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Hey Leo, I'm still here. Lol...
easterkeith666@yahoo.com
That's me :D/
easterkeith666@yahoo.com
That's me :D/


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If Episode 25 is mindblowing compared to Ep. 24, I can't wait!! 
0
I read episode 25...... absolutely INSANE!!!
Leo.... Greatness.... that is your new name....
"You done admiring the frame?"
Leo.... Greatness.... that is your new name....
"You done admiring the frame?"


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0
Pastel: "I look forward to seeing you in Sabre's stomach BC! ^_^"
Ugh, I'm really sorry for not posting a review sooner...or For the Last Episode! This whole "restriction" Shit has narrowed my online time during the week drastically...but Meh, it shall be over before Christmas.
At any rate, I'm still going to post a Joint Review of the two episodes....I understand it might be a bit too Long to address everything, and thats of course completely understandable, lol.
But before I review the Episodes, I would like to do Two very quick things:
* Congradulations Logan for winning the Poll!
* The sketch of Leona is amazing! I love her pose, her weapons, and every other little detail. The background makes me think of a Sun setting or a Harvest Moon rising in the distance. I love how you payed so much attention to detail, especially with her Hair, weapons, jewlery, and wardrobe. Its always refreshing to get an updated reminder of what the characters we read about look like, especially when their looks are updated! Once again, Amazing, and I truly look forward to seeing some more in the near future!
(This also reminded me of those Sketches S_S was going to do...but they never came....Ahem
Now, without further Ado....
My Review
Episode 22:
* Of course, begining this intense scene with a bit of Lara Humor was a Nice touch, "I can't walk through wood..." Lmao! Luther's about to lose his patience with Lara not dealing with Vice....I wonder how she's going to get out of this situation? She'll find a way...she always does, lol! Luther's dialouge (Lara's was too, but not as much as Luther in this scene) was strong and meancing. I'm curious to find out a bit more about this "little trip"...hopefully we'll see it blow up in the next few epiosdes! At any rate, a great dialouge scene, and a great opening for an episode!
"Then prove it! You have single handedly brought worlds' greatest leaders to their knees, crushed entire plots against my empire, instilled fear into the hearts of every kingdom, yet you fail to draw information from a worthless dog? "
* Very strong and powerful words flying back and forth between our heroes in this scene. Elandra's lost it, and dared to enter Mace's private life....Poor thing, lol. She's got a lot of nerve, I'll give her that. I wonder if she's going to get her way and send Leona packing? I doubt it.
Another fantastic, Deep dialouge scene! Time to go see what Mace and Leona are talking about.
"You love a serial killer..."
* Wow....this scene literally brought a tear to my eye. Not only Leona's suicidal words, but Especially these paragraphs:
"A tortured exhale from Mace. He hurries close to Leona and sits beside her. His eyes roam the person in front of him... the one who's overflowing with an unusual innocence despite an always-bitter nature... the one who is, to him, like a window showing a twenty-something young girl crying out for an open hand that never comes...
He looks deep within the eyes of the tigress-turned-house pet... ones that could perfectly fit a beautiful child who's never committed one sin in her life. The irony is strangely enticing as it creeps into Mace's mind..."
Finally the moment we have been waiting for between Mace and Leona. Although it is merely a step, its a step in the right direction. I'm glad to see Leona finally taking a break from Vice, and could possibly focusing her attention elsewhere...wonder what that could be? Let's find out!
"But it's time for me to end this. I can't take this burden anymore, Mace. I'm going all-out, and either Vice or I is going to be killed... either way, I'll be free. "
* Its Good to see Leona joining the cause...I can't wait to see her in action when finding those elements!
"I still can't really explain it, but I trust you for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that you've been backing me up despite what and how I am... maybe I just have a sixth sense of some kind. But I trust you. And I want you to know that... ...I'm grateful. "
* Bianca and Vice...executed perfectly! I loved the way this scene played out, exactly the way I imagined it. If I'm not mistaken, this makes DD history, Bianca being the first to actually reveal her whole chest O_O, lol. Well I love the tiny connection these two characters share, even though there really isn't any TRUE emotion there...except maybe...Lust !EEE. Anyway, I just downright loved this scene!
"No...YOU "ain't seen nothing yet"! "
* Yay Vincente's gonna be Okay! What's a little Memory loss? Especially the memory of that Thing I shall not speak of I love how you brought this up again:
"HEALER
Miss Millena. Master Logan.
Logan looks away and rolls his eyes. Millena beams at the Healer. "
To me, that is a big part of Logan's character that a lot of people forget about. (If you don't knwo what I'm talking about, you fail, and need to go back and read Logan's bio.) I just love it when you bring up things like that so subtly! OOooOoOo Zale's up! I'm eagerly awaiting the fight! ^_^ Another amazing scene Leo!
* Drake and his constant lust of Lara and whining are making me Ill -_-. I don't think he eve deserved those weapons, lol they are a bit too cool for him, Lmao.
Hmm...I want to hear more about this Shadow Agency...I love the sound of that! I can't wait to see what's she's cooking up in the next scene!
"Curiosity is fatal, my friend. "
* I loved the short Diavol/Viper scene (I love how you do them in short spurts, to keep us wanting more!). The imagery used to describe the Heiligian Housing was amazing, and put a very vivid, bright and beautiful picture in my head. Hmm...interesting revelation on their part...I'm sure this will definately make Luther get even more restless! Another nicley done scene!
" Quit gawking at the Heiligians' pathetic attempt at a structure and do your job! Luther dislikes lack of efficiency in slaves such as yourself. "
* Poor Foolish Hamon, failed to see through Drake's overly fake masqurade. But hey, they got the gem, and thats what matters!
I couldn't help but laugh at Bianca's wardrobe falling apart. A major turning point in the story, indeed! This is going to be how Lara and Luther discover the truth about Donnovan's plot, which should arc into major and larger things! I just hope my Baby Can succeed. ;-;
"I will never, during all of my eternity, feel shame for being one-upped by you! The line moves forward, "sweetie". I don't NEED Luther to grant me power. I'll attain it eventually. "
* Very short scene, involving Drake getting verbally owned by Pyrros and Elandra...always a fresh relief. So thats how Akio stays alive for so long...quite interesting. A short and sweet Scene! ^_^
* This ending scene is absolutely amazing. Not only does it revive and make fresh the Master/Student relationship, it also explains and elaborates further into the whole "chi" thing, which is actually very interetsing. The dialouge was also very strong and powerful, and made the characters feel more real than ever...a perfect end to a perfect episode!
"I have witnessed Dimentian representatives fight in the tournament before. They are born with annihilative abilities that Earthling souls are denied. Not only that, but the powers I felt coming from them were created from a hunger for violence and a thirst to eradicate their opponent. And THAT makes it weaker than what a fighter such as yourself can accomplish. Trust me, Mace: once you master the art of energy release, you will see how devastating it is against such dark forces. "
I'm not done yet...T_T
Episode 23
* The Mace/Zale fight....Wow....You have an amazing talent Leo. The fight in a whole felt fresh and new...something we've never seen before! Let me start off with the arena: the idea is completely original especially this part:
"We now admire as the same blinding light released by Taranis "seeps" from beneath the mountain and reacts similarly to a viscous, unnaturally-adhesive liquid that expands until the entire ground (all the way to near the stands) is dominated by the heavenly light. "
The imagery used to describe the rugged terain was also pen perfect! It add so much to the fighting as well, the scenery is almost as important as the characters themselves!
(I do howver miss that nosey Swamp Bird -_o)
The Fight starts off with a Bang!
"The two fighters grit their teeth and send flames at each other's eyes as they struggle as opposing forces... until Mace's forearms suddenly flash with a light blue energy that expels Zale from spot and into the air. "
Heiligians always have such kickass weapons....Zale's Lance was mindblowingly awsome! The fight was extremely intense, I had No idea who was going to win! (The tide of battle kept changing favors) The area crumbling and shifting only added to the overall intense feeling and mood of the fight! After a series of amazing mindblowing moves and attacks, Mace was able to overcome his adversary this time...and discovered a few new tricks.
"The Heiligian Zale has been defeated. Mace and Earth win this round of the tournament. "
* A Great Continuation of the Bianca/Lara.Vice plot. Bianca is an amazing actress...or was she acting? Good to always keep the audience guessing...plus you never know with her!
Seems she's gotten a smidge of info from him...but will it be enough?
"Thank you so much, Vice! I owe you my life until the end of my days! "
* A very short scene, showing the effects of the missing gem on Hamon. Pretty interesting...I wonder if Serpy pay enough attention to begin suspecting something and do a bit of digging on his own? I guess we'll have to wait and see.
"My Gem!"
* I loved yet another short Viper/Diavol scenes. Their next task seems a bit tricky...I can't wait to see them pull it off! Diavol is becomming more of an idiot and is getting a bit cocky...-_- I can't wait til Viper tears him apart. A short and sweet Scene, keeping the pot boiling!
"If you ever... betray Luther or I... it is your delectable insides... I will be enjoying next. "
*Defineatly one of my favorite parts of the whole episode was the Lara/Jonathon Flashback! For being so short, it packed quite a punch. It was intense, and so witty at the same time. Of course, we're talking about Lara!
although the fight was short, it showed more of Mace's father and how similar their fight skills are. This scene was an excellant and unexpected addition!
* Uh oh....Valora's in deep Shit now....I can't WAIT to read what happens!
"Feeding time...."
Orgasmic (Leo) as always Leo! Once again, I am sorry for not posting these sooner....long overdue. I hope you can forgive me. And I eagerly awaiting Episode 24!
Ugh, I'm really sorry for not posting a review sooner...or For the Last Episode! This whole "restriction" Shit has narrowed my online time during the week drastically...but Meh, it shall be over before Christmas.
At any rate, I'm still going to post a Joint Review of the two episodes....I understand it might be a bit too Long to address everything, and thats of course completely understandable, lol.
But before I review the Episodes, I would like to do Two very quick things:
* Congradulations Logan for winning the Poll!
* The sketch of Leona is amazing! I love her pose, her weapons, and every other little detail. The background makes me think of a Sun setting or a Harvest Moon rising in the distance. I love how you payed so much attention to detail, especially with her Hair, weapons, jewlery, and wardrobe. Its always refreshing to get an updated reminder of what the characters we read about look like, especially when their looks are updated! Once again, Amazing, and I truly look forward to seeing some more in the near future!
(This also reminded me of those Sketches S_S was going to do...but they never came....Ahem
Now, without further Ado....
My Review
Episode 22:
* Of course, begining this intense scene with a bit of Lara Humor was a Nice touch, "I can't walk through wood..." Lmao! Luther's about to lose his patience with Lara not dealing with Vice....I wonder how she's going to get out of this situation? She'll find a way...she always does, lol! Luther's dialouge (Lara's was too, but not as much as Luther in this scene) was strong and meancing. I'm curious to find out a bit more about this "little trip"...hopefully we'll see it blow up in the next few epiosdes! At any rate, a great dialouge scene, and a great opening for an episode!
"Then prove it! You have single handedly brought worlds' greatest leaders to their knees, crushed entire plots against my empire, instilled fear into the hearts of every kingdom, yet you fail to draw information from a worthless dog? "
* Very strong and powerful words flying back and forth between our heroes in this scene. Elandra's lost it, and dared to enter Mace's private life....Poor thing, lol. She's got a lot of nerve, I'll give her that. I wonder if she's going to get her way and send Leona packing? I doubt it.
"You love a serial killer..."
* Wow....this scene literally brought a tear to my eye. Not only Leona's suicidal words, but Especially these paragraphs:
"A tortured exhale from Mace. He hurries close to Leona and sits beside her. His eyes roam the person in front of him... the one who's overflowing with an unusual innocence despite an always-bitter nature... the one who is, to him, like a window showing a twenty-something young girl crying out for an open hand that never comes...
He looks deep within the eyes of the tigress-turned-house pet... ones that could perfectly fit a beautiful child who's never committed one sin in her life. The irony is strangely enticing as it creeps into Mace's mind..."
Finally the moment we have been waiting for between Mace and Leona. Although it is merely a step, its a step in the right direction. I'm glad to see Leona finally taking a break from Vice, and could possibly focusing her attention elsewhere...wonder what that could be? Let's find out!
"But it's time for me to end this. I can't take this burden anymore, Mace. I'm going all-out, and either Vice or I is going to be killed... either way, I'll be free. "
* Its Good to see Leona joining the cause...I can't wait to see her in action when finding those elements!
"I still can't really explain it, but I trust you for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that you've been backing me up despite what and how I am... maybe I just have a sixth sense of some kind. But I trust you. And I want you to know that... ...I'm grateful. "
* Bianca and Vice...executed perfectly! I loved the way this scene played out, exactly the way I imagined it. If I'm not mistaken, this makes DD history, Bianca being the first to actually reveal her whole chest O_O, lol. Well I love the tiny connection these two characters share, even though there really isn't any TRUE emotion there...except maybe...Lust !EEE. Anyway, I just downright loved this scene!
"No...YOU "ain't seen nothing yet"! "
* Yay Vincente's gonna be Okay! What's a little Memory loss? Especially the memory of that Thing I shall not speak of I love how you brought this up again:
"HEALER
Miss Millena. Master Logan.
Logan looks away and rolls his eyes. Millena beams at the Healer. "
To me, that is a big part of Logan's character that a lot of people forget about. (If you don't knwo what I'm talking about, you fail, and need to go back and read Logan's bio.) I just love it when you bring up things like that so subtly! OOooOoOo Zale's up! I'm eagerly awaiting the fight! ^_^ Another amazing scene Leo!
* Drake and his constant lust of Lara and whining are making me Ill -_-. I don't think he eve deserved those weapons, lol they are a bit too cool for him, Lmao.
"Curiosity is fatal, my friend. "
* I loved the short Diavol/Viper scene (I love how you do them in short spurts, to keep us wanting more!). The imagery used to describe the Heiligian Housing was amazing, and put a very vivid, bright and beautiful picture in my head. Hmm...interesting revelation on their part...I'm sure this will definately make Luther get even more restless! Another nicley done scene!
" Quit gawking at the Heiligians' pathetic attempt at a structure and do your job! Luther dislikes lack of efficiency in slaves such as yourself. "
* Poor Foolish Hamon, failed to see through Drake's overly fake masqurade. But hey, they got the gem, and thats what matters!
I couldn't help but laugh at Bianca's wardrobe falling apart. A major turning point in the story, indeed! This is going to be how Lara and Luther discover the truth about Donnovan's plot, which should arc into major and larger things! I just hope my Baby Can succeed. ;-;
"I will never, during all of my eternity, feel shame for being one-upped by you! The line moves forward, "sweetie". I don't NEED Luther to grant me power. I'll attain it eventually. "
* Very short scene, involving Drake getting verbally owned by Pyrros and Elandra...always a fresh relief. So thats how Akio stays alive for so long...quite interesting. A short and sweet Scene! ^_^
* This ending scene is absolutely amazing. Not only does it revive and make fresh the Master/Student relationship, it also explains and elaborates further into the whole "chi" thing, which is actually very interetsing. The dialouge was also very strong and powerful, and made the characters feel more real than ever...a perfect end to a perfect episode!
"I have witnessed Dimentian representatives fight in the tournament before. They are born with annihilative abilities that Earthling souls are denied. Not only that, but the powers I felt coming from them were created from a hunger for violence and a thirst to eradicate their opponent. And THAT makes it weaker than what a fighter such as yourself can accomplish. Trust me, Mace: once you master the art of energy release, you will see how devastating it is against such dark forces. "
I'm not done yet...T_T
Episode 23
* The Mace/Zale fight....Wow....You have an amazing talent Leo. The fight in a whole felt fresh and new...something we've never seen before! Let me start off with the arena: the idea is completely original especially this part:
"We now admire as the same blinding light released by Taranis "seeps" from beneath the mountain and reacts similarly to a viscous, unnaturally-adhesive liquid that expands until the entire ground (all the way to near the stands) is dominated by the heavenly light. "
The imagery used to describe the rugged terain was also pen perfect! It add so much to the fighting as well, the scenery is almost as important as the characters themselves!
(I do howver miss that nosey Swamp Bird -_o)
The Fight starts off with a Bang!
"The two fighters grit their teeth and send flames at each other's eyes as they struggle as opposing forces... until Mace's forearms suddenly flash with a light blue energy that expels Zale from spot and into the air. "
Heiligians always have such kickass weapons....Zale's Lance was mindblowingly awsome! The fight was extremely intense, I had No idea who was going to win! (The tide of battle kept changing favors) The area crumbling and shifting only added to the overall intense feeling and mood of the fight! After a series of amazing mindblowing moves and attacks, Mace was able to overcome his adversary this time...and discovered a few new tricks.
"The Heiligian Zale has been defeated. Mace and Earth win this round of the tournament. "
* A Great Continuation of the Bianca/Lara.Vice plot. Bianca is an amazing actress...or was she acting? Good to always keep the audience guessing...plus you never know with her!
"Thank you so much, Vice! I owe you my life until the end of my days! "
* A very short scene, showing the effects of the missing gem on Hamon. Pretty interesting...I wonder if Serpy pay enough attention to begin suspecting something and do a bit of digging on his own? I guess we'll have to wait and see.
"My Gem!"
* I loved yet another short Viper/Diavol scenes. Their next task seems a bit tricky...I can't wait to see them pull it off! Diavol is becomming more of an idiot and is getting a bit cocky...-_- I can't wait til Viper tears him apart. A short and sweet Scene, keeping the pot boiling!
"If you ever... betray Luther or I... it is your delectable insides... I will be enjoying next. "
*Defineatly one of my favorite parts of the whole episode was the Lara/Jonathon Flashback! For being so short, it packed quite a punch. It was intense, and so witty at the same time. Of course, we're talking about Lara!
* Uh oh....Valora's in deep Shit now....I can't WAIT to read what happens!
"Feeding time...."
Orgasmic (Leo) as always Leo! Once again, I am sorry for not posting these sooner....long overdue. I hope you can forgive me. And I eagerly awaiting Episode 24!
While the fate of the opressed community is decided, so is the fate of Viro, the once horrifying killer, now under the merciless power of Miss Lara Dalton.
Ep. 25 is more than halfway done.
Enjoy!


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This was a truly awesome episode, and I can't wait to see the sure to be amazing Ep. 25 


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Alrighty, here is the 'review' I wrote for ep. 24 for all to see:
This is another great one in the Annals of Greatness from Leo :D
Once again, you manage the perfect balance between dialog and action. The entire encounter with Sabre had be on the edge of my seat, very worried for Donnovans continued health....he's insane for charging that beast so many times, lol! But, ya can't be heroic by sitting on the sidelines, I suppose. I loved how we were able to have a great battle between Luther's generals and Donnovan, and later Elandra. I knew as soon as the magenta boot smacked Donnovan's face that the Elandra and Bianca would have another little show down, and this was amazing!
