.
Maybe because I've listened to it again.....
And again and again and again and again and again --
Pushing all of the terror away.
Still something's glaring like it's obvious.
I felt something's wrong with my day.
What, my troubles have gone already.
When will....
You know.....
When will they come along?
Especially to ones, of extreme importance?
Can't. Don't want it, anymore.
Just give me my headphones....
(some muffled gibberish will be in here when this is recorded)
"Child of Discord"
Manic mother,
Disowned daughter;
She didn't love her,
As you taught her.
Broken brother,
Fearsome father,
Loved no other
When you caught her.
Like a child in the dark,
I laid down my head to sleep,
While the beating in my heart
Tells me my soul is mine to keep.
And another
Didn't bother,
Like her mother,
She still sought her.
The voice smothered,
Now has brought her
To her brother
Who never forgot her.
Like a child in the night,
I hid away from the unknown,
Waiting still for the bright light
To show me that I'm not alone.
Manic mother,
Disowned daughter;
She didn't love her,
As you taught her.
Broken brother,
Fearsome father,
Loved no other
When you caught her.
Like a child in the dark,
I laid down my head to sleep,
While the beating in my heart
Tells me my soul is mine to keep.
And another
Didn't bother,
Like her mother,
She still sought her.
The voice smothered,
Now has brought her
To her brother
Who never forgot her.
Like a child in the night,
I hid away from the unknown,
Waiting still for the bright light
To show me that I'm not alone.
"Needs and Confession"
Everything about you blows my mind.
Darling girl, you're a gem few could find.
In all my life, all my resolve and ambition
Could not come up with a worthy definition
Of what my strong heart feels for you,
The angel that picked me up and loved me true.
I have a confession
And I will concede;
You're my great obession,
You're why I still bleed.
My only expression
Could never succeed
To answer my question;
You're all that I need.
From the color of your lips to your hair,
Everything about you draws my care.
A lady of taste and of passionate desire,
How could I ever hope to quench that fire?
And yet, beyond my mortal cries,
I find immortal strength in your beautiful eyes.
I have a confession
And I will concede;
You're my great obession,
You're why I still bleed.
My only expression
Could never succeed
To answer my question;
You're all that I need.
Dear one, never forget, never betray your heart.
I will help you, love you, and hold in the dark.
Find the truth and seek the light,
And never, ever give up the fight.
I will be your path, be your resolve, pull you through,
And do it all because I still love you.
I have a confession
And I will concede;
You're my great obession,
You're why I still bleed.
My only expression
Could never succeed
To answer my question;
You're all that I need.
.
Everything about you blows my mind.
Darling girl, you're a gem few could find.
In all my life, all my resolve and ambition
Could not come up with a worthy definition
Of what my strong heart feels for you,
The angel that picked me up and loved me true.
I have a confession
And I will concede;
You're my great obession,
You're why I still bleed.
My only expression
Could never succeed
To answer my question;
You're all that I need.
From the color of your lips to your hair,
Everything about you draws my care.
A lady of taste and of passionate desire,
How could I ever hope to quench that fire?
And yet, beyond my mortal cries,
I find immortal strength in your beautiful eyes.
I have a confession
And I will concede;
You're my great obession,
You're why I still bleed.
My only expression
Could never succeed
To answer my question;
You're all that I need.
Dear one, never forget, never betray your heart.
I will help you, love you, and hold in the dark.
Find the truth and seek the light,
And never, ever give up the fight.
I will be your path, be your resolve, pull you through,
And do it all because I still love you.
I have a confession
And I will concede;
You're my great obession,
You're why I still bleed.
My only expression
Could never succeed
To answer my question;
You're all that I need.
.
"All I Have Left"
Breathe into me and set me free,
Bleeding over and over just to escape the pain,
Knowing nothing but insanity,
While my lungs fill with the torrent waters of the rain.
Breath and blood, bone and brawn,
Fragile existence contrasted against my will.
Still I fight and still I struggle on,
Knowing nothing but how to feel and kill.
Take this life and offer up your only choice.
Give the light hell and forsake the eternal dark.
As I scream aloud, I remember your soft voice,
And the warmth I had with that voice in my heart.
Darkness eternal, unceasing night,
I struggle on and on until I can touch her face,
And so I will never give up the fight
As long as I have somewhere to go to, someplace.
I feel the tender brush of angel's wings,
And I see the sky turn to the color of blood red.
I feel a mix of love and hate, among other things,
As I wander between the state of staying alive or dead.
My heart pounds, and my blood pours;
The vision of something I had long forgotten,
Knowing that the memory will still endure
Even if the soul within it has turned so rotten.
