DOG ATTACK REPORT (True story)
I got my feet utterly destroyed by a demonic jack russell last friday. It took me 2 days to walk again, but luckily I got no infection or complication so this is the bright side. That dog, Milo (and looking exactly like the Milo from the Mask) always was shady... asking you to pat him like a good doggie and then a few seconds later growling at you like some sort of possessed canine devilkin. He bit my boyfriend once, my best friend once, and two of my friends too. Its masters cared a lot for him for he was such an angel towards them, and of course they paid for dog trainers to help him with his aggressive side. What's so bad is that this dog was unpredictable. I was one of his favorite mates until friday (I guess?!). There was a quiet party at my friends' apartment, and I just wanted to get across the room to go outside. He attacked my first feet, biting it once but a real good bite that bludgeoned all my toes and sliced through two of them. Then I managed to push him aside, only to have him attack my other feet. He bit me so bad we could see my toe bone and there was blood spilling all over the place. He didnt just bite my feet, he sank his fangs into them and shook them like crazy. I even lifted the dog up the ground, trying to break free from its bite as he was still attached to my foot. He finally let me go, but then he went for a third and final attack... Breathing louder than I ever did, with all my senses very acute and adrenaline maxed out, I UBER-KICKED the dog (CRITICAL HIT!) and, as I CO-CO-CO-CO-COMBO BREAKER'ed the dog, it did a superman flight straight on the wall. Both of its masters (my friends) came to help me out, yelling at the dog who looked at them as if he did nothing wrong with his cute face (I tell you... DEMONIC PUPPY). I never felt such pain in my entire life. Moments later I managed to calm myself, and the girls took care of me. One of them knew first aid. The guys asked me if I wanted a beer to calm down but she told them: what he needs right now is a joint, that's the best thing for him right now... so the guys rolled me a joint. A few moments later I was sitting on a chair in a bath, with one girl disinfecting my wounds, another girl massaging my calves (wtf?) and another girl holding my hand (aaaaaw =P). Oh and I was there with three nice and sexy women taking care of me, with a beer in one hand and a huge blunt in the other hand. And of course, I was trying not to look at my shredded feet. Fucked up!
MyQueenSindel Wrote:
I feel bad for any woman who is the aunt of a gay person; their life expectancy only lasts until their nephew is about to have a play date with their man friend.
Message to all gay males: Every time you want to meet up with a boy, God will kill their aunt exactly a few hours before your planned visit. Please, do it for the aunts around the world.
LMFAO! I used the aunt excuse once or twice, but because I was young, stupid and didn't want to go to work. Not just before a date that sucks!!!!