It's great to see how Elandra has to deal with Bianca's otherworldly powers, and I must say she handled herself quite well! It was also great to see some dynamic from the fleeing citizens of Valora, all too often in action scene setups (not yours, though) the people that are supposed to be the reason for conflict are forgotten until the action piece is over; it made it more realistic to actually see them fleeing, to feel their fear as they ran from Sabre.
Of course Lara was memorable as always in this episode...her special brand of sarcasm and sordid humor holds a special place in my heart :D I was slightly surprised that she would so willingly hand over Viper...it makes sense in the end, but I am wondering what her end game will be. I am still convinced that everything will unravel for her at the most inopportune time....if you've got your hand in everything, SOMETHING's gonna go wrong.
I am wondering how true Master Akio's words were to Lara though, about him truly seeing through her....maybe he's just saying that so Akio will stay off of his back? That'll be interesting to see. He does have a relationship with Leona to expound upon, though, so that'll be another interesting facet.
I am looking forward to seeing how things with Hamon and Davila will shape up, as well as every bloody thing else! You've got a knack for cliff hangers, and I love it!
Thanks for writing yet another great piece for us simpletons to enjoy :)
This is another great one in the Annals of Greatness from Leo :D
Once again, you manage the perfect balance between dialog and action. The entire encounter with Sabre had be on the edge of my seat, very worried for Donnovans continued health....he's insane for charging that beast so many times, lol! But, ya can't be heroic by sitting on the sidelines, I suppose. I loved how we were able to have a great battle between Luther's generals and Donnovan, and later Elandra. I knew as soon as the magenta boot smacked Donnovan's face that the Elandra and Bianca would have another little show down, and this was amazing!
It's great to see how Elandra has to deal with Bianca's otherworldly powers, and I must say she handled herself quite well! It was also great to see some dynamic from the fleeing citizens of Valora, all too often in action scene setups (not yours, though) the people that are supposed to be the reason for conflict are forgotten until the action piece is over; it made it more realistic to actually see them fleeing, to feel their fear as they ran from Sabre.
Of course Lara was memorable as always in this episode...her special brand of sarcasm and sordid humor holds a special place in my heart :D I was slightly surprised that she would so willingly hand over Viper...it makes sense in the end, but I am wondering what her end game will be. I am still convinced that everything will unravel for her at the most inopportune time....if you've got your hand in everything, SOMETHING's gonna go wrong.
I am wondering how true Master Akio's words were to Lara though, about him truly seeing through her....maybe he's just saying that so Akio will stay off of his back? That'll be interesting to see. He does have a relationship with Leona to expound upon, though, so that'll be another interesting facet.
I am looking forward to seeing how things with Hamon and Davila will shape up, as well as every bloody thing else! You've got a knack for cliff hangers, and I love it!
Thanks for writing yet another great piece for us simpletons to enjoy :)


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Wow....I'm still breathless! (Notice I didn't say speechless -_o) This episode was amazing...no....it was ORGASMIC (Leo). I read it like, 7 or 8 times and had goosebumps every time! Now that's a work of literary art!
Now for my review! ^_^
* The dialogue between Luther/Donnovan (and a Little Serpy) was amazing and tense. Great way to set the Mood for this type of scene! I love how Donnovan is the one man standing against Luther to defend his home, literally. This attacks are fierce and quick, showing just how powerful Donnovan is, especially when it comes to defending his people.
I just love Maverick's magic! The imagery used to describe the Serpents and the Wave of Liquid was outstanding! He's got quite a lot of trick up the old sleeve of his robe, eh?
Finally, we get to see my big scaley man in action! He does pretty well (especially since its like, his debut battle
) and his attacks are very ferocious and deadly! (Especially when he attempts to double impale Donnovan's neck! =O I also found his specials later used, such as his Magical projectiles, Tounge, and regerneration were also splendidly done!)
Elandra arrives at the scene, with a nice little flashy entry. Looks like Donnovan could use a little help...but will it be enough to stop the big bad Sabre? We'll have to wait and see!
"I want this city wiped off the face of my world, with decaying bodies of man, woman, and child decorating the landscape!"
* Short and sweet scene to wrap up the latest tournament fight. I love how Lara caught Mace's eye with just a tiny smile from such a distance...she's still got quite a hold on him. Same with Logan, lmao! When will he listen to his sister and stay away from her?
Interesting...Lara's really going to give up the increasingly annoying Viro? At least now, she won't attain future wrinkles thanks to him. I wonder what's really going on....hopefully we'll see it shortly!
"How thankful would you be if I handed you Viro on a silver platter?"
* The intense battles between Donnovan and Luther's Generals continue. I thought it was pretty cool when Bianca and Serpen Kia attacked Donnovan at the same time with the same attack, idk it just made me all tingly on the inside to see my two creations fight similarly given their relationship.
I just loved the little bit with Donnovan and Sabre! (Just how kickass would that Boss Battle be, in lets say a game like GOW?) Not only did it serve as a reminder to Sabre's monsterous size and might, but also a testament to Donnovan's courage and will to protect his people. Just something tiny I enjoyed. ^_^
The Bianca/Donnovan dialogue was executed perfectly! I thought it would be a good idea to give her some sort of interaction with Donnovan, yet keep it exciting and enjoyable rather than just a standard "I'm evil, your good" thing. It added a lot to their little rumble, and for that Leo, Thank you very much!
Like S_S said, I really did enjoy how you made the fleeing citizens of Valora realistic and part of the action. I could almost taste their fear as they endured their well deserved punishment at the hands of Sabre and Luther's generals. It added a lot to the scene and made it even better!
* Poor weak Viro, he was more whiney and annyoing than usual. For a split second there, I really thought Lara had defeated Logan for him, lmao how foolish was I? I love how Logan completely disregarded Viro's plees, and how Lara taunted him. I really thought this was his end....until good ole Millena showed up to save the day. Oh well, Viro's caught now and out of Lara's hair for good.....for now. Excellent scene Leo!
"SHE IS THE EPITOME OF DECEPTION!"
* Looks like Donnovan and Elandra were able to save a few of the villagers....but sadly, the town was irradicated. Luther is fully aware of Pyrros' presence, yet no proof...that would be tricky to explain. Pyrros saves the day (poor Sabre and Bianca
) and Elandra and Donnovan escape with their lives. Great End, to an amazing scene!!!
"This attack has come to an end! Valora is no more, and all of Dimentia will soon know the extent of my power! I order you all to return to the Fortress at once... but bring Donnovan and the Earthling's head with you!"