The imagination of a dark mind
Fuels the motivation to seek the right path,
And while I battle these dark designs,
I know that in the end I'll have the last laugh.
Forsake me not and break me not,
And know that I'll stay with you til the end.
Know that I loved you as I ought,
And all I have left is you and my honor to defend.
Breathe into me and set me free,
Bleeding over and over just to escape the pain,
Knowing nothing but insanity,
While my lungs fill with the torrent waters of the rain.
Breath and blood, bone and brawn,
Fragile existence contrasted against my will.
Still I fight and still I struggle on,
Knowing nothing but how to feel and kill.
Take this life and offer up your only choice.
Give the light hell and forsake the eternal dark.
As I scream aloud, I remember your soft voice,
And the warmth I had with that voice in my heart.
Darkness eternal, unceasing night,
I struggle on and on until I can touch her face,
And so I will never give up the fight
As long as I have somewhere to go to, someplace.
I feel the tender brush of angel's wings,
And I see the sky turn to the color of blood red.
I feel a mix of love and hate, among other things,
As I wander between the state of staying alive or dead.
My heart pounds, and my blood pours;
The vision of something I had long forgotten,
Knowing that the memory will still endure
Even if the soul within it has turned so rotten.
The imagination of a dark mind
Fuels the motivation to seek the right path,
And while I battle these dark designs,
I know that in the end I'll have the last laugh.
Forsake me not and break me not,
And know that I'll stay with you til the end.
Know that I loved you as I ought,
And all I have left is you and my honor to defend.
"Years Gone"
(When I see your face against the dark,
I feel a stirring deep within my heart.
Wounds of a thousands years,
All forgotten by your tears.)
When I see you across the street,
I stop in wonder as my heart beats;
My voice is dry, my mind is numb,
And I know whatever I say will be dumb.
And so you walk by without a hello,
And I wonder how I had fallen so low.
I just want to be loved, to be sought,
To known that it was worth the suff'ring I bought.
Was it worth it to wait throughout the years,
To face the future still full of fears?
I just wanted someone to call my own
Because I was afraid to wake up alone.
As you pass me in the hall, I wonder
About the years lost as time went under.
What would have happened if I had stepped up
And made you see I existed; would it be enough?
Invisible, forgotten, looked back on in regret,
I know that future exists, and I'll find it yet.
I just want to be loved, to be sought,
To known that it was worth the suff'ring I bought.
Was it worth it to wait throughout the years,
To face the future still full of fears?
I just wanted someone to call my own
Because I was afraid to wake up alone.
(When I see your face against the dark,
I feel a stirring deep within my heart.
Wounds of a thousands years,
All forgotten by your tears.)
(When I see your face against the dark,
I feel a stirring deep within my heart.
Wounds of a thousands years,
All forgotten by your tears.)
When I see you across the street,
I stop in wonder as my heart beats;
My voice is dry, my mind is numb,
And I know whatever I say will be dumb.
And so you walk by without a hello,
And I wonder how I had fallen so low.
I just want to be loved, to be sought,
To known that it was worth the suff'ring I bought.
Was it worth it to wait throughout the years,
To face the future still full of fears?
I just wanted someone to call my own
Because I was afraid to wake up alone.
As you pass me in the hall, I wonder
About the years lost as time went under.
What would have happened if I had stepped up
And made you see I existed; would it be enough?
Invisible, forgotten, looked back on in regret,
I know that future exists, and I'll find it yet.
I just want to be loved, to be sought,
To known that it was worth the suff'ring I bought.
Was it worth it to wait throughout the years,
To face the future still full of fears?
I just wanted someone to call my own
Because I was afraid to wake up alone.
(When I see your face against the dark,
I feel a stirring deep within my heart.
Wounds of a thousands years,
All forgotten by your tears.)
0
Tainted
"she's filled with hatrid, the most of any kind, there is no doubt that anger fills her mind. she was a sweet beauty full of gold, now a snarling monster with a poisoned soul.someone has sabotaged her to no return, now she's filled with a fury that brightly burns. that person has struck herin a impactful way, now that its here, it just might be his unlucky day. he's a dark soul that no one knows about, but has caused damaged in a huge amount. he's solely responsible for this outcome, feeling he had to get back at someone. the heartless bastard was me, I'm the one thats guilty. its my fault her anger is anxious, I'm the reason that with malice she was tainted."
