Last Child Support Check

Today is my daughter's 18th birthday ... I'm so glad, that this is my
last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those
payments! I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she
got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check
over to your mama's house; you tell her that this is the last check
she's ever going to get from me. Then I want you to come back here and
tell me the _thisthingisdisabled she had on her face." So my baby girl took the
check over to her. I was so anxious to hear what the witch had to say
and what she looked like. As my baby girl walked though the door, I
said, "Well now ... what did she have to say?"
"She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy."

Boy: (to girl) So uh...you know what...
Girl: What?
Boy: You make me feel like Richard Gear
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cuz Im standing next to the Pretty Woman!
Girl: ... Wasnt julia Roberts a Prostitute in that Movie!?!?!?!?!
Boy: Uhh....yea.....uhh.....Ill be leaving now....

Yes I tried too put it but I forgot.

Sub_ZER0 Wrote: Did u mean to put the word never in that sentence

Keep the joke coming are those guys real?Hahaaaahaaaa!

A guy walked into a bar and sat in the first seat, at the bar top is a bowl of peanuts, all of a sudden the peanuts start talking to the guy they say "wow your looking good" and then the peanuts say " your hair looks nice and you smell good" the guy then askes the bartender "whats up with those peanuts their telling me I look good and smell good" the bartender then says "oh..their complimentry peanuts.

Good one DOCBROWN,you are a great author.

scorpion15152004 Wrote: Good one DOCBROWN,you are a great author.

Hah.. Innocently bumping the thread?

I'm not bumping the thread torchia.

a blond, brunette and redhead are stranded on an island 100 miles off of the mainland, so the brunette decides shes had enough of this and decides to swim for it, she makes it about 30 miles out gets tired and drowns, the redhead decides to go for it shortly after the brunette does thinking she has already made it back to the mainland and makes it about 60 miles out gets tired and drowns, then the blond decides shes going to go meet her new friends swims out looking for them her large breasts acting like floatation devices keeping her from drowning she manages to make it out about 95 miles, and just then decides her friends must have turned back so she swims back to the tiny barren little island.

what do you call an old italian woman with a yeast infection?

A whopper with cheese.......

please dont get offended it was still only a joke....

What do you call a 1/4 pound w/ cheese in France?

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-Royal w/ cheese.

Good one supertim1,you are very funny but just remember dont go too far with the blonde and redhead stuff or they'll close my thread.

An employer puts a sign over the sink in the company bathroom to increase morale that says "Think!"

The next day, he walked into the bathroom and someone had put a sign over the soap dispenser that said "Thoap!"

i got some jokes for ya....


i hate it when u go to the radio shack store and they ask for your name and address.so one time i went in and said,"i want to buy that VCR right there.the clerk said,"whats yer address"?
(me):my address?What do u need to know my address for?how bout' u give me yours and if this thing don`t work i`ll come over there and kick yer ass.

a real stupid guy had a job at nasa,he was a nuclear missile engineer.he was talking to a TV reporter and said,"yeah i build nuclear missiles.i used to work down at the 711 but they fired me from there because i was fondling the coca cola bear.now i work at nasa.this here is my newest...what?wheres my missile?i had it right here,and i got hungry and i pressed the big red button that said lunch,and i don`t remember anything else.

last one...


3 brothers were standing over there mom's open casket(they were at her funeral).and the first brother said,"ma looks good don`t she".
the second one say's,"that ain`t momma".
the third one say's,"na thats her they just shaved her beard off.

ssj_gogeta Wrote: what do you call an old italian woman with a yeast infection? A whopper with cheese....... please dont get offended it was still only a joke....

I was walking down the street one day and I saw a vampire throwing Italians out of his apartment window. And he was singing "Drained Wops keep falling on my head..."

::Remembers he's Italian::

Oh yeah.

Great one MKMaster,very funny.!

That joke was great jade2004 but the topic says "post your own joke" and that joke was posted earlier in the thread.

OK here is the best joke ever:


Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

cuz it's gonna drizzle fo' shizzle

thank you scorpion.

and what joke was posted earlier?

I can't remember it too good but it has something too do with two couples asking the genie for some wish then the genie ask the guy if he can have sex with his wife.

The 3 wishes:
O.K., there is a black man, a white man, and a mexican man. they are walking down the road when they spot a magic lamp. they walk over and rub it and a genie comes out, this is no ordinary geni, this genie has blonde hair, green eyes, and huge boobs. The genie say's "I will grant you three any wish you want". The black man say's, "I want to be rich" POOF! he is rich. then the mexican man say's "I want a corvet" POOF! he has his corvet. Then the white man say's "give me a little head". POOF! the white man touches his head and says, "Hey! Why is my head so little?!?". LOL

The bar:
Three guys walk into a bar......and the fourth one ducks.

I'm not sure if i would consider this as a joke but it makes me laugh.

(singin a song) "I remember the words my dad told me before he died.

They were . . . . . uuhh . . . i'll get back to you on that