* This scene was so intense dialogue wise! (with a slight humorus break of that bad spy Drake, lmao
) The dialogue between Master Akio and Mace was strong and powerful. I wonder if Akio's words were enough to finally get through to Mace? We'll just have to wait and see...yet another amazing dialogue scene!
"When that woman approached me that day, I felt something unlike I have ever felt in my innumerable years of life. This very room vanished and was replaced by intense and evil darkness that followed in her stride. I felt a void in my very soul when she looked into my eyes. Her beauty is enchanting, but those eyes... they are a portal to hell itself, Mace. That woman is driven by malevolence and deadly selfishness. She will allow you to sink further and further into the abyss of her trickery as long as she is drawing something from it."
* Bianca succeeded in her little spy mission thankfully! ^_^ Also it now seems that the Villians know of the element plot...I wonder how they plan on putting an end to it? Should be interesting to see in future episodes!
"Unbelieveable..."
* The Last scene was an amazing finish! Such strong dialouge between the two, I could literally feel the heat from the words of the coversation! What a cliffhanger!1!1! O_O I can't wait to see what's going to happen in Episode 25!
"No one defies me and walks away unharmed. Prepare for the worst and maybe the last time of your miserable life!"
All in all, this episode was absolutelty amazing and this hands down has to be one of my favorites. Thank you for writing yet another masterpiece, and I am eagerly awaiting the next one!
-B_C
Now for my review! ^_^
* The dialogue between Luther/Donnovan (and a Little Serpy) was amazing and tense. Great way to set the Mood for this type of scene! I love how Donnovan is the one man standing against Luther to defend his home, literally. This attacks are fierce and quick, showing just how powerful Donnovan is, especially when it comes to defending his people.
I just love Maverick's magic! The imagery used to describe the Serpents and the Wave of Liquid was outstanding! He's got quite a lot of trick up the old sleeve of his robe, eh?
Finally, we get to see my big scaley man in action! He does pretty well (especially since its like, his debut battle
Elandra arrives at the scene, with a nice little flashy entry. Looks like Donnovan could use a little help...but will it be enough to stop the big bad Sabre? We'll have to wait and see!
"I want this city wiped off the face of my world, with decaying bodies of man, woman, and child decorating the landscape!"
* Short and sweet scene to wrap up the latest tournament fight. I love how Lara caught Mace's eye with just a tiny smile from such a distance...she's still got quite a hold on him. Same with Logan, lmao! When will he listen to his sister and stay away from her?
Interesting...Lara's really going to give up the increasingly annoying Viro? At least now, she won't attain future wrinkles thanks to him. I wonder what's really going on....hopefully we'll see it shortly!
"How thankful would you be if I handed you Viro on a silver platter?"
* The intense battles between Donnovan and Luther's Generals continue. I thought it was pretty cool when Bianca and Serpen Kia attacked Donnovan at the same time with the same attack, idk it just made me all tingly on the inside to see my two creations fight similarly given their relationship.
I just loved the little bit with Donnovan and Sabre! (Just how kickass would that Boss Battle be, in lets say a game like GOW?) Not only did it serve as a reminder to Sabre's monsterous size and might, but also a testament to Donnovan's courage and will to protect his people. Just something tiny I enjoyed. ^_^
The Bianca/Donnovan dialogue was executed perfectly! I thought it would be a good idea to give her some sort of interaction with Donnovan, yet keep it exciting and enjoyable rather than just a standard "I'm evil, your good" thing. It added a lot to their little rumble, and for that Leo, Thank you very much!
Like S_S said, I really did enjoy how you made the fleeing citizens of Valora realistic and part of the action. I could almost taste their fear as they endured their well deserved punishment at the hands of Sabre and Luther's generals. It added a lot to the scene and made it even better!
* Poor weak Viro, he was more whiney and annyoing than usual. For a split second there, I really thought Lara had defeated Logan for him, lmao how foolish was I? I love how Logan completely disregarded Viro's plees, and how Lara taunted him. I really thought this was his end....until good ole Millena showed up to save the day. Oh well, Viro's caught now and out of Lara's hair for good.....for now. Excellent scene Leo!
"SHE IS THE EPITOME OF DECEPTION!"
* Looks like Donnovan and Elandra were able to save a few of the villagers....but sadly, the town was irradicated. Luther is fully aware of Pyrros' presence, yet no proof...that would be tricky to explain. Pyrros saves the day (poor Sabre and Bianca
"This attack has come to an end! Valora is no more, and all of Dimentia will soon know the extent of my power! I order you all to return to the Fortress at once... but bring Donnovan and the Earthling's head with you!"
* This scene was so intense dialogue wise! (with a slight humorus break of that bad spy Drake, lmao
"When that woman approached me that day, I felt something unlike I have ever felt in my innumerable years of life. This very room vanished and was replaced by intense and evil darkness that followed in her stride. I felt a void in my very soul when she looked into my eyes. Her beauty is enchanting, but those eyes... they are a portal to hell itself, Mace. That woman is driven by malevolence and deadly selfishness. She will allow you to sink further and further into the abyss of her trickery as long as she is drawing something from it."
* Bianca succeeded in her little spy mission thankfully! ^_^ Also it now seems that the Villians know of the element plot...I wonder how they plan on putting an end to it? Should be interesting to see in future episodes!
"Unbelieveable..."
* The Last scene was an amazing finish! Such strong dialouge between the two, I could literally feel the heat from the words of the coversation! What a cliffhanger!1!1! O_O I can't wait to see what's going to happen in Episode 25!
"No one defies me and walks away unharmed. Prepare for the worst and maybe the last time of your miserable life!"
All in all, this episode was absolutelty amazing and this hands down has to be one of my favorites. Thank you for writing yet another masterpiece, and I am eagerly awaiting the next one!
-B_C
I thought I'd try my hand at placing a review over Leo's critically acclaimed series, "Deadly Dominion."
Dissecting Scene by Scene- I'm not really sure on how y'all create a proper format, so if someone wants to throw me a template, that'd be swell.
NOW.
I'll have to admit, seeing is believing. Or in this case, reading. I remember quite vividly our little run-through with all these characters over MSN, and how you described each one with such flair and passion, down to the very last detail, almost as if Deadly Dominion pumps the very blood of you throughout your veins. I could tell from your hyperbolic descriptions that this would be a series worth getting into.
And how you delivered.
Each scene, each paragraph, each line, each word left me enthralled. Your talent is far superior than that of any other person's that I know. Your ability as a writer leaves me speechless after every paragraph (I've just finished reading it over for the 3rd time), and I can't wait for future episodes *hint-hint*.