"she's filled with hatrid, the most of any kind, there is no doubt that anger fills her mind. she was a sweet beauty full of gold, now a snarling monster with a poisoned soul.someone has sabotaged her to no return, now she's filled with a fury that brightly burns. that person has struck herin a impactful way, now that its here, it just might be his unlucky day. he's a dark soul that no one knows about, but has caused damaged in a huge amount. he's solely responsible for this outcome, feeling he had to get back at someone. the heartless bastard was me, I'm the one thats guilty. its my fault her anger is anxious, I'm the reason that with malice she was tainted."
About Me
0
'Stay'
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
Can't sleep tonight,
The satin sheets just aren't the same,
Unless I'm wrapped in your arms, so tight,
(So warm that I go up in flames)
Don't got no friends to call,
I've lost it all,
And I'll never be okay,
Because you didn't stay,
You didn't stay to wash away the tainted dreams,
That have become my reality,
You didn't stay to push away the pain,
That broke my heart over and over again,
You didn't stay to dry my tears,
You didn't stay to confront my fears,
You didn't stay to be with me throughout our years,
And if I could do it all over again,
I'd still say, "stay",
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
Ok so maybe you weren't the best for me,
But you promised me for eternity,
And that's not something that should be broken,
(Yet it's shattered like my heart)
I can't get our first kiss out of my mind,
Just look at what you've left behind,
Now I see, that I was blind,
You didn't stay to wash away the tainted dreams,
That have become my reality,
You didn't stay to push away the pain,
That broke my heart over and over again,
You didn't stay to dry my tears,
You didn't stay to confront my fears,
You didn't stay to be with me throughout our years,
And if I could do it all over again,
I'd still say, "stay",
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
All I need is you for all time, baby,
I need you to be mine,
Because I can't stand the sight,
Of you falling for someone else,
I can't fathom you,
Holding them all night,
I know it's not right, but it's what's true,
You broke my heart,
But I'm still so madly in love with you,
You didn't stay to wash away the tainted dreams,
That have become my reality,
You didn't stay to push away the pain,
That broke my heart over and over again,
You didn't stay to dry my tears,
You didn't stay to confront my fears,
You didn't stay to be with me throughout our years,
And if I could do it all over again,
I'd still say, stay,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
Stay, stay, stay,
Stay with me forever baby.
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
Can't sleep tonight,
The satin sheets just aren't the same,
Unless I'm wrapped in your arms, so tight,
(So warm that I go up in flames)
Don't got no friends to call,
I've lost it all,
And I'll never be okay,
Because you didn't stay,
You didn't stay to wash away the tainted dreams,
That have become my reality,
You didn't stay to push away the pain,
That broke my heart over and over again,
You didn't stay to dry my tears,
You didn't stay to confront my fears,
You didn't stay to be with me throughout our years,
And if I could do it all over again,
I'd still say, "stay",
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
Ok so maybe you weren't the best for me,
But you promised me for eternity,
And that's not something that should be broken,
(Yet it's shattered like my heart)
I can't get our first kiss out of my mind,
Just look at what you've left behind,
Now I see, that I was blind,
You didn't stay to wash away the tainted dreams,
That have become my reality,
You didn't stay to push away the pain,
That broke my heart over and over again,
You didn't stay to dry my tears,
You didn't stay to confront my fears,
You didn't stay to be with me throughout our years,
And if I could do it all over again,
I'd still say, "stay",
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
All I need is you for all time, baby,
I need you to be mine,
Because I can't stand the sight,
Of you falling for someone else,
I can't fathom you,
Holding them all night,
I know it's not right, but it's what's true,
You broke my heart,
But I'm still so madly in love with you,
You didn't stay to wash away the tainted dreams,
That have become my reality,
You didn't stay to push away the pain,
That broke my heart over and over again,
You didn't stay to dry my tears,
You didn't stay to confront my fears,
You didn't stay to be with me throughout our years,
And if I could do it all over again,
I'd still say, stay,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with my me baby,
Stay,
Stay,
Stay-ay-ay-ay with me forever,
Stay, stay, stay,
Stay with me forever baby.
Through darkened streets and blackened gloom
the candles dim in your bedroom
rain reflecting shadows in the night
the moon is full and through the mist
I hear your voice I feel your kiss
the line grows thin between what's wrong and right.
Burning flesh, pale as the stars
no one knows just who you are
drive the knife in deeper to my soul
velvet touch your mouth on mine
drunk on lust like drunk on wine
the world will end we'll hear the thunder roll.
Don't even say it
don't even look away
haunted by
haunted by
black winged angel come to me
release my soul from this misery.
In the candle light you'll see
just what all this means to me
the line grows thin between what's wrong and right.
Make of it what you will.
the candles dim in your bedroom
rain reflecting shadows in the night
the moon is full and through the mist
I hear your voice I feel your kiss
the line grows thin between what's wrong and right.
