Ok... A guy was rolling in the dirt.. A man walks by and sees him.. The man asks "Hey, why are you all dirty?" Then the guy says "Because I was rolling in the dirt!!!" HAHAHAHA!!!


J/K.. I have no jokes whatsoever, lol. Unless I can post yomama jokes, although, I don't think those are all that funny anymore.

theres hippie and a noun on the bus and the hippie says:
would it be alright if i said u were hot?
noun: its alright
hippie:is it alright that we have sex
noun:no its against my practices
hippie:o ok
so the noun gets off and the bus driver says:
she goes to the church evry thursday at 5. u should say ur god and thats o u will get her to sleep.
hippie:thanks
so the hippie goes to the church and fines the noun there and tells her that hes god
noun: wow thats amazing, i didnt no u were god
hippie:yes and all ur sins and prayers will be forgiven if u have sex with me
noun: ok but we have to fo it anal.
so they have sex then the hippie say
ha i fooled u im not god
noun: ha i fooled u im not the noun im the bus driver.

travelingwilbury that's the number one joke so far keep it up.hahahaaaaaaakeekeekeeeee.

thanks

I Have another one:
A women just gets out of the shower, and she hears the door bell ring, she asks who is it? the man at the door says its the blind man.she says to herself, but im naked, if only those towels were dry, well he's blind he won't see anything so she opens the door and the man says ok lady where do you want your blinds.

RECOMMENDED JOKE

Here's my best one ...its a long one so be patient.

A husband and wife arrive home from work and find a man laying on their couch.
the husband asks who he is, "I'm a Genie" the man said "And I'll grant you both 3 wishes but only if you can grant me one in return"
The husband and wife are too excited about their wishes that they didn't pay attention to what the genie had said.

the husband takes the first wish "I wish that i had millions of pounds in the bank". "Done" said the genie.

the wife takes the second wish "I wish for world peace" she says. "Done" said the genie.

"That was a stupid wish" the husband says "I wish that i owned bungalows all over the world". "Done" said the genie.

"Now i've granted you 3 wishes it is now time for you to grant me my wish" the genie says. The wife and husband look at each other in estonishment "we did say we would" said the husband "fine what would you like?"

"i would like to spend one night with your wife" the genie says
The wife isn't too sure about this but the husband reassures her "its ok darling, he's only a genie"

so...the wife and the genie spend a night making passionate love to each other. at the end the night the genie asks "by the way, how old is your husband?"

"hes 35" the wife says so the genie replies "wow, 35 and he still believes in genies"

^^ hahahaha!!! that was funny!!!

There is a black guy,a mexican,and a white guy on a boat.The black guy is eating some chicken and he throws it into the ocean.The white guy asks him why did that and the black guy says where i come from there is a lot of that.The mexican is eating a taco and he throws it into the ocean.The white guy asks him why did that and the mexican says where i come from there is a lot of that.The white guy throws the black guy overboard.the mexican asks why he did that and he says i am from the south there is a lot of them where i come from

Didn't catch that one Docbrown.

jade2004 that one was superb.Hahahaaaaaaaahakekeeee!

Sub_ZER0 you were also great,are you guys thinking of being comedians?

Ok I have one more:
One day superman is flying and was getting some feelings, he needed a girl, so as he's flying he comes across wonderwoman's apartment he says to himself hmmm perfect! i'll go in there and do my thing i'll be so fast she won't even realize it. so superman flys by her window and sees wonderwoman laying on the bed nude he goes in and does his thing and wonderwoman says WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT? and the invincible man says I don't know but me ass sure hurts.

Not very many of these jokes are original, which I think was the point of this thread, but I'm gonna post a joke I made up back when I was 15 or 16 or somewheres around there. It's pretty bad, but it cracks me up:

*knock knock*
Who's there?
Al
Al who?
Al Beechu
Al Beechu who?
Al Beechu ass if you don't ansuh da daymn do'

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall??


Dam

You guys please,please post your own joke.

why would i want to waste my time and do that

What do a bungie jumping cord and a hooker have in common?

They are both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks -- your dead

What is it.....

It has 4 legs and always trips....









A half spider.

That was a poor ripoff of a leprechaun joke, Jade2004. Please post something original.

Okay everyone I'll post one more original joke (I don't want to be a joke hog ) and excuse the langue in this one I don't curse but its only a joke:
A chinese boy askes his mother do I come from chun-king? or pe-king? the mother says you come from fu-king

So a Guy walks in to a bar right, so he goes in, drinks a couple of beers and before he knows it, he is Freaking Drunk (Homer Simpson Style), so then he leaves, and can barely stand and when he exits, he sees a Nun Standing there. He look at her and Punches her. The Nun Falls down and is Trying to get up when The Drunk Guy Knees her right in the face! He gets on her and Punches her with Rights and Lefts and Riights. He starts choking her and the Drunk Guy says, " Not so tough NOW Batman!!! "

LOL. That was a Boering Joke

Skorpion Wrote: What do a bungie jumping cord and a hooker have in common? They are both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks -- your dead

lmfao - nice one

here's one...it's not mine

how can you sit four hookers in a chair?
turn the chair upside down

(these are cool in portuguese but I don't know the exact term in english so here it goes)

what's the exageration of speed?
a guy running around a chair until he does anal with himself

what's the exageration of forgetfulness?
a guy locking a drawer with the keys inside

what's the exageration of sellfishness?
I'm not telling you

maybe they are kinda stupid in english...f*ck it what's done it's done

Drobrown you always have sweet jokes.

thank you, scorpion15152004.

A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he’s retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."

"What’s country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," the farmer says, "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. Then that feller, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin’ wins the dispute."

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he’s ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "All right, n-now it’s–it’s m-my turn."

The farmer grins. "Aw, hell, you win. Keep the duck."