We've wasted so much time reading my sympathetic appraisal, let's get moving.
===========================================================
Based upon your descriptions, I've pictured Valora as Vancouver's "Chinatown." Just the right mix of ying and yang, in my opinion. Somehow, I see the Dementian militants and Sabre as though Shao Kahn had just invaded earth in MK2 (that's a compliment!). I feel as though I'm witnessing the horror and macabre you have so skillfully distinguished for myself, set dead pool amidst the citizens of Valora. We've all huddled together in fear of Luther's omnipotence, his vast forces overshadowing the barren gravel until...
"...Donnovan races out of his hiding spot and stuns Luther and his forces by standing in Sabres way, sword drawn." (pg. 1, par. 4)
You can almost hear the heroic symphony crescendo as the universe stands still, and not a soul breathes as Donnovan glares down the army in defiance. The mark of a true warrior, his sword poised, ready to dismember any imbecile who dares challenge the blue-steel quivering in his hands. Really breath-taking Leo, I must say.
As the scene progressed I did rather enjoyed Serpen-Kia's comedic interjection and willingness to rise to the occasion and clash with Donnovan. That would have been an interesting altercation, in my opinion, but thankfully we're treated to a 3 on 1 brawl further on to make up for missed blades.
Luther (CONT'D)
[louder, to his forces]
"The one of you who brings me the rebel's body bloodied body will reside in the palatial quarters of the fortress.
[to Donnovan]
Good luck." (pg. 2, par. 7)
And so it began.. at least for myself. I had a few moments where I'd grin out of pure amusement. Donnovan's Dementian Massacre, it should be called. As the beast was let loose, I was so sure Donnovan would be jolting in the other direction, his tail cowering between his legs. It was a nice surprise to see him go directly for the beast, annihilating the passer-by as he made his way to the savage monstrosity. And then...
BAM.
Serpents? Maverick, please. Take those bitch ass wanna be little garden snake ass hoes you got going on and shine 'em, make it sticky, and shove 'em straight up your candy ass!
But seriously.
Maverick is a hoe.
===========================================================
And here we have Pyrros doing his god-like thang, kickin it, keepin shit real with his badass fire-water-in-my-hand-at-the-same-time trick he got goin on. And, oh, look!
It's Elawndra, going
at Pyrros' David Blaine rip-off show. NEGRO PLZ. Elandra, get yo bitch ass movin' and help my negro Donnovan! Geeze, do a playa gots to get shit done hisself 'round here?
(LOL, alright, two things)
A) I really didn't know how Elandra was going to equate the situation in Donnovan's case. In fact, if we were to put Donnovan and the Dementian Warriors as teams, adding Elandra on Donnovan's team is like minusing a player. So... what the fuck?
B) Pyrros, we already know you're an Elemental supremity, why show Elandra that shit when Donnovan is crucially outnumbered? If you really want to impress me, go take on Luther, you pansy ass motherfucker.
.. Okay I admit, this scene really wasn't worth the paragraphs, I just needed a filler.
===========================================================
As we re-enter Valora, I envisioned red smoke fanning from the eradicated buildings, assuming Sabre had done his job like a good puppy. The descriptive fighting from both parties had me rocking on my seat. I really shouldn't trail on about how great and how colorful the violence was.. because you already know you did an excellent job! Let's move on to Mr. Logan's penis.
===========================================================
I'm going to take a stab at the dark and assume that Logan's mom never taught him to talk to Class A, Penis-Jerking, Anal-Loving, Double-Penetration-Taking, Exonorated BITCH waving "casually" and "innocently" at you. WHAT THE HELL LOGAN? Take off your fucking hoody and THINK.
LARA. IS. A. CLASS. A.
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
good person.
So why trust the fiend? If Logan were an actual person, I'd take initiative and sever his penis. She wants to "help" you? Why, cause she's a good samaritan I bet? I'm really sorry Leo, but that bitch reminds me of too many women I know (minus the cold blooded, dangerous killer part). So for LOGAN, the guy who won BEST MALE CHARACTER, to actually believe the shit that came out of this girl's mouth really irritated me. God, Millena doesn't even trust her, and I don't ever agree with sisters! Ever! Ack, you fucking kook, Logan, I'll get back to your ass.
===========================================================
And here we are once again, in the thick of battle. I really enjoy the back-and-forth switches readers partake in while reading the dialouge, it's quite interesting to see a person's mood change from absolutely pissed to eyebrow-crunching seriousness. I like how Donnovan is getting gang-raped via Serpen-Kia/Maverick when we return to Valora after reading about that cunt Logan. Really spices up the mood.
"Dropping out of the sky is now Serpen-Kia with a frenetic glare in his eyes. His mouth parts to form a depth of pointed teeth that pelt with the sole purpose of penetrating/Donnovan's flesh." (pg. 9/10, par. 8/1)
Oh boy, I hope he brushes.
And like all other battles you've narrated, this one flows beautifully. It was as though I was reading poetry and not gazing upon large black print. I cast myself inbetween the action, like Harry Potter can gaze into the pensieve and re-live the moment as though he is actually witnessing the event. It seems so.. real. Each movement and action Donnovan/Serpen-Kia/Maverick display run clearly through my head, and I can't say I didn't enjoy every single moment of it. Maverick's witty lines didn't hurt, either, although I must say, I missed Bian...
MAVERICK
(to Bianca and Serpen-Kia)
Kill him! (pg. 11, par. 6)
THERE SHE IS!
Oho, here come's Ms. Feisty! Really have to mention that I adore this character, and not just because she slept with Vice (who happens to be a criminal badass in my mind,) but because she knows how to lay the smackdown on some big boys! I'd never envisioned Bianca with weapons until now.. looks like Donnovan is in trouble
[At this rate we're going to be reading forever, so let's just skip ahead]
===========================================================
HERE'S WHERE I WAS CRUSHED!
Now, call me the minority, but I absolutely symphathized with Viro. I mean, come on, who the hell wouldn't feel bad for the person who registers as "personal-bitch-of-the-bitchqueen" HMMMMMMM? Anyways, Viro's and Lara's dialouge was quiet interesting and detailed.. it goes to show even though youv'e take one too many dicks to the face, you can still be a pretty good liar. But not about taking dicks to the face.
Once again, after scrolling down a bit, I felt even more compassion for Viro. I'm willing to bet my lunch that he's unravelled as someone none of us fan-boys/girls expected. He's my favourite character #2.
Transport a few pages down.... and oh.