Burning flesh, pale as the stars
no one knows just who you are
drive the knife in deeper to my soul
velvet touch your mouth on mine
drunk on lust like drunk on wine
the world will end we'll hear the thunder roll.
Don't even say it
don't even look away
haunted by
haunted by
black winged angel come to me
release my soul from this misery.
In the candle light you'll see
just what all this means to me
the line grows thin between what's wrong and right.
Make of it what you will.
Andrea! It's so nice to see your stuff! It's nice to see some diversity here again, too.
"Our Home"
I've been holding on for so long
That I know now that it could not be wrong.
My life and all that's in it
Is the difference of my heart.
The reflection of my past endeavors
Flash before me as your love forever
Beckons me deep within it,
With the answers in the dark.
Cry to me; confide that love is all that matters.
Lie for me; I lied to see the mirror shattered.
Try for me; abide in the home we shared.
Die with me; a lifetime we'll spend there.
Make believe and watch the sky go by;
Grasp my hand and we'll touch the sky.
My will and all my memories
Drive me to forever roam.
Our lives together spent in eternal bliss,
Knowing nothing better than her kiss.
Sealed by her love for me,
In her and with her I find my home.
Cry to me; confide that love is all that matters.
Lie for me; I lied to see the mirror shattered.
Try for me; abide in the home we shared.
Die with me; a lifetime we'll spend there.
(This ground, this house, this life,
All of it is meaningless without you.
You're all I need, all I'll ever need,
And I'll live with you long past forever.)
"Our Home"
I've been holding on for so long
That I know now that it could not be wrong.
My life and all that's in it
Is the difference of my heart.
The reflection of my past endeavors
Flash before me as your love forever
Beckons me deep within it,
With the answers in the dark.
Cry to me; confide that love is all that matters.
Lie for me; I lied to see the mirror shattered.
Try for me; abide in the home we shared.
Die with me; a lifetime we'll spend there.
Make believe and watch the sky go by;
Grasp my hand and we'll touch the sky.
My will and all my memories
Drive me to forever roam.
Our lives together spent in eternal bliss,
Knowing nothing better than her kiss.
Sealed by her love for me,
In her and with her I find my home.
Cry to me; confide that love is all that matters.
Lie for me; I lied to see the mirror shattered.
Try for me; abide in the home we shared.
Die with me; a lifetime we'll spend there.
(This ground, this house, this life,
All of it is meaningless without you.
You're all I need, all I'll ever need,
And I'll live with you long past forever.)
(Here I go)
Out the door and down the street,
To the rhythm of a lyrical beat.
Remember the time of that perfect rhyme.
(All I know)
Is the life of living just to bleed,
Of bleeding just to need;
Now it's all fine despite the perfect crime.
We're two of a kind, so hard to find,
One body, one mind, two souls that bind.
(Everything inward finally spills)
We're not like the rest; we passed the test,
And did our best, though I confessed
(Everything done for the thrill of the kill)
We're sister and brother, beloved and lover,
So deep to smother, though there's no other.
(Everything lived for a kiss to steal)
We're broken yet true, died and raised anew,
Passionate through and through; All summed up in you.
(Everything given just so I could feel.)
(It's still so)
The nature of a desoate soul,
Wrapped in flesh, but barren yet whole.
All the lies we take so you'd never forsake.
(Won't let go)
I'll hold on until the end of me,
As long as it takes to set you free.
My own fate to break, all for your sake.
We're two of a kind, so hard to find,
One body, one mind, two souls that bind.
(Everything inward finally spills)
We're not like the rest; we passed the test,
And did our best, though I confessed
(Everything done for the thrill of the kill)
We're sister and brother, beloved and lover,
So deep to smother, though there's no other.
(Everything lived for a kiss to steal)
We're broken yet true, died and raised anew,
Passionate through and through; All summed up in you.
(Everything given just so I could feel.)
Out the door and down the street,
To the rhythm of a lyrical beat.
Remember the time of that perfect rhyme.
(All I know)
Is the life of living just to bleed,
Of bleeding just to need;
Now it's all fine despite the perfect crime.
We're two of a kind, so hard to find,
One body, one mind, two souls that bind.
(Everything inward finally spills)
We're not like the rest; we passed the test,
And did our best, though I confessed
(Everything done for the thrill of the kill)
We're sister and brother, beloved and lover,
So deep to smother, though there's no other.
(Everything lived for a kiss to steal)
We're broken yet true, died and raised anew,
Passionate through and through; All summed up in you.
(Everything given just so I could feel.)
(It's still so)
The nature of a desoate soul,
Wrapped in flesh, but barren yet whole.
