Sounds like you did basically everything you could do, though if he continues to stalk your fiancee, I'd call the police and get a court order against him.

This is not uncommon, btw. When a person's life starts to become perpetually unbearable, they start doing crazy shit out of desperation. It also sounds like your friend is either abusing substances or has an undiagnosed mental problem. From my experience, hard drug users tend to lose their sense of shame after a certain point, and this guy clearly has no shame.

I think you might want to hold on to your friend a little longer.

It may be a neuro complex that's causing these actions. Seeing as how your friend has yet to engage in sexual intercourse, but has obviously been heavily exposed to it, the site of your fiance may have triggered an anxiety towards sexual relief within him, a desperate need to have sex.

Now, I'm no professional on these sort of things, but I have read before that a virgin's high exposure to sex and the related can cause them to, well... become desperate. But it also causes them to act without judgment, and instead much to the instinctive pursuit of the potential mate.

I've dealt with this before with a friend of mine. The only difference with him is that he's also very perverted, and from what you've told in your post, your friend is not.

I think you should try to help your friend instead of abandoning him (I am not at all judging your actions when I say that), and see if you can get him to cool himself and find reason in this situation.

I'm not trying to be funny, but losing his virginity may help.

he does not use drugs, hes 31 and is 4"9 tall...he stalks ladies a lot, we went to subway one time for lunch he ordered his sandwich but then asked the employee " are you from this area? do you live near by?" i was so embarrased, the expression on that girl's face was priceless.

Ok now I am known to be quite the pervert but do you live nearby....uh yeah why *are* you friends with this guy...

This does not factor into anything.


He is not a stalker, that would require actual stalking. He is a tactless idiot instead without dignity.

He is rather odd I must say. If you have been friends with him for over twenty years (even best friends at a time?) you shouldn't give up with him that easily. At the age of thirty you hardly make new friends any longer because you "always" have better things to do than that.

I would personally visit his house and talk about the situation together with his mother around. Then I'd go to a bar with him, keeping things real but in a laid-back mood and perhaps fight with him after coming out of the bar like men sometimes do. After that I'd order him to get a job, get laid and not be a wacko. I would say that "--otherwise our friendship will end and your mom will throw you out of your home".

At least give him a chance not to ruin his life but stay strict.

Hmmm...I might be missing something, but that just sounds like an attempt at friendly conversation. I get asked that quite often.

I wouldn't call that stalking...

That's more along the lines of pervert, like the guy I dealt with.

In this case, it's amazing you've been friends with this guy for so long if this is a continuing issue for you. If your friendship was strong before what he did to your fiance, maybe you should try to hold on. But if the friendship was already falling, maybe it's time for you two to part.

In the end, the decision is yours to make. I hope you make the right one, which ever decision it may be. :)

Wow, this reminds me of one of my childhood friends... he did not end up well... no future, living at his parents', spending all the money he steals into drugs...

You may not need a friend like him. Especially after he asked your fiancee that.

You're asking for an opinion? Here's mine:

You don't need a friend like that.

i aprecciate all the advice, you guys rock...but i did forget to mention a few more things...he wasn't like that in school, he just got worse as an adult, he also sent a friend request to every lady on my facebook ( that includes all my schoolmates and my 16 year old niece). he just sucks and refuses to get help, done with him.

Sounds like he's just been lonely long enough to have become more and more shameless to me. If/When you disassociate yourself from him, expect some backlash from him for doing so...But also, get ready to watch the show he puts on. From my experience, folks that do this sort of thing are "awakening" or "blooming" into whoever lonesomeness has turned them into.

Wait til you see how radical his girlfriend//boyfriend ends up being...if he makes it that far.

I'd tell him to stop hitting on my fiance (yes, if you're uncomfortable with his behavior with your fiance, then you draw the lines in the sand.) and recommend that he instead try doing things he hasn't before, going places he hasn't been, change the job or hobby, go to school...etc. Give him some sound, constructive things he could be doing instead of hitting on your wife to be. Mainly so that he may expand his social circle. Hopefully what'll happen is what usually happens, and he'll meet his match during one of these ventures.

Good luck bro.

Two things to post here:

1. Congrats on you and your fiancee. Hope you have many happy years together

2. About your ex-friend; If the problem gets worse then threaten him by saying you'll go to the Police. If it doesn't stop, then talk to the Police about him. Just tell them the truth and dont skip every fact. Every detail is crucial. If he still doesn't leave you alone, then the Police will get involved.

Hope this stuff works and that your 'buddy' leaves you alone.

true that. The cops will pay him a visit the first time and basically say you cant do that shit boy. and the second time its off to booking.