Granted, all endangered animals are now extinct

I wish I had a pet pig

Granted. However you end up eating him for bacon.

I wish I was a successful voice actor.

Granted, but right as your career is taking off you damage your larynx and can never speak again.


I wish for peas. Not peace, peas.

Granted, but they come on a string in various sizes, and in your butthole.

I wish that I had a full band for my cover band "Millineum".

Granted, here's your band:



Its natural rubber comes from trees only ass-kickers can retrieve. Harness it wisely for your cover band.

I wish the moon changes colors depending on the month, like normal white for January, ocean blue for June, light sky blue for July, purple for October, white with an orange tinge for December and such.

Granted but news of this spreads while still in January so the moon is still it's normal color and a war to the moon erupts resulting in the blowing up of the moon before February.

I wish someone I dislike would get Lou Gherig's disease.

Granted, but you realize that you dislike yourself the most, and catch it.

I wish unicorns were real, and sang Always by Erasure nonstop.

Granted, but everyone gets sick of the song and kills every unicorn

I wish I could fly

Granted, they WERE real and they SANG that song, but now they are extinct


I wish Super Heroes were real!

Granted, You get 2 plane tickets (Twisted Metal 2 Hammerhead ending style) and either jump off a building thinking you could actually fly or the plane you are on is in a crash and you die.



Granted but a Super-Villain kills you in a massive attack in an attempt to get one of the super hero's attention.



I wish it was March 15th 2013.

Granted, but that's the real doomsday date.

I wish my wish was un-corruptible

Granted! However, you create a black hole as a result of defying the game with a paradox and destroy our solar system!
I wish I had a degree in astrophysics.

Granted, unfortunately the school you got it from isn't accredited, so you can never do anything with it.

I wish I days lasted longer.

Granted, but the resulting alterations of the space-time continuum and the Earth's rotation cause an ice age.

I wish I was financially stable enough to live on my own.

Granted, however the apartment you get is robbed multiple times and eventually you are gunned down by a robber.

I wish NRS would re-hire the guy who did the costumes of MKD.

Granted but NRS does another Non-MK game, wasting that guy's talent on something else.

I wish more people would participate in this thread.

Granted, but we all leave the thread.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, the Universe ceases to be.


I wish I naturally smelled like strawberries.

Granted, but you eaten alive because you smell delicious

I wish High Fructose Corn Syrup never existed.

Granted, a much worse version of it exists now, and it's sold by the bottle.

I wish for a buttermilk Norwegian unicorn bagel bunny that doesn't fly into the Hey! without the magical scuba groove madness neckbone breakfast sandwich doughnot shop christmas cards with the cute pillow laptop thunder clap basement entertainment system degenerating kitten closet on its hindlegged butter biscuits.

Let's see how this gets corrupted...

Granted! However, the buttermilk's expired, Norway wants it back and is willing to go to war for it, the unicorn part's eaten by Voldemort, the bagel part's eaten by a New Yorker, the bunny part can't swim with the scuba gear on, the neckbone breakfast sandwich is dry, the doughnut shop Christmas cards are from the 40s with racist caricatures on them, the cute pillow's not fly proof, the laptop thunderclap has no internet, the basement entertainment system's from the 1920s so it's covered with radium and poisons you, the degenerating kitten enjoys clawing at your testicles in the closet (they fell off due to radium) and the butter biscuits are stale.
I deserve a blowjob for that. In face, I wish for a blowjob.

Granted, but it's given by Rudolph Hitler, the male stripper with AIDS that's related to Murcielago

I wish Oblivion had a more diverse environment and story.

Granted, but the game's never going to be made. Like, ever.


I wish for a wish to wish the wish with the wish that has the wish on the wish before the wish with the wish gets the wish with the wish that has the wish with a puppy.



This is shit is loads of fun!

Uh...granted but you die.


I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish.

Granted, however, the fish still remembers you killing it and becomes mutated because it wasn't supposed to remember. Now the fish has grown sharp, sharpie teeth and gnaws on your hand, forcing you to kill it again if you don't want your hand to become reduced to a state of non-functional disrepair.

I wish for the sky to be colored red during the day, and not as a result of the Sun becoming a red giant.