Logan, Mr. Tough Guy, taking on Viro when he doesn't have the capacity to even stand! Real brave, cuntface. God, does Logan piss me off. He needs to stop thinking with his cock, or grow one and not use it at all.
[I'm really getting carried away here... sorry you guys. lol]
===========================================================
One of the more heart-warming scenes, I felt, was the conversation exchanged between Mace and Akio. Unlike that dickless pineapple Logan, Mace still has some sense inbetween his legs, and I bless Master Akio in all languages for showing that to him. I smiled a bit at the analogy of Master Akio contrasting himself as Mace's "second father." It really gave me this.. heartwarming feeling. Great job on that Leo, it's definitley something I'd expect of an old mentor.
Oh, I forgot, wtF is Drake doing here? I'm just going to leave him alone, his lines never happened for me.
The continued colloquy between "father and son" was executed perfectly... I started playing some sad, this-is-serious-son type of music on my iTunes while I was reading it. The camera-work portions of this scene were smashing as well, as I could once again see the beauty of this scene unfold before me all. In. My. head.
===========================================================
Valora- Donnovan kicking ass again. Elandra runs away, Bianca gets mad, Serpen gets Kia, and Luther pops a blood vessel.
===========================================================
Now here's where it got interesting for me..... the Bianca/Lara exchange. It still surprised me to see Bianca absolutely clueless to Lara's BULLSHIT. Just for laughs, Lara seeping through the door in gas-like-form really scared the shit out of me. Their short mini-log gave me quite the laugh though, as we could see into both of the character's minds at the same time, something not often done in stories.
===========================================================
Ah.. the last scene. My fingertips really hurt.. and so does my ass. I've actually been holding in my gas for so long.. my stomach feels like it's about to implode. But wait! Not before Akio totally BITCHSLAPS that BITCH LARA VERBALLY!
AKIO
"It dishartens me to see someone with a dark soul... but it dishartens me even more when the dark soul is content in being dark." (pg. 49, par. 8)
Eat that, bitch! Akio falls into favourite character #3. He definitely reminds me of my father in his own way.
The finishing lines that end with Lara rending Akio's hand with her whippy-thinggy definitley have me excited for the following episode! I can't wait to see what you've got hiding behind that link for us, Leo! Thanks so much for supplying me with a great 2 hours of reading!
Dissecting Scene by Scene- I'm not really sure on how y'all create a proper format, so if someone wants to throw me a template, that'd be swell.
NOW.
I'll have to admit, seeing is believing. Or in this case, reading. I remember quite vividly our little run-through with all these characters over MSN, and how you described each one with such flair and passion, down to the very last detail, almost as if Deadly Dominion pumps the very blood of you throughout your veins. I could tell from your hyperbolic descriptions that this would be a series worth getting into.
And how you delivered.
Each scene, each paragraph, each line, each word left me enthralled. Your talent is far superior than that of any other person's that I know. Your ability as a writer leaves me speechless after every paragraph (I've just finished reading it over for the 3rd time), and I can't wait for future episodes *hint-hint*.
We've wasted so much time reading my sympathetic appraisal, let's get moving.
===========================================================
Based upon your descriptions, I've pictured Valora as Vancouver's "Chinatown." Just the right mix of ying and yang, in my opinion. Somehow, I see the Dementian militants and Sabre as though Shao Kahn had just invaded earth in MK2 (that's a compliment!). I feel as though I'm witnessing the horror and macabre you have so skillfully distinguished for myself, set dead pool amidst the citizens of Valora. We've all huddled together in fear of Luther's omnipotence, his vast forces overshadowing the barren gravel until...
"...Donnovan races out of his hiding spot and stuns Luther and his forces by standing in Sabres way, sword drawn." (pg. 1, par. 4)
You can almost hear the heroic symphony crescendo as the universe stands still, and not a soul breathes as Donnovan glares down the army in defiance. The mark of a true warrior, his sword poised, ready to dismember any imbecile who dares challenge the blue-steel quivering in his hands. Really breath-taking Leo, I must say.
As the scene progressed I did rather enjoyed Serpen-Kia's comedic interjection and willingness to rise to the occasion and clash with Donnovan. That would have been an interesting altercation, in my opinion, but thankfully we're treated to a 3 on 1 brawl further on to make up for missed blades.
Luther (CONT'D)
[louder, to his forces]
"The one of you who brings me the rebel's body bloodied body will reside in the palatial quarters of the fortress.
[to Donnovan]
Good luck." (pg. 2, par. 7)
And so it began.. at least for myself. I had a few moments where I'd grin out of pure amusement. Donnovan's Dementian Massacre, it should be called. As the beast was let loose, I was so sure Donnovan would be jolting in the other direction, his tail cowering between his legs. It was a nice surprise to see him go directly for the beast, annihilating the passer-by as he made his way to the savage monstrosity. And then...
BAM.
Serpents? Maverick, please. Take those bitch ass wanna be little garden snake ass hoes you got going on and shine 'em, make it sticky, and shove 'em straight up your candy ass!
But seriously.
Maverick is a hoe.
===========================================================
And here we have Pyrros doing his god-like thang, kickin it, keepin shit real with his badass fire-water-in-my-hand-at-the-same-time trick he got goin on. And, oh, look!
It's Elawndra, going

(LOL, alright, two things)
A) I really didn't know how Elandra was going to equate the situation in Donnovan's case. In fact, if we were to put Donnovan and the Dementian Warriors as teams, adding Elandra on Donnovan's team is like minusing a player. So... what the fuck?
B) Pyrros, we already know you're an Elemental supremity, why show Elandra that shit when Donnovan is crucially outnumbered? If you really want to impress me, go take on Luther, you pansy ass motherfucker.
.. Okay I admit, this scene really wasn't worth the paragraphs, I just needed a filler.
===========================================================
As we re-enter Valora, I envisioned red smoke fanning from the eradicated buildings, assuming Sabre had done his job like a good puppy. The descriptive fighting from both parties had me rocking on my seat. I really shouldn't trail on about how great and how colorful the violence was.. because you already know you did an excellent job! Let's move on to Mr. Logan's penis.
===========================================================
I'm going to take a stab at the dark and assume that Logan's mom never taught him to talk to Class A, Penis-Jerking, Anal-Loving, Double-Penetration-Taking, Exonorated BITCH waving "casually" and "innocently" at you. WHAT THE HELL LOGAN? Take off your fucking hoody and THINK.
LARA. IS. A. CLASS. A.
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
good person.
