Disciple

Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocrisy
I'll instigate, I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time

GOD HATES US ALL
GOD HATES US ALL
You know it's true, God hates this place
You know it's true, he hates this race

Homicide - suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered

GOD HATES US ALL
GOD HATES US ALL
GOD HATES US ALL
GOD HATES US ALL

He fuckin' hates me

Pessimist, terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding off hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world fuckin' dies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow

Man made virus infecting the world
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the fuck up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy

I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation - separation
Just me and my world of enemies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow
I'll never be the one to bear the cross - disciple

I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place
I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place

I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place
I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place

"Providential Sorrow"
One by one,
All falls apart.
Unravelling the threads of time,
And wrapping them 'round my heart.
Uselessly tired,
I struggle to stand.
The questions plague my mind and desires,
Telling me who I truly am.

This provedential sorrow is all I know.
It guides me and hides me and shows me where to go.
This providential sorrow shelters me like a fort,
Yet takes everything from me. Still, it's my last resort.

Seeing this pain
Drives me to my knees.
The darkest memories are all that remain,
And the darkness hides all that I see.
Something from nothing,
And thisthingisdisableds of guilt.
It pains me to see such life destroyed,
Such a beautiful rose whither and wilt.

This provedential sorrow is all I know.
It guides me and hides me and shows me where to go.
This providential sorrow shelters me like a fort,
Yet takes everything from me. Still, it's my last resort.

Time passes by,
Leaving us to speculate.
Where does a simple man stand
In the cosmos that define his fate?
Purpose and resolve,
A will to be great,
Still, desire alone can never solve
The problems of deserving hate.

This provedential sorrow is all I know.
It guides me and hides me and shows me where to go.
This providential sorrow shelters me like a fort,
Yet takes everything from me. Still, it's my last resort.

Fatality.

"Hell-Spawn"
Bleeding, seething, feeding off the dark.
Gloating, loathing, yet missing the mark.
Confiding, hiding, biding my time.
Dreaming, screaming, feeling it unwind.
Fear, so near; it's here, tearing through my skin.
Trying, lying, dying so many times within.

No one can understand
(this painful memory is all that keeps me alive.)
No one knows who I am
(this painful memory is what helped me survive.)
How did they remember me when I was gone?
(did they throw roses or insults on my grave?)
Now I'm a shell of what I was. I'm a Hell-Spawn.
(born of free will, yet bound as fate's slave.)

Knowing, growing, and owing so much to so many.
Yearning, learning, and burning from here to infinity.
Deceiving, heaving, and relieving the taint on my hands.
Confusing, using, and abusing this fragmented, shallow man.
Hoping, moaping, and coping with what I am now.
Holding, scolding, and unfolding what I cannot allow.

No one can understand
(this painful memory is all that keeps me alive.)
No one knows who I am
(this painful memory is what helped me survive.)
How did they remember me when I was gone?
(did they throw roses or insults on my grave?)
Now I'm a shell of what I was. I'm a Hell-Spawn.
(born of free will, yet bound as fate's slave.)

Fight it, right it, light it up for the eyes of the devil.
Tougher, rougher; I suffer through hell's deepest levels.
To give, relive, forgive the murder; the body count rises.
Crying, striving, and diving into the midst of the surprises.
Forget, relent, I hit the ground and scream aloud.
Hating, shading, and fading away, as transparent as clouds.

No one can understand
(this painful memory is all that keeps me alive.)
No one knows who I am
(this painful memory is what helped me survive.)
How did they remember me when I was gone?
(did they throw roses or insults on my grave?)
Now I'm a shell of what I was. I'm a hell-spawn.
(born of free will, yet bound as fate's slave.)

Dust to dust.
Ashes to ashes.
Dirt to dirt.
Hurt for hurt.
Eye for eye.
Wound for wound.
Soul for soul.
Pain for pain.
Scream for scream.
Dream for dream.
Man to man.
Face to face.
Case for case.
Love for hate.
Hope for rape.
Cycle goes on and on.
The eternal world of the Hell-spawn.

