One day little Jonny was walking down the street when he came across a funny looking man wearing a turban in the parking lot. He was muttering something in his own language..so little Jonny walked over to the man and asked" what are doing, mister?" "The funny looking man suddenly stopped muttering..looked down at jonny, and said'" I am counting in my mind how many cows and chickens I have left back in my country." Jonny was somewhat holding his nose, because the man smelled so much. Jonny had the urge to leave..as the man looked like a kook. The man stoped Jonny, and stabbed him in the foot with a tranquilizer dart.
When jonny awoke, he has covered in blood and urine, and he was hanging upside-down with his pants down over a ledge...he was really upset. but sitting beside him was a magic lamp. so jonny..feeling nothing worse could happen to him, rubbed the lamp. and out popped a genie. The genie told little jonny," you have three wishes. Use them wisely." So, the first wish little jonmny asked the genie was," Genie, I wish I wasnt covered in blood and urine..so can you clean me up?"....aw who am i trying to kid this isnt a joke its a story. sorry for the waste of space..
Yo mama so fat she got arrested for having 500 pounds of "crack"

Best jokes by;
1.Slugunner1023
2.DOCBROWN
3.Sub_ZER0
4.Black_Dragon
5.SirManny111
6.you_suck
7.ScorpianSkullFatality
8.SmokeYa
9.jade2004
10.ScorpianSkullFatality
These joke were voted by the rules!

"One time a few years ago, my mother passed away. For the grave, I got her flowers and a card. A card for my dead mother. My brother asked what the card said inside. I said, I told him it said "Get well soon."

Don't say that,it might happen.

LOL
I'm only saying it for comedy, i wouldn't want my mother to die, she isn't that old

Old age isn't the only cause of death.

thats true . . .

"Why are today's bumper cars aren't as fun as before? The new ones are soft and have dumb seatbelts and you have to wear helmets! Back then, all there was was a seat, pedal, a steering wheel, and a lighting rod! The sparks are right above you, can cause embers and set your hair on fire! And it was so much fun hitting eachother with the cars! Not like today, now they have airbags and stuff like that! All we had was Metal! Nothing more! Remember back then when there was 1 car that was kind of broken, that would always be the target to go for. One kid tries to drive it but realizes he got a bad car. "Oh no i got the broken-" Bam! Slam! Bump! And that one kid is leaving with broken bones and stuff. Man back then was way better!"

Can't believe you're still kidding about it.

Keep showing the scoreboard. I want to see who's is best. Well, do that when others make jokes too. I'm interested who has the best jokes

Crap, i have a good one but the rules . . . oh well, i'll try to think of another one

One day i asked my girlfriend what's her biggest fear, she said"That you'll leave me, and I'll by myself, dying a lonely death. What's your biggest fear?" I said"Bears."

What is blond, black, blond, black, blond, black, blond?

Madonna doing cartwheels

Kind of funny Alpha_Q_Up.

A guy gets pulled over for speeding. The cop walks up to the driver's window and asks for his license and registration. He notices that there are a bunch of hunting knives in the back seat. He asks the driver what all the knives are for and the driver says that he's a juggler for a traveling circus. The cop tells the driver, "Get out of the car, and put your hands behind your back. Your going to jail." The driver says, "I swear to God I'm really a juggler. I'll even show you!" The cop went ahead and let the guy prove his point. Back at one of the local bars, two friends are having drinks. One of them decides its time to go home, so he says goodnight to his friend and leaves. As he's driving, he witnessed something he never would have believed if he hadn't seen it himself. He got out his cell-phone, dialed the number to the bar, got his friend on the line and said, "Whatever you do when you go home, don't go down Milbrook Dr. The police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!"

Best jokes by;
1.secondgen
2.Slugunner1023
3.DOCBROWN
4.Sub_ZER0
5.Black_Dragon
6.SirManny111
7.you_suck
8.ScorpianSkullFatality
9.SmokeYa
10.jade2004

Heres another......

A woman goes to her gynecologist and her doctor askes to to come on the table, she's up there and he is examining her, while that is going on a penny comes out, as he is examining her more, a quarter comes out next, now a bunch of nickles and dimes come out, the doctor says "oh, boy" the the woman askes " whats wrong doctor?" the doctor says " oh, your just going through your change."

That one took 3rd place DOCBROWN because you didn't finish it in a sweet way.Try harder next time!

Very funny,you are number1 now but please edit it so the moderator wont see it or you'll get two skulls.

I'm sorry, i'm not trying to be on top, i just love jokes, sorry about that, I never use jokes like that.

No problem I just don't want you too get skulls or for the thread too close since it's above one hundred replies.

Thank you for warning me about this scorpion15152004.

. . . . .YES! I got one!

Itm was Halloween day and i was with my friend Shawn. It was around afternoon but we were already in costumes. I was a gruesome bat and Shawn was a wizard. The costume was very convincing. It was almost night and i already wanted to go get candy but he said, "i'm looking for something, i lost it on my way to your house." I told him to meet me later somewhere else. Later that night, he said that nobody answered him. He didn't know why, i asked what was he looking for. He showed me a picture, it was a toy monkey. I said, "The reason why nobody would answer you is because you're dressd like that asking people, "Have you seen my little monkey."

That one was great but I'm sorry it din't took the number1 spot Slugunner1023 and hope you're not seaching the internet for jokes okay.

I don't. Besides, the only things worse than internet jokes is fictional stories on the internet about video game series