So why trust the fiend? If Logan were an actual person, I'd take initiative and sever his penis. She wants to "help" you? Why, cause she's a good samaritan I bet? I'm really sorry Leo, but that bitch reminds me of too many women I know (minus the cold blooded, dangerous killer part). So for LOGAN, the guy who won BEST MALE CHARACTER, to actually believe the shit that came out of this girl's mouth really irritated me. God, Millena doesn't even trust her, and I don't ever agree with sisters! Ever! Ack, you fucking kook, Logan, I'll get back to your ass.
===========================================================
And here we are once again, in the thick of battle. I really enjoy the back-and-forth switches readers partake in while reading the dialouge, it's quite interesting to see a person's mood change from absolutely pissed to eyebrow-crunching seriousness. I like how Donnovan is getting gang-raped via Serpen-Kia/Maverick when we return to Valora after reading about that cunt Logan. Really spices up the mood.
"Dropping out of the sky is now Serpen-Kia with a frenetic glare in his eyes. His mouth parts to form a depth of pointed teeth that pelt with the sole purpose of penetrating/Donnovan's flesh." (pg. 9/10, par. 8/1)
Oh boy, I hope he brushes.
And like all other battles you've narrated, this one flows beautifully. It was as though I was reading poetry and not gazing upon large black print. I cast myself inbetween the action, like Harry Potter can gaze into the pensieve and re-live the moment as though he is actually witnessing the event. It seems so.. real. Each movement and action Donnovan/Serpen-Kia/Maverick display run clearly through my head, and I can't say I didn't enjoy every single moment of it. Maverick's witty lines didn't hurt, either, although I must say, I missed Bian...
MAVERICK
(to Bianca and Serpen-Kia)
Kill him! (pg. 11, par. 6)
THERE SHE IS!
Oho, here come's Ms. Feisty! Really have to mention that I adore this character, and not just because she slept with Vice (who happens to be a criminal badass in my mind,) but because she knows how to lay the smackdown on some big boys! I'd never envisioned Bianca with weapons until now.. looks like Donnovan is in trouble
[At this rate we're going to be reading forever, so let's just skip ahead]
===========================================================
HERE'S WHERE I WAS CRUSHED!
Now, call me the minority, but I absolutely symphathized with Viro. I mean, come on, who the hell wouldn't feel bad for the person who registers as "personal-bitch-of-the-bitchqueen" HMMMMMMM? Anyways, Viro's and Lara's dialouge was quiet interesting and detailed.. it goes to show even though youv'e take one too many dicks to the face, you can still be a pretty good liar. But not about taking dicks to the face.
Once again, after scrolling down a bit, I felt even more compassion for Viro. I'm willing to bet my lunch that he's unravelled as someone none of us fan-boys/girls expected. He's my favourite character #2.
Transport a few pages down.... and oh.
Logan, Mr. Tough Guy, taking on Viro when he doesn't have the capacity to even stand! Real brave, cuntface. God, does Logan piss me off. He needs to stop thinking with his cock, or grow one and not use it at all.
[I'm really getting carried away here... sorry you guys. lol]
===========================================================
One of the more heart-warming scenes, I felt, was the conversation exchanged between Mace and Akio. Unlike that dickless pineapple Logan, Mace still has some sense inbetween his legs, and I bless Master Akio in all languages for showing that to him. I smiled a bit at the analogy of Master Akio contrasting himself as Mace's "second father." It really gave me this.. heartwarming feeling. Great job on that Leo, it's definitley something I'd expect of an old mentor.
Oh, I forgot, wtF is Drake doing here? I'm just going to leave him alone, his lines never happened for me.
The continued colloquy between "father and son" was executed perfectly... I started playing some sad, this-is-serious-son type of music on my iTunes while I was reading it. The camera-work portions of this scene were smashing as well, as I could once again see the beauty of this scene unfold before me all. In. My. head.
===========================================================
Valora- Donnovan kicking ass again. Elandra runs away, Bianca gets mad, Serpen gets Kia, and Luther pops a blood vessel.
===========================================================
Now here's where it got interesting for me..... the Bianca/Lara exchange. It still surprised me to see Bianca absolutely clueless to Lara's BULLSHIT. Just for laughs, Lara seeping through the door in gas-like-form really scared the shit out of me. Their short mini-log gave me quite the laugh though, as we could see into both of the character's minds at the same time, something not often done in stories.
===========================================================
Ah.. the last scene. My fingertips really hurt.. and so does my ass. I've actually been holding in my gas for so long.. my stomach feels like it's about to implode. But wait! Not before Akio totally BITCHSLAPS that BITCH LARA VERBALLY!
AKIO
"It dishartens me to see someone with a dark soul... but it dishartens me even more when the dark soul is content in being dark." (pg. 49, par. 8)
Eat that, bitch! Akio falls into favourite character #3. He definitely reminds me of my father in his own way.
The finishing lines that end with Lara rending Akio's hand with her whippy-thinggy definitley have me excited for the following episode! I can't wait to see what you've got hiding behind that link for us, Leo! Thanks so much for supplying me with a great 2 hours of reading!
(DP)
Alright, to avoid any speculation or dramatic "let's-hate-on-X" bullshit, I want to make it clear that I do NOT hate Lara. I simply got carried away within my review and went off on a tangent... Lara reminds me of a certain girl I know, and I implemented my feelings for said-girl onto my review, using Lara as a facade.
Lara is my <3, don't mess.
Alright, to avoid any speculation or dramatic "let's-hate-on-X" bullshit, I want to make it clear that I do NOT hate Lara. I simply got carried away within my review and went off on a tangent... Lara reminds me of a certain girl I know, and I implemented my feelings for said-girl onto my review, using Lara as a facade.
Lara is my <3, don't mess.


About Me
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Thanks for the update Leo
Hope every thing's alright!
Hope every thing's alright!


About Me
<img src=http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/3108/avy2iq6.gif
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Wow what a great episode! That was a great episode 5 stars, these keep getting better each episode I can't believe the things happening.
The twists
The excitement etc.
I cant believe how great all of these episodes are i am very impressed with it.
-Till next time(gonna be a while....)
Coolio548
The twists
The excitement etc.
I cant believe how great all of these episodes are i am very impressed with it.
-Till next time(gonna be a while....)
Coolio548


About Me
0
D.D. on Page 2......T_T
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I am making my GRAND RETUUUURN (BC, save your boos for later, eh?)
Just thought I"d through that out there.
Just thought I"d through that out there.
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