Fatality.

bad day...

this is all nonsense
all I seem to get from people are just bland responses
so whats my stacis?
it cannot be explained in just a few Stances
In a world without walls and Fences,
Who needs Gates and Windows
wars no longer fought with swrods and lances
this world feels fake,
Why do I not feel a breeze when the wind blows?
a city has ruined a once grazing forest
I'm not saying it's wrong but I step 10 miles from my house and I feel like a fucking tourist
I miss my land, e'ryone was hurry to lend a hand
with a smile helped the Doctor, the engineer, the butcher, the florist.
over here its not a similar story,
in my neighborhood people don't seem to like to wave,
my homeboys have long since moved away
when we was kids we used to play,
when we got grown, we'd think of slang to say,
so why, why this way?
I'm always angry but I do not hesitate to release it,
I no longer have a girl to ease it,
I left her when the love was gone,
when she felt like a pet that I had to get to, just to please it
I do not see the world the same way the 'world' sees it
so I'm often in trouble,
This boredom and motony just seems like it feeds it
this frustration became encasing
and all the while I was always sensing, that I was meant for more,
I'd like to travel but it all seems so yonder lore
So I decide to conform and I took up boxing...
but then that too became boxing
I cannot stand the fact I'm there just to hurt another,
a composition of molecules, a soul, my biblical brother
So I just train, cuz being fit seems to get me lain
carnal pleasure, doesn't even numb the pain that never leaves,
I punch and punch away at the sand until my fists start to bleed.
The thought never heaves,
I should have thought to stop it when it was just a seed
but now it's grown out my hands, to this life thats become the plainest of blands
the vainilla of Ice cream stands
and it is something that I cannot stand...

just random thoughts to live by....

Cursed "Server down" destroyed my latest. Oh well. Another go 'round.

"Metal"
A mix of sweat and blood, flows like a flood,
As I hit the concrete, yet I rise to my feet.
I see them smiling those sick smiles, sayin' I'm in denials,
Telling me to give up, I'm not good enough, so I rough it up.
Blow after blow makes it so, but still the blood flows,
Down my from my twisted face, like a mark of disgrace.

Fighting for everything yet fighting for nothing.
Fighting for myself, you, a future, or something.
I didn't start this, but there's a score to settle,
So I face the assault, with my back against cold metal.

Worn and torn, ever since the day that I was born,
I lash out, screaming out, telling them all about
The hurt they cause, half-expecting applause,
But they laugh me off, just trying to piss me off.
They laugh on and scoff at my punches, so soft.
The bleeding doesn't show me what I lack; it won't bring her back,
But still I lash out and attack like it's a God-given fact.

Fighting for everything yet fighting for nothing.
Fighting for myself, you, a future, or something.
I didn't start this, but there's a score to settle,
So I face the assault, with my back against cold metal.

Two bodies lie motionless in the alleyway; vengeace to repay,
Yet it gives me no satisfaction; just a killer's reaction.
Stumbling like a drunk, I wonder how far I've sunk,
Wondering why I fight? Does the fighting make it right?
But it's all that fills my heart's hole, but it never makes it whole.
Nothing can take back what I said, and the memory will haunt me long after I'm dead.

Fighting for everything yet fighting for nothing.
Fighting for myself, you, a future, or something.
I didn't start this, but there's a score to settle,
So I face the assault, with my back against cold metal.

Bullets and ballets, like the good ol' days,
A past I couldn't escape, a past of drugs, death, and rape,
And I find that I've lost, even though I "won" at all costs.
I cry to the winter moon, knowing death will come for me soon,
Still feeling the fading touch of the love she gave, so much.
I can do nothing but fight on, searching for my own right's wrong.

Fighting for everything yet fighting for nothing.
Fighting for myself, you, a future, or something.
I didn't start this, but there's a score to settle,
So I face the assault, with my back against cold metal.

Ignoring my crying, acting like it was all trying,
And I long to hold her hand, to see me for who I am,
But all I have left is a photograph; she got the last laugh,
Telling me I would always be alone, always if I made my heart stone,
And she tried so hard to make me alive, to warm this heart inside.
I'm a bleeding and soulless mixture, with nothing left but her fading picture.

Fighting for everything yet fighting for nothing.
Fighting for myself, you, a future, or something.
I didn't start this, but there's a score to settle,
So I face the assault, with my back against cold metal.

Fatality.

Yo yo yo whatup! This is a Real Deal Productions....

Now I'm not spoofing when I'm writing this song-I've always had this song in my mind!

Remember Bagel Bites-the commercial-My Song goes like this


CACA in the morning
CACA in the evening
CACA at suppertime
With CACA on a Bagel
You can eat Bagels anytime!

I've got another song...it's called FFM

It's called my creative writing!!!

FFM is the greatest way to enjoy life
2 chicks with no sticks
I wanna give them my love all over
When it's over
I BUST
And run away from the cops
So they won't Bust me
But I might Bust them
If they 2 F's
And I kick it
All night long
Before the sticky icky is done!