All the lies we take so you'd never forsake.
(Won't let go)
I'll hold on until the end of me,
As long as it takes to set you free.
My own fate to break, all for your sake.
We're two of a kind, so hard to find,
One body, one mind, two souls that bind.
(Everything inward finally spills)
We're not like the rest; we passed the test,
And did our best, though I confessed
(Everything done for the thrill of the kill)
We're sister and brother, beloved and lover,
So deep to smother, though there's no other.
(Everything lived for a kiss to steal)
We're broken yet true, died and raised anew,
Passionate through and through; All summed up in you.
(Everything given just so I could feel.)
This may be a bit of a rant. Sorry.
"No Thanksgiving"
I came home today to an empty home,
After 8+ hours on the road alone;
The entire house had a feel of glood,
From the bathroom to the closet to my own bedroom.
The family came back, bitter and tense;
They didn't even notice my own presence.
My brother and his "band" had had a fight,
So he blamed my mom with all his might,
While my dad worked on my brother's car,
After 10 straight days working away so far,
And my brother didn't have the nerve to help,
So he listened to his punk rock and felt sad for himself.
My mom was getting ready for company tomorrow,
But even then, I could see her own internal sorrow,
Though she smiled and hugged me and said "welcome back",
Before running off to clean while I tried to unpack.
Three friends called and wanted to hang out,
But I stayed with my family; that's what this was about.
So my friend came over for some light thrills,
While he played games and watched us kill and kill,
And tried to ignore all the screaming below,
And the sound of my cursing as my brother decided to go,
And he ran away from home, even though it was late,
While my dad jumped in the car and drove out of state,
And my mom, caught in the middle, didn't know what to do,
So she went back inside since there was laundry to do.
And I sat alone, in my inner grief and remorse,
Wondering how our lives had taken this course.
Thanksgiving indeed; no family, no friends, no love,
And still I cry inside to my God high above.
Things can't stay like this, all the bitterness and hate,
And the violence and cursing and eternal mistakes,
But I'm just a guest, in this home that I know so well,
Trapped in the familiary of my once-forgotten hell.
The relatives will come, and my mom will smile all along
Explaining to them where my brother and father have gone.
Something like "work" or "friends", but never the facts,
Because God forbid they know where they're really at.
I want to leave to, to go back to where I once fell,
But I can't and I won't, because I won't leave as well,
And my mom needs the help, so I'll play along,
And act and pretend that absolutely nothing is wrong,
And then I'll go back to the dorms, in quiet disdain,
While my roommate acts stupid and can't see my pain;
Broken family, broken dreams; life lived in sick disease,
And forever and ever, until our house has peace.
"No Thanksgiving"
I came home today to an empty home,
After 8+ hours on the road alone;
The entire house had a feel of glood,
From the bathroom to the closet to my own bedroom.
The family came back, bitter and tense;
They didn't even notice my own presence.
My brother and his "band" had had a fight,
So he blamed my mom with all his might,
While my dad worked on my brother's car,
After 10 straight days working away so far,
And my brother didn't have the nerve to help,
So he listened to his punk rock and felt sad for himself.
My mom was getting ready for company tomorrow,
But even then, I could see her own internal sorrow,
Though she smiled and hugged me and said "welcome back",
Before running off to clean while I tried to unpack.
Three friends called and wanted to hang out,
But I stayed with my family; that's what this was about.
So my friend came over for some light thrills,
While he played games and watched us kill and kill,
And tried to ignore all the screaming below,
And the sound of my cursing as my brother decided to go,
And he ran away from home, even though it was late,
While my dad jumped in the car and drove out of state,
And my mom, caught in the middle, didn't know what to do,
So she went back inside since there was laundry to do.
And I sat alone, in my inner grief and remorse,
Wondering how our lives had taken this course.
Thanksgiving indeed; no family, no friends, no love,
And still I cry inside to my God high above.
Things can't stay like this, all the bitterness and hate,
And the violence and cursing and eternal mistakes,
But I'm just a guest, in this home that I know so well,
Trapped in the familiary of my once-forgotten hell.
The relatives will come, and my mom will smile all along
Explaining to them where my brother and father have gone.
Something like "work" or "friends", but never the facts,
Because God forbid they know where they're really at.
I want to leave to, to go back to where I once fell,
But I can't and I won't, because I won't leave as well,
And my mom needs the help, so I'll play along,
And act and pretend that absolutely nothing is wrong,
And then I'll go back to the dorms, in quiet disdain,
While my roommate acts stupid and can't see my pain;
Broken family, broken dreams; life lived in sick disease,
And forever and ever, until our house has peace.
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