Granted! But you fall into a volcano, forced to burn forever.

I wish my life was decent.

Granted, but you still feel pain, can still be injured, you can suffer horrible trauma and feel it entirely yet still live. You also never heal.

Granted, but everyone around you now lives a terrible life and hates you for being so decent

I wish I had scissors, 61!

Granted. You get two pairs, but they replace your hands, and you trim bushes, dogs and old ladies for the rest of your life.

I wish I could quit smoking.

Granted. But now you become addicted to chewing gum.

I wish I had a clone.

Granted, but it's a girl clone and you begin to have feelings for her/you and eventually have sex. Your god damn weird.

I wish I was related to Hitler in some way or another.

Granted, but it's Randolph Hitler, a male stripper with AIDS.

I wish more news about Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes would be released

Granted, you're the son he implanted a ticking timebomb into, set to go off this very year.

I wish the Sears Tower would get its original name back. Fuck Willis.

I Shall grant the last two wishes together

More news about MGS Ground Zeroes is released when Hideo Kojima buys and renames the Sears Tower the Sears Tower after Solidus Snake's real name: George Sears who is revealed to be alive.

Also revealed is that George Sears will rape Raiden in an 8 hour cutscene which involves the latter dressed in ripped stockings and the former is bleeding out of his eyes.

The building is torn down out of disgust and Ground Zeroes is never released.


I wish Friends was actually funny.

Granted, but it winds up like Seinfeld where every sitcom after it steals something from it to the point that it looks unoriginal in comparison

I wish I could think of a good wish

Granted, but you may not wish for it.

I wish this wasn`t stolen from the MK wiki.

Granted! They stole it from Jason Fritz, who created the game in the early 1990s during the infancy of the internet. When he found out Wikipedia stole the idea and made it popular, he killed himself.
I wish I spoke 10 languages.

Granted, all the languages you can speak are dead languages, and you cannot learn anything else.


I wish I had the ability to manipulate the probability of anything - possible or impossible - to any degree, much like Scarlet Witch, but minus the fatigue.

Granted, but you cannot choose the degree of the change.

I wish this wish was not corrupted.

Granted, but instead your life is corrupted in that you now realize I've never checked the MK Wiki

I wish people knew how to pronounce my username correctly

Granted but now no one can pronounce your real name correctly.

I wish time travel was invented.

Granted, but all it is is teleporting clocks.

I wish that my guitar had a few more frets.

Granted, it is now constantly worried

I wish I had a 3DS with two analog pad things

What...
That made so much sense that it makes no sense!

And, Granted! But it's touch screen doesn't work

I wish for somebody else to make th next wish.

granted but next person is lazy and doesn't brother doing it

since that person not making wish then I'll take his turn

I wish NOT to be rich

Granted, you're SUPER rich! But you didn't pay any taxes so you're going to prison.

I wish for the mere possibility that this wish may or may not be corrupted in any possible or impossible way.

Granted, the possibility exists, but it doesn't happen

I wish more people realized that some words have multiple meanings

Granted, but they don't know the meanings (Yes, I got the fret joke. It was hilarious)

I wish I didn't make this wish.

Granted, you died 6 minutes ago.

I wish he hadn't have made that wish.

Granted, I used that time to wish you had both killed each other 20 minutes ago instead.
I wish no animals were endangered.