I've got another song...it's called FFM PART 2

This is not a spoof guys-it's called my creative writing!!!

FFM is much better than MMF
No DP
No Sandwhiching
Give me some time
to Kick it
With my Homegirls
Out on the front porch
No Homo
No Mo Thug
Ride In My Lo Lo
2 Honies giving me Brain till I Bust A FAT ONE! ONE in the Eye-The Other Down the Hatch!
Before the sticky icky is done!

Too each his own.

"Murder"
I'm ashamed of the dreams I have at night.
No, not so much dreams, but nightmares of fright.
Every night, I wake up screaming,
Wishing to myself I was only dreaming.
But dreams stem from something outside,
And if you're not careful, you'll get pulled in for the ride.
I catch my breath and try to go back to bed,
But those screwed up thoughts still fill my head.

I want to hurt her,
I want to hold her,
I want to feel her close to me.
I want to touch her,
I want to see her,
She tried to steal what's most to me.

She tried to warn me, but I never heard her.
Now I'm so afraid; she's accused me of murder.

I had almost forgotten the time I left her love letters,
Or the time I brought her roses to make her feel better.
I had forgotten the way she used to smile at me,
Telling me how we'd be together for eternity.
Now, I just see her face in my dreams,
Sometimes she's happy, but sometimes she screams.
It's been so long, now, since I've had a good night's sleep;
I just stay up at night, thinking of her, and I weep.

I want to hurt her,
I want to hold her,
I want to feel her close to me.
I want to touch her,
I want to see her,
She tried to steal what's most to me.

She tried to warn me, but I never heard her.
Now I'm so afraid; she's accused me of murder.

My life ended several years ago;
I've been a corpse since that day, or they tell me so.
Everywhere I look, I see memories of her, her form and shape,
And these memories haunt me, and I can never escape.
I feel such rage, but I try and say I wasn't at fault.
I just wish these visions of murder would come to a halt.
But, I have no peace; I don't deserve mercy or sympathy.
I just live my life and struggle to understand what's best for me.

I want to hurt her,
I want to hold her,
I want to feel her close to me.
I want to touch her,
I want to see her,
She tried to steal what's most to me.

She tried to warn me, but I never heard her.
Now I'm so afraid; she's accused me of murder.

Fatality.

"Bang"

I lie to myself when I'm all alone
Nobody calls me on my cell phone
The world spins faster and it passes me by
The burning inside is making me cry

I lash out in pain with no purpose in mind
But nobody hears me so I'm falling behind.
My anger starts to swell, blood starts to boil
My demon unleashed as I writhe in turmoil.

A madden rage consumes my whole soul
Adrenaline pumping yet I have no control
My vision blurs instantly as a shot cries out loud
My body grows cold as a shell hits the ground.

I fall to my knees in sadness and dispair
The fresh smell of blood floats through the air.
My nerves are shot solid as my act has sunk in
I've taken a life for my demon within.

It smile with joy as my heart fills with anger
The demon starts laughing, it's covorting, no stranger.
My time here is over as I reach for the gun,
My cell phone starts ringing but quickly goes numb.
A bullet through my skull and all is done.
The demon within, a constant pest
As blood clouds my vision I've put him to rest.
Bang.

heres one of my automatic favorites I've been workin on...

Title - Two Different Eyes

You see, I'd like a world of change
But I got two different eyes
And maybe, I am a little strange
But I can't see well with either eye

Sorry, I didn't mean no harm
But the likes of me still scares you
Your sore eyes, I dont like to wet them
But sometimes I just dont care
Selfish, thats just the way i feel
Even though I always meant well
And demons, theyre part of my life
They come as often as I say no

Its alright, my mind has calmed down
But I dont know how much more I can take
A monster, I see it in the mirror
Every day I just let it be
Heartless, I know it seems real
Flies through me like another personality
Your sore eyes, I dont like to wet them
But sometimes I just dont care

I just dont care

I wish I could save your life
From the dangers that embrace me
I wish I could get excited
But its been nothing for me lately

My girl, this isn't the right guy
You can stop hiding from me now
I know, you just want an apology
I guess I can make it right with one
Sorry, I didnt mean no harm
But the likes of me still scares you
Your sore eyes, I dont like to wet them
But sometimes I just dont care

I just dont care

I hope you just run away
Dont look back, im torn between
This aint the time
This aint the time, go

Perfect, I did it again
I guess this means im just a bad person
Noone, seems to understand me
But I know im starting to deserve this
And oh, the suffering I've caused
Couldn't amount more then mine
Just know, your sore eyes, I wouldn't wet them
If you knew that I just wished I cared

Slica

"Stone Garden"
In the dead of night, the snow two feet high,
I dream of light as the world passes me by.
A midnight stroll through the garden of stone,
Wondering what I'll do now that I'm on my own.
I see statues of heroes, statues of men and gods;
No statues of tears or statues of those against the odds.
My stone garden, and the only place I belong.
My heart hardens, and I knew I belonged her all along.

Some statues stand tall; others have crumbled to dust;
Representations of the great fall, of lies and broken trust.
No flowers in this garden, no rose to give its color;
Just criminals with no pardon, and statues of star-crossed lovers.
And I stand among them, no different from the rest.
Immortalized taint and sin; my own stone heart in my chest.
Things of beauty, goddess I long to be near,
Yet standing next to gargoyals, and creatures I fear.

In my stone garden, no animals scamper by.
The life I've been scarred in viciously asks why.
Why won't they come? Why won't anything grow?
Can the damage be undone? Doesn't anybody know?
Yet, like the statues around me, I'm dead,
Nothing a shell for words left unsaid.
Cold, unfeeling, and superficially appealing,
Yet bound by a hard, stone world without healing.

This life of mine was what I made of it.
I built up walls and change it as I saw fit.
I killed all the life, and created a tomb of stone.
Shrines to lost heroes, symbolic virtue I wanted my own.
Yet, the dead offer no relief, and I'm surrounded by the gray,
Writhing in my own grief, without the strength to keep evil at bay.
Now I'm growing colder, feeling my heart slowly harden;
Every day I grow older, become ageless in my stone garden.

Fatality.

"Under the Skin"
I smile at them, passing them by on the streets.
They smile back, never knowing whom they'll meet.
I live my life, masking away from reality,
Too afraid I'll wind up a sad casualty
Of life's hate and that I'll make the mistake
Of letting them see me and how they couldn't relate
To a monster like me, to the demons that dwell within.
They could never love the me under the skin.

Mindless chit-chat; that's where my life's at;
That's all there is, but I just let it be that
While I struggle to hide who I am,
Wondering what I believe and where I stand.
Japanese? Indian? A race to belong to?
Is life just some journey to carry along through?
Yet the questions offer no answers for my sin,
And so I keep the beast at bay, that thing under the skin.

Nightmares of fire and brimstone, of screams and groans,
And I wake up in sweat, still horribly alone.
Too afraid to get close, because those I love the most
Will always suffer and then Satan'll boast
About how good a demon I was; he succeeds at what he does;
But I fight it back. I'll fight forever, 'cause
I can't give in to the lie; I'd rather die.
So I struggle on and live my life and try
To protect those I care for; someone to defend,
And someone who doesn't know about the thing under my skin.

Tears of blood and sweat of acid;
Cries of pain now sounding so placid.
What's worse? The screams or the silence?
The hypocrite acts of mercy, or unabashed violence?
Where do I stand in the scheme of things?
Am I just a vessel for the death he brings?
Ignored by heaven and banished from hell;
Yet the naive still tell me I'm just fine and well.
Well, they don't know about the skeletons in my closet and bones in my den.
They don't know about the hidden truth lying under the skin.

Fatality.

OUT OF THE DARKNESS

I stay behind,
Watching the credits roll by,
And I have time,
To think of how you were mine,
All the movies we went to see,
We were a movie, you and me,
But things are so different now,
Defeat is something I don't allow,
But now that you're gone,
I feel like my life is done,
And no matter what I do,
I can't seem to find my way,
Out of the darkness,

I've always believed in my heart,
That you and I would find the rainbow's end,
But things came to such a bitter end,
Stripped from me,
All too early,
And it seemed that I had lost all faith,
And at night when I'd pray,
I could see you,
Shining like the brightest star in the sky,
And you lead me,
Out of the darkness,

I've dreamed thousands of dreams,
Hoped thousands of hopes,
Wished thousands of wishes,
None of them ever coming true,
Until the day I found you,
And eventhough you're now thousands of miles away,
In a place that's only a breath away,
I feel you're closer,
Than you ever were before,
And your love lead me,
Out of the darkness,

I stay behind in the dark theater,
Watching the credits roll by,
Roll, roll, roll right by me,
Everyone walking hand in hand,
Everybody but me,
But still I'm happy,
Knowing that you may not be by my side,
But I can feel you deep inside,
A warmth in my heart,
A warmth with a light so bright,
That it lead me out of the theater,
Through the happy couples,
And out of the darkness.

"Daybreak"

A stopped clock, hung in time with ones who will never return. A frozen note, sung to you by the stars. I saw the sunrise bleed away the night. It was beautiful, but it still burned my eyes. Reflections on the water, clouds obscuring my view. A lost soul,looking for a way home. A miserable one, forever longing for release. I saw the sunset melt away the day. It was terrible, but it still soothed my eyes. I walked away. I saw it flash away. But still I felt the warmth.

'Give My Heart Away'

I can hear the thunder in the distance,
I can feel the dark clouds looming,
Lightning stikes and it blinds me,
And before I know what happened,
I'm laying in his arms,
And thats the moment where I feel safe from harm,
But he is not the man I love,
He's not that Prince that I've always dreamt of,
But for some reason I can't tear myself away,
The thought of not having his arms wrapped around me,
Drives me insane, it makes me crazy,
And at the same time I've never felt more guilt,
I've never felt more hurt,
Because the man that I love,
Is waiting for me out in the rain,
And through the sorrow and the pain,
He has been there for me,
To shield me from the storm,
And no matter what may come,
Hell or high waters,
He's been there to be my shield,

If we love each other,
Then why do I,
Give my heart to another,
If you're the one,
Then why can't I,
Give you all my love,
If you're here to stay,
Then why must I,
Give my heart away,

I can see the sky spreading open,
A circular haze floating above me,
And as the funnel hugs me,
I feel a miraculous sense of reverie,
Because when I looked around,
Its you holding me down to the ground,
And that other man,
Is no where to be seen,
Lost in the haze of the storm,
Its only you,
You're the only one for me,
And the storm clouds leave,
And all at once,
Everything becomes so clear,

I know we love each other,
I vow I'll never,
Give my heart to another,
I know you're the one,
I vow I'll always,
Give you all my love,
And now I know you're here to stay,
So open your hands because I'm gonna,
Give my heart away,

My heart is for you,
All my love is for you,
My every breath is yours,
All because you showed me,
That sometimes its okay,
To give my heart away.

"Another Life"
Thinking through the past,
I see all the stones I cast,
The pain I caused;
Like a movie I can never pause,
And in constant rewind,
Showing it again and again; I find
That I can't be what I hoped to be.
There's too much tearing away at me.

I love you (whether you believe that or not)
I miss you (even if my words are for naught)
I gave you my heart (waiting for yours in return)
But you couldn't part (from yours, so I've learned)
Now I'm slowly dying (because without a heart, I cannot live)
Another life of trying (I'd offer you so much more than I could give.)

A heart is just a heart,
But now that mine's dead and won't start,
I'm so tired and so cold;
Still dreaming of us growing old.
Our future of whine and roses
Is a sad illusion that poses
As a beam of light piercing the dark.
I want hear your voice! A light as a lark;
I want to see your face! Angelic face of love and care;
I want to cover you, protect you, and let you know that I was there.

I love you (whether you believe that or not)
I miss you (even if my words are for naught)
I gave you my heart (waiting for yours in return)
But you couldn't part (from yours, so I've learned)
Now I'm slowly dying (because without a heart, I cannot live)
Another life of trying (I'd offer you so much more than I could give.)

In the dead of night, I take my walks,
Rainstorms pouring down on me while I talk,
Speaking to myself, scolding myself, at all I've done.
The nature of living is more than pleasure and fun.
I thought I knew that, but I lost sight of what I feel;
I lost sight of my promises and my lofty ideals.
Bleeding now, without my heart to beat,
I can't see a way to avoid defeat.
Lies of what I was and what I am haunt me.
The memories mock me and will forever taunt me.

I love you (whether you believe that or not)
I miss you (even if my words are for naught)
I gave you my heart (waiting for yours in return)
But you couldn't part (from yours, so I've learned)
Now I'm slowly dying (because without a heart, I cannot live)
Another life of trying (I'd offer you so much more than I could give.)

Fatality.

"Rain"
The tender touch to express how much I loved you has faded from mind.
The secret hope that we could cope with my mortality I can't find.
Through clouded eyes I see a clouded world of pain,
And I dream of her as I stand in the rain.
Drop by drop, they wipe away my suffering,
Erasing the agony still stinging and lingering.

It's my rain, it's your rain. It's God's tears from above.
It's your pain, it's my blame. Too misguided and ill-fated a love.
It's my choice, it's your voice. My fate has been sealed away.
It's your fret, my regret. I'll still love you all my days.
I'm so blind, yet can't find a reason to keep on loving; nothin' to gain...
It's your curse, it's my hurt; let my drown in the cold rain.

So much to say, but still no other way to make you understand.
I was so alone, feeling it in my very bones, and that's not who I am.
Past forgotten? It's all become rotten, and I can't live anymore.
Where can I go? Everything I know is a lie, and my pleas you'll ignore.
To look into your eyes, to see them as I die, would make my life complete.
The rain's made me numb; I'm acting so dumb, yet the memories of you are so sweet.

It's my rain, it's your rain. It's God's tears from above.
It's your pain, it's my blame. Too misguided and ill-fated a love.
It's my choice, it's your voice. My fate has been sealed away.
It's your fret, my regret. I'll still love you all my days.
I'm so blind, yet can't find a reason to keep on loving; nothin' to gain...
It's your curse, it's my hurt; let my drown in the cold rain.

In my sweetest dreams, it always seems that I can never be satisfied.
My life and my hidden strife will mean nothing since the day I died.
You gave your love to me, saying you knew me, and that I helped you live;
I died away last week, wondering what you think, and how hard it is to forgive.
Death incarnate, I accept my fate, an eternity of solitude;
Wanting human touch, craving it so much, yet I dwell in the dark and brood.

It's my rain, it's your rain. It's God's tears from above.
It's your pain, it's my blame. Too misguided and ill-fated a love.
It's my choice, it's your voice. My fate has been sealed away.
It's your fret, my regret. I'll still love you all my days.
I'm so blind, yet can't find a reason to keep on loving; nothin' to gain...
It's your curse, it's my hurt; let my drown in the cold rain.

The tears mingle, but not a single drop is dropped for me.
Blood flows like water, seeing how I brought her to turn her back on me.
I cry and scream, but like a dream, no one hears my desperate screams.
Words are meaningless, but seeming less real day by day; in my dreams.
Alone in the dark, wanting to restart; "what's your name?"
I can't get over her; still loving her; but things can't be the same.
The wind blows, howling as it goes, chilling me to my soul.
She's all I care for; I love her, therefore, I have to fill my heart's hole.

It's my rain, it's your rain. It's God's tears from above.
It's your pain, it's my blame. Too misguided and ill-fated a love.
It's my choice, it's your voice. My fate has been sealed away.
It's your fret, my regret. I'll still love you all my days.
I'm so blind, yet can't find a reason to keep on loving; nothin' to gain...
It's your curse, it's my hurt; let my drown in the cold rain.

What do I FEEL?! What is REAL?! My life is gone, and I can't take this!
I want to be ALIVE! I need to feel INSIDE! I'll DIE for her tender kiss!
I won't turn back! She's all that I lack! She completes me, makes me whole.
I dream of her, scream for her, and love her with all my heart, body, and soul!
I'll die for her, cry for her, and bleed all that I have to bleed for her.
She's all that I am, makes me a man, and I have an insatiable need for her!
To love her, more than any other, I'll gladly sacrifice all, feel all pain!
Through my behavior I wanted to be her savior, but I can't do anything but drown in this rain!

It's my rain, it's your rain. It's God's tears from above.
It's your pain, it's my blame. Too misguided and ill-fated a love.
It's my choice, it's your voice. My fate has been sealed away.
It's your fret, my regret. I'll still love you all my days.
I'm so blind, yet can't find a reason to keep on loving; nothin' to gain...
It's your curse, it's my hurt; let my drown in the cold rain!

Fatality.

ALLEY CAT

Purged from adolescence,
A virginity so pure,
And that confused little girl,
Waits inside me,
She cries and she shakes,
And she fears all that she is,
An angel at heart,
When pressured she fights,
And lashes out,
Hoping someday,
That she'll be taken away,
So that she may heal,
Waiting, growing impatient,
Ready for the climax so that,
She may grow and be free,
And fly away.

CARPE DIEM

All day I would daydream,
Of when my Prince would find me,
And then there he was riding his valiant white horse,
18, still young, but thats when I fell in love,
Who knew that you were just the villain in disguise,
If I only knew then what I know now,

So I just pick up the pieces,
And kiss them goodbye,
No time to worry,
No time to cry,
Forge on ahead, and you'll find your way,
And you will learn to, seize the day,

I lay and pluck the petals from a dandelion,
Reciting 'he loves me, he loves me not',
When all along I knew deep down inside,
But still I carried on,
Leaving my heart unprotected,
And all too soon,
My open wounds,
Became infected,

So I just pick up the pieces,
And kiss them goodbye,
No time to worry,
No time to cry,
Forge on ahead, and you'll find your way,
And you will learn to, seize the day,

And my heart was broken,
But still I, survived,
And though my soul was shattered,
I, stood with pride,
And I vowed to myself that very same day,
That from now on,
Things will go my way,

So I just picked up the pieces,
And kissed them goodbye,
No time to worry,
No time to cry,
Forge on ahead, and you'll find your way,
And you will learn to, seize the day.

"Forest Silence"
The other day I took a walk in the woods.
I needed the time alone; thought it would do me good.
Just me and God and a world untouched by man,
Walking my own trail and never wondering where I am.
The soft bubbling of the forest brook
Stirred my mind and made my soul shook.
I pressed on, walking through the green paradise,
Self-reflecting on myself, my identity, and lies.

I came across the ruins of a forgotten camp-site.
Buildings in ruins and fearful loathing in the dead of night.
Just me and God, for me to scream his name,
For me to scream my shame and scream my pain.
I was just as forgotten, invisible to men;
I wasn't accepted because of my secret sins.
The sound of something falling had me stalling,
Waiting to see the shadows shift, hear a voice calling.

Four hours to myself in the thick of the forest,
Thinking of my life and how I'm always the poorest
Chooser of character and chooser of identity.
Just me and God, and his words hitting me relentlessly,
Telling me to stop and look at myself for a while,
See my reflection in the stream. Where was my smile?
I left it back about a mile, in the tall grass,
About seven minutes ago under the wooden overpass.
A deer darted by, jerking me to reality,
And as the deer ran away, I was left with my hypocrisy.

I took a walk in the woods to clear my thick head.
No one noticed I was gone; it was like I was dead.
I came back, and my friends were still biding their time,
Laughing to themselves, not wanting to hear me whine.
So I left them again, to dwell on my own,
To seek shelter in the forest and its walls of wooden stone.
No fear this time, just a lifetime of regret.
A peace of solitude I will never forget.

I wanted to see the true me in the thick woods,
Seeking an answer about what I could, would, should
Do and what I will do over time to make things right.
Just me and God, helping each other win the fight.
Loved and unloved, hated and forgiven, laughing and crying;
The woods echo my words, throwing back the untruths I'm buying.
I saw the answers their, and I developed a self-reliance;
I saw a glimpse of the real me, in the deep forest silence.

Fatality.

"Fighter's Mix"
Break down, hear the sound,
Screaming at you from all around.
Fight the fight, feel the light,
Tear through the veil with all your might.
Bones collide, but I won't hide,
Shouting out all that I feel inside.
The rhythmic beat, the white-hot heat,
Telling me to get to my feet; won't accept defeat.
Outstanding! Superb! "Fight" is my Verb,
And I take the fight by the street curb.

C'mon, get up! You haven't had enough!
Take this fight and prove you're that tough.
Fighting for what's real, fight to feel,
Fighting for life, for purpose, for the kill.
A dancing rhythm telling me to hit 'em,
Treat 'em like it's nothing, but don't kid 'em.
Nothing to prove, nothing to lose;
Can't wait, or the chance will fly by as I snooze.
A cold reception, ever since my conception,
But now I have my own fight with this Mortal Deception.

Always for you, everything I do,
Fighting for what I always believed to be true.
The fighter's mix is how I get my kicks,
Taking words and insults as well as stones and sticks.
Facing Dragon kings, of all things,
And soul-suckers and the horrors they bring.
Living weapons of hate, but make no mistake,
A combat collaboration gets me going and seals my fate.
Enough of your boasting; it's all shallow, mostly;
But you'll figure that out soon enough. Toasty!

Fight for what's right, keep the goal in sight,
Survive the night until daylight, so wonderfully bright.
Keep your soul, keep it whole; your on a roll,
But don't lose control! Reach for your goal!
Keep it true, always fighting for you, in all I do;
I'll pull through, because I always knew; immortal kung-fu.
I won't die; the deceptive lie won't make me cry,
And I won't just get by. Gods I defy! Forever I'll try.
As the clock ticks, I feel the nicks, take my licks;
It makes me sick, but something clicks, and then I'm fighting to the fighter's mix.

Fatality.

"Pulse"
Thump, thump, thumb. You make my heart jump;
All the feelings you feed me and energy you pump
Has me banging for more; just open the door,
And let me show you all that's left in store.
A metaphorical hiccup, and you've suddenly had enough,
Jumpin' back and dancing solo, afraid to get rough.
Walk the lonely road then, but you're still my friend,
And we both know that the pulse won't let us end.

Take it all away, just to live another day,
But there's just no way that I can repay
All that you've done for me; won't let me be,
And even through my hypocrisy, you could see
How scared I was inside, in the dark, tryin' to hide,
But you made me come out, and in you I confide.
It goes something like that, but I was a rat,
Missed the goal, fell short, struck out at bat.
Now I'm runnin', always stunnin' and feelin' like I'm gunnin'
For a 10-40 shot in the dark, then I'm done in.

The pulse keeps a-beatin'; nothing good comes from defeatin'
Someone like you, but even our cold meetin'
Was planned from the start, our own heart-to-heart,
But now that that's gone, it tears us apart.
Breathe me in and I'll breathe you out;
Seeing so thin and dreaming, I shout.
Thump, thump, thump. Again my heart jumps.
I feel it as I slump, feeling my blood pump.
So alive, so real inside; can't compromise;
You need to realize how you keep me in surprise.

Now it's another chance to get up and dance.
Maybe then, after the past is gone, we'll advance
Through to the next night, hopefully without a fight;
You control your rage and I won't be so uptight.
My back's against the wall; I gotta take the fall;
I can't stall, so you answer me when I call.
Not just another cheap date; you're part of my fate,
And make no mistake, even now I can relate.
I've been there. I've walked that path, scared.
I do care, and I'll follow you to Satan's lair.
I'll break all the bonds, these false walls of security.
For you, I'll be strong; the Pulse will keep you alive with me.

Fatality.

"The Advent of Soul"
An intoxicated and stimulated rush of emotion,
Filling my head with wild, innoculated notions.
Strapped to my seat, feeling the heat,
And then everything becomes so sugary sweet.
I see her, I see you,
I see everything you do.
I see him, I see me,
I see what I want to see.
Please don't take this away,
This life's so dear to me.
I just want to run away
And find another reality.

Anyone out there?
Anyone hear me?
Does anyone care?
Why do you fear me?
You're my own advent,
My dearest God-send.
Together, we'll be free
Because you mean so much to me.

Backstreet jamming and lyrical slamming,
Leaving a stylish noir world of the damning.
You won't ruin my day with what you might say;
I'll flare up and scare up and tear up the day.
I see life, I see you;
I still don't got a clue.
I see death, I see me;
Just tryin' to rid my hypocrisy.
I always wanted you to know
I loved you from the first second.
Now that I have to go,
My deeds and promises must be reckoned.

Anyone out there?
Anyone hear me?
Does anyone care?
Why do you fear me?
You're my own advent,
My dearest God-send.
Together, we'll be free
Because you mean so much to me.

Cold cash and perpetual rehash
Of the same ol' thing, just to get it bashed.
They scream me out, forcin' their diss,
But the energy's there, and it's sweet bliss.
I see hope, I see you;
I know that we'll pull through.
I see life, I see me;
I see a truth to my fantasy.
And now that I've left your room
I feel there's no turning back.
I hope to see you again soon;
I always want to be where you're at.

Anyone out there?
Anyone hear me?
Does anyone care?
Why do you fear me?
You're my own advent,
My dearest God-send.
Together, we'll be free
Because you mean so much to me.

Fatality.

Where's everyone else? Sheesh, you people are slackers.

"Weight of Fate"
The burden's heavy, but I press on.
Every step hurts, but I follow your song,
Leading me to rest, to a place of peace,
Where my burden grows lighter, and then is released.
The lives of so many rest on my shoulders,
Each person's trust as heavy as boulders.
I don't know if I can make it through,
But I gotta try, because the burden includes you.

The weight of fate brings me down,
So hard to take, my knees hitting the ground.
I don't pray for a lighter burden or for some slack;
I don't pray for help, just a stronger back.

Someone told me one that I was a fool.
He was probably right, because people were tools.
I thought I had power, that I was in control,
And I lost sight of my vision when I was on a roll.
I became something I wasn't, and path I travel grew longer.
I tried to press on, but the weight bearing down grew stronger.
This burden is my own, my own strange doxology.
I'll bear it until they both accept my apology.

The weight of fate brings me down,
So hard to take, my knees hitting the ground.
I don't pray for a lighter burden or for some slack;
I don't pray for help, just a stronger back.

One girl dead, the other so far away.
Such a strange fate to live through day by day.
Out of my luck, I wander the streets,
The dark alley corners, hoping to repeat
The salvation I once found so many years ago.
Unconditional love given to me, and all I know
Is that that love remains, given to me from above.
But the burden remains, given to me by my lost love.

The weight of fate brings me down,
So hard to take, my knees hitting the ground.
I don't pray for a lighter burden or for some slack;
I don't pray for help, just a stronger back.

Fatality.