"Pain is inevitable. It will eventually touch us all. Suffering is optional."
Member Since
05/29/2008 05:34 AM (UTC)
There was a time when I was almost a parent, but that fucking bitch fucked everything up and she can rot in hell for eternity... but that's another topic entirely.
Is there anyone here that is a parent who would like to share how they believe parenting should be executed? And if you're not a parent, how would you want to do it? What do you believe is a incredible :) or terrible :( way to raise a child?
There's a thing called discipline, use it. I'm the kind of person who will spank their child. I don't care if others find it harsh for the kid. If the child gets too out of hand where yelling doesn't cut it, you spank the kid. That will get them to knock if off.
Here's an example of something I wish parents would STOP doing:
This person is somewhat a relative of mine, and her child was getting too out of hand with the other kids. Smacking the crap out of my little cousin, shoving around my other cousin. The other parents basically yelled at this kid, not the mother. The mother doesn't believe in corporal punishment. The kid starts jumping around on couches and she's sitting there like it's perfectly fine when they're jumping around in an area that isn't kid-proof exactly.
They were going to go home, the father and the other child is in the car already and the out-of-hand kid is still disobeying orders to go to the car. The Sox game is much more interesting than leaving the place. So the mother does the one thing I HATE seeing parents do and that's the "I'm giving you til' the count of three." A.) You never do anything when you get to three other than grabbing the child's hand and pulling them away. B.) You counting gives them two more seconds of fooling around before you get to three.
I don't like seeing parents being too kind to out of control kids. If you don't yell at the child to knock if off, how are they going to learn that what they're doing is something they shouldn't do? If you're going to tell your child in a nice calm voice to stop, they're going to walk over that and continue. I've got a lot of kids in my family, and the parents at times can't push themselves into the child's face and tell them to stop.
Also, if you're going to tell them to stop, don't do the whole "I can't get out of my chair but my voice can carry." If you don't put yourself in front of the child and tell them to knock if off, they're going to keep doing whatever they feel like. You just sitting on your ass and yelling shows them that, yeah you're pissed but since you're not coming after me I guess I can keep doing this. I got twin monster cousins who do that. If they're parents aren't near them to get in their faces to knock it off, they're going to keep it up.
I'm sorry, if people are against the corporal punishment, that's their thing, but I'm for corporal punishment. It taught me well growing up as a kid.
I'm not a parent but I've worked with troubled youth and their families professionally for 4-5 years now and incorporate the knowledge from and refer to this book quite a bit.
I am a parent of 3, I am a sort of "motherfather", and... you can't truly understand the dynamics associated with parenting until you are a parent. There's really not a good way to judge or decide what is needed until the specifics of those situations are in front of you, happening in real time, and continuuing to happen over and over... over time.
That said, all the "rules" or standpoints that will probably be brought up in a thread like this one go out the window depending on any given parenting situation. There's just far too many variables to know or tell... or to be "pre"-pared for.
In all my years of parenting, I've always remembered one thing:
Guide your children, don't mold them.
From my perspective, it is best to allow children to choose their own path, instead of creating one for them. Let them be themselves, and only intervene on their life decisions when danger is nearing.
Nevertheless, install great virtues that may help them gain a good sense of judgment and character. For me, those virtues are:
