Women vs Men and Love // Attraction
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posted11/13/2009 03:22 PM (UTC)by
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ThePredator151
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1.) Who's better at it?

2.) Do you know how to attract the opposite sex (or in the instance that you're gay, do you know what attracts your mates)?

3.) Once you have a boyfriend//girlfriend...do you know what it is that keeps them around you? What makes them loyal to you?

4.) What are some things that you have learned in your experience?

Okay so in my home, we've been going through a tough time lately, and I think it's mainly my fault. I think the reason was probably because I didn't know how to speak to women's emotional stuff. But I also think she's guilty of this same sort of thing. She's busy alot...ect

So, I'm pretty confident at this point that we will progress pass this issue, and have learned a few things about eachother in the process. But I wanna hear what you know.
Because while the cliches were definitely at work here (y'know, "communication is key"..."it's the little things that count"..."patience is a virtue"..."time waits for nothing".. ect), I think those things get lost in translation. And soon, nobody feels that it's necessary to teach anyone anything about eachother anymore, when that's probably the best thing to do.

I'll try to give some pointers and tips on stuff that I have learned that worked for me later, but let's hear a story or two as maybe an example of non-communication, or when you wanted to attract someone but it didn't work or whatever. Maybe you even got pissed off at your significant other...who knows?
In western cultures women are extremely emotional while most men aren't. Thats a problem that will never be solved so I don't know why people even bother. You just have to find some middle ground and if one or the other can't compromise then thats a whole different story of selfishness. The other problem is when people are needy. When someone is needy, the other person has complete control of the relationship and when some people come to that realization they abuse that power. Its really both of their faults.
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(Erik)
10/24/2009 03:41 AM (UTC)
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1.) Who's better at it?

Who's better at what, love? At my age I feel like people are clueless and just throw around the word like it doesn't truly mean anything at all.

2.) Do you know how to attract the opposite sex (or in the instance that you're gay, do you know what attracts your mates)?

I don't try attracting anyone, and I know my main flaw is that I only begin to be interested in someone after they've told me that they like me.

3.) Once you have a boyfriend//girlfriend...do you know what it is that keeps them around you? What makes them loyal to you?

I'm kind of cruel and apathetic, I don't really see what anyone sees in me and what keeps them around. Or why they try so hard to prevent me from breaking up with them.

4.) What are some things that you have learned in your experience?

Maybe I'm just immature or incapable of love, but after the two month period the significant other will tell me that they love me and I'll have no response because I don't feel 'love' yet and then if the relationship isn't broken off immediately there, it is a slow dwindling spiral into the break up with 'why don't you love me yet?' being the backbone to every conflict.

Overall I'm weird, and if nobody ever 'gets' me, I will die alone.
But then again, I feel like every marriage will end in either death or divorce.
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10/24/2009 05:42 AM (UTC)
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1- Who's better at it?

I don't think either sex is better at it as a whole so much as it's an interdependency taking place. Both sides need to help each other when required to make it work.

2- Do you know how to attract mates?

Yea, I just be myself. If you like me, you like me, and if not, fuck off. Works pretty well.

3- Once you have a boyfriend//girlfriend...do you know what it is that keeps them around you? What makes them loyal to you?

We all make mistakes, but I just put a lot of energy and time into not making the huge ones that break a relationship. I show them that I can be a rock for them when they need to be consoled and the rest kind of just falls into place, so long as I keep up my loyalty.

4- What are some things that you have learned in your experience?

Never compromise yourself or your beliefs at any stage of a relationship. Also, it's time to break it off when you realize that you're not getting the same amount out of a relationship as what you're putting into it.
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JadedReign
10/24/2009 06:12 AM (UTC)
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\1.) Who's better at it?

In trying to think of an answer to this, I can only say that it depends on what you like, and if their methods/habits attract or synergize well with you. I can't really say on whether one gender is "better" than another, because it's all about what you like.

2.) Do you know how to attract the opposite sex (or in the instance that you're gay, do you know what attracts your mates)?

I'm rather laid back and masculine in public (defining 'in public' as anywhere I'm not alone) . Generally, I find a lot of gay men like masculine men, so I lay low (keep the flames in check) and act unconcerned about most things. This projects an air of cool, low key confidence. Simply put, I exhibit the expected masculine behavior.

3.) Once you have a boyfriend//girlfriend...do you know what it is that keeps them around you? What makes them loyal to you?

I'm rather low-maintenance and casual. I don't make heavy demands and whatnot. I don't need a lot. Basically, I'm just down for whatever. Easy.

4.) What are some things that you have learned in your experience?

Just because you're in a relationship does not mean that you own each other. I've seen so many people try to control and/or change their significant other to fit their ideal image. That shit ain't happenin'. It's important to recognize that you two are different people and have different lives. Do you love them for who they are, or what you think they could be?
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Toxik
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10/24/2009 06:14 AM (UTC)
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1. I think both sexes have their on unique way of expressing their love and showing their attraction.

2. I know how to attract someone if I'm interested in them. I use some charm, flirt a little(not too much) and just end up being myself. That always help.

3. I know how to keep a Bf. I give him enough space to be himself and give him trust, loyalty, and respect. There is a saying that goes "Love gives Love, Trust gives Trust, Lies give Lies"

4. In my experience I learn that you have to let the person you love be himself/herself. You cannot control or turn them into someone they are not.

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10/24/2009 12:32 PM (UTC)
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Alpha_Q_Up_Is_Back Wrote:
Something like that though is common sense though. A birthday is a huge deal for a woman, why? I have no idea, but it is but the point is not to argue or question it, the point is that its always expected that the guy will do something. Hah you definitely MUST SHOW UP when you tell a girl you're going to be there, he's an idiot. Anyways throw in my 2 cents before my hot date tonight! Going to cheesecake factory by Downtown LA and stroll around the parks, we'll see how it goes


mmm.... Right now, I don't really think it is common sense. Sometimes it takes for something to truly resonate with us in order for the importance of it to mean anything real. To care for another, totally outside of ones-self is a rarity....especially with us men....

We like to use our own versions of a universal logic..."fix things" to solve problems or progress. I want to suggest exclusively for this particular point, that those are selfish ideologies. Singular and universal ways to handle problems or obstacles.

For example, take the idea of the chastity belt. Obstacle, right? Where's the "key to unlock the belt", right?

Well, I think I figured out that it's not "a key" at all, but a series of triggers. Unless of course you're like my late cousin Antwain, and just have the gift for communicating directly with the chastity belt. "Open Sesame Code" or something that guy had...HA!

Personally though, something like a birthday wasn't common sense to me. It was merely a tangible obligation. "Something I just had to do in order to get something else I wanted". So I subscribed to the idea that "Oh, it's just another day on the calender, so whatever if I miss it. She can just be mad at me again like she always is if I do miss it." Or, "I'll just make it up on friday when I get paid."...

When the better way to handle instances like that, would probably have been to look at it from a perspective of commitment to her, and worth of her. Like, if I'm in a relationship with this person, why am I not behaving like a member of this couple, instead of a goal oriented singular person? I figured out just in the last couple weeks here that couples co-op. So, not everything we do is going to be something I like, or that is relevant to me at all.

Maybe she is just a social personality, and would like to show her people how much she likes//loves me to them. Just as much as I like to make her get all made-up, and tease other guys with how good she looks.

====

My first inclination was that "Oh my God, this is another "job". And I think for alot of guys to understand what it is....that's a good way of putting it. It IS a job....It's just another job like taking the trash to the curb, or fixing the sink, or taking her car and detailing it myself and leaving a flower on the seat without her knowing it so she can find it and go "awwwww"....

See what I'm saying? It's right in the same category pretty much. And there's a whole crapload of shit like this that let the woman know you like her, or love her, or whatever. Which is what they want. Which is exactly the answer to that old cliche: "It's the little things that count". Y'didn't buy her anything big...all you did was spend like 5$ cleaning her car and 2-3$ on a rose and a card. That shit worked, and she was furious with my existence at the time. haha...

I happened upon this realization. Nobody told me. Also, alot of it is specific to what your girlfriend is saying too. All the little nagging and crap like that....tune into once, and respond to something she says casually, and with some sort of suave timing and see what happens. Some typical stuff is like:

1. The dreaded "Rub My Feet" - Men I know hate this shit, but did you know that rubbing the feet stimulates a part of the brain that is basically right next to, or connected to the part of the brain that stimulates orgasms? I tried it, and then looked up why she always wants me to do this beyond the fact that her paws may be hurting.

Rub her feet one night and leave her alone at bed time.... and while she won't get off on a foot rub that night, she'll be ready to release all that pent up tension soon enough. lol

Kinda explains the foot fetish.

2. The ol' "You never listen to a thing I say" - Women rightfully expect men to never remember anything....because as far as I know, we don't. It's just white noise most of the time. But, all I had to do is remind her of some old moment we had and then....let her talk about what she knew about it. To engage her in a conversation about absolutely nothing is what they pay attention to.

They notice funky shit like if your eyes gloss over out of boredom from tying to care about what she's saying. They notice your body language better than you notice theirs. Subtleties in your facial expressions...stuff like that.

So, to engage her....I guess makes them feel like she's worth listening to. And if you look bored, you're making her feel like she's worthless to you.

3. If you don't look like a man to her, you don't even exist visually to her. I read on a couple of these sites that they don't even see you if you don't look like a man. And apparently, nice shoes tells them about your hygiene? Whatever...

But I guess that's why women like guys in suits, or fitting (not necessarily skin-tight) shirts. So guess what I did? I put up the Hoody for a day, and put on one of my regular, loose, but more fitting t-shirts and it worked. I also (ironically) tried my wife-beaters again. lol I'm fortunate to be fit and naturally toned..but it worked too on a separate night. Cut my hair, and took a shower. Again, she was mad at me all day that day.
======

Who knew? I sure as hell didn't. The thing is though, is that it made me remember how I attracted her in the first place. We have a picture or two from way back when -- where I just looked different // was dressed different. We were outside, instead of in the house on my computer, I was around other guys competing for her attention, and there was an event going on (4th of July or something like that). I wasn't downstairs, on my computer, with my favorite black hoody on, jacking around with you guys in a thread about stuff.

That's why I said I think it was probably mainly my fault. And with that, I'll post up more later! There's too much for one post.

Hope this stuff is interesting for someone...I was fascinated at first.


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devilwithin
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Shinnok-fan64 - s3Kt0r
10/24/2009 02:38 PM (UTC)
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1.) Who's better at it?
No one, men and women have their own flaws for example men don't always care about women and just want to have fun for night and women tent to fall in love just from simple kiss that means nothing. I'm not saying everyone has same flaws but this is example some of flaws you might see.


2.) Do you know how to attract the opposite sex (or in the instance that you're gay, do you know what attracts your mates)?

Yes and no. It odd answer but true. There times when I try to attract someone and fail but there is times where I wouldn't even doing anything and I'll get girl come up to me and start talking to me (which is good thing and bad thing because it easy for me to find out if girl likes me but there been times where I miss hint and not think anything about. Like last night where I was at Billy Talent gig and girl came up to me and said "Your the devil on my shoulder". I'll tell you where I fucked up big time. When I first looked at her for very quick sec, I thought she was older but the second time I saw that I was wrong. By that time I missed my window of opportunity to say anything back and trying to attract someone at gig is not easy to do.)


3.) Once you have a boyfriend//girlfriend...do you know what it is that keeps them around you? What makes them loyal to you?
No relationship is same. So every relationship I tent to change while being true to myself. For example, I wouldn't tell girl, I like club music (I don't like it, I hate the music) because she likes it. Another example is Valentine's Day, in one relationship I would get her present and take her out if possible but in other relationship I might get a girl who doesn't like Valentine's Day so I wouldn't get her present but I will take her out before or after Valentine's Day.


4.) What are some things that you have learned in your experience?
Long distance relationships don't work, the guys have to make first move and there nothing wrong from walking away from bad relationship. Also, be true to yourself and let other half be true to themself as well
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QueenSindel(TheBitch)
11/03/2009 05:30 AM (UTC)
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The problem with relationships these days is that people put too much "work" into them.

Love should hardly be any work at all. "Love is pain" and all that nonsense is pure bullshit. Losers made that up.

People tend to be attracted to the wrong things, especially women. They don't care if a man could be a best friend to them. They just want him to have good job, have money, be protective, be hilarious, etc.

I couldn't care less if a guy has a job, money, or nice car. Is that what we look for in friends? ....Of course not.

And that's all that love is: Friendship, except its fused with sexual/opposite attraction which raises the bond to a whole higher special level.

I don't know why people don't just look for a "good friend" when seeking a long-term partner.

If you're the type a guy who's insensitive, then why the hell would you get with an emotional girl? I mean... Duh.

Little things like that just irritate me. People are so illogical when it comes to relationships. Love should not be work. Yes, things are never perfect, but if the relationship isn't positive for you... get out of it. Simple as that.

Makes me slap my forehead when people who barely know each other get married just because the first few days then spent together went swell.... idiots. That's why divorse rates are up to an unbelievable 50%. People think they know someone after a few days/weeks only to find out that once they're comfortable being themselves around you and showing their true colors, they turn out to be someone different. Oh but of course these people fuck like pigs in that first period so before the truth even surfaces, their stuck with kids.

In my experiences, it takes me several months to really get to know someone. And I mean, all the sides they have, all the layers, every mood, every reaction, every habit, etc. Some people certainly take longer cuz you know there's bad people out there who'll deceive you for as long as it takes to get what they want from you.

Anyway, bottomline is people overcomplicate relationships.... bigtime.

If the shoe doesn't fit, don't force it. If it's more work and play, quit. And so forth.
QueenSindel(TheBitch) Wrote:
The problem with relationships these days is that people put too much "work" into them.

Love should hardly be any work at all. "Love is pain" and all that nonsense is pure bullshit. Losers made that up.

People tend to be attracted to the wrong things, especially women. They don't care if a man could be a best friend to them. They just want him to have good job, have money, be protective, be hilarious, etc.

I couldn't care less if a guy has a job, money, or nice car. Is that what we look for in friends? ....Of course not.

And that's all that love is: Friendship, except its fused with sexual/opposite attraction which raises the bond to a whole higher special level.

I don't know why people don't just look for a "good friend" when seeking a long-term partner.

If you're the type a guy who's insensitive, then why the hell would you get with an emotional girl? I mean... Duh.

Little things like that just irritate me. People are so illogical when it comes to relationships. Love should not be work. Yes, things are never perfect, but if the relationship isn't positive for you... get out of it. Simple as that.

Makes me slap my forehead when people who barely know each other get married just because the first few days then spent together went swell.... idiots. That's why divorse rates are up to an unbelievable 50%. People think they know someone after a few days/weeks only to find out that once they're comfortable being themselves around you and showing their true colors, they turn out to be someone different. Oh but of course these people fuck like pigs in that first period so before the truth even surfaces, their stuck with kids.

In my experiences, it takes me several months to really get to know someone. And I mean, all the sides they have, all the layers, every mood, every reaction, every habit, etc. Some people certainly take longer cuz you know there's bad people out there who'll deceive you for as long as it takes to get what they want from you.

Anyway, bottomline is people overcomplicate relationships.... bigtime.

If the shoe doesn't fit, don't force it. If it's more work and play, quit. And so forth.


Several months? Are you kidding me? That shit takes YEARS. But as human beings we tend to go for instant gratification which causes so many illogical decisions.
girls are weird and dont know what they want half the time
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devilwithin
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Shinnok-fan64 - s3Kt0r
11/03/2009 04:45 PM (UTC)
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thetruth4 Wrote:
girls are weird and dont know what they want half the time


but we can also say the same thing about men as well
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filth
11/03/2009 07:34 PM (UTC)
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devilwithin Wrote:
thetruth4 Wrote:
girls are weird and dont know what they want half the time


but we can also say the same thing about men as well



guys arn't that hard to figure out . most of us only want 3 things eat , sleep and sex.
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Nightcrow
11/03/2009 07:40 PM (UTC)
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Love's that kind of illness that everybody catches, yet somehow, half of the time they say they're pretty happy with it.... yeah, go figure...
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QueenSindel(TheBitch)
11/03/2009 10:11 PM (UTC)
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Well to fully get to know someone, yes it takes several years. However it doesn't take that long to know whether someone would be good for you long-term-relationship-wise. That's what I meant.

It's like people buy the treat without sampling it first. First take a sample (a few months, maybe one year) and then go for the whole package.

That way, most of the time anyway, you won't have to get a refund (divorce).
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Toxik
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11/06/2009 11:32 PM (UTC)
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Doesn't people release some kind of Pheromone to attract another person? Or is that like only in the animal kingdom? lol
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Kamionero
11/09/2009 02:25 AM (UTC)
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A wise man once said,

Sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much


yeahhhh, think about it.
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Jerrod
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11/10/2009 10:24 PM (UTC)
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1.) Who's better at it? At attracting, I say women. As for love, I think it's a tie really.
2.) I don't know how to attract either sex, but I seem to do it relatively easily, which isn't something I can control though and leads to awkward situations.
3.) My loyalty to them serves me well, but aside from that, I don't know how to keep them. It might be because I attract the same kind of girls over and over again, but I think it has to do with the old adage, "fools rush in." They see me at my best and peak and are attracted to me easily enough to want to date me, but when it comes down to the more specific details about who I am, regarding interests, personality, skills, etc, they find I'm not as similar to them as they thought.
4.) Great relationships start as soon as you meet, and take much time before they can become something more that can last in the long-term. Something I've also learned is that there are two people in a relationship and both of them have their roles they need to fill together. You both have to be strong individuals, and become a stronger whole, and not become less than what you were while in the relationship as well.
As for my own relationship issues, I've had a lot, but I think they're mostly related to who I attract and how long I take to get to know them. I've always found myself dating girls who make problems out of nothing, or worse, blame little things on one big thing that they just can't explain. My last girlfriend was just completely unhappy with me as a boyfriend, and often caused drama for things I felt were just ridiculous... One of the biggest things was how she complained about my buying her gifts too often... When you hear that, you know she's grasping at straws and just wants to leave. It basically came down to how despite how good a boyfriend I was, she wanted someone who was exactly like her and not someone who was willing to do things for her just because she liked those things. It's an idealist notion off her, and it's one I've seen often enough to be fed up of, to say the least.
Now I don't want a relationship without getting to know the girl extremely well, as in, we become close friends and then decide if we want to date. It could take a while, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop having my fun. wink
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Gho$t
11/12/2009 02:37 AM (UTC)
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1.) Who's better at it?
Women are more attractive, because that's just their natural figure. It's like a body advantage/image over men. Just Google the number of hits about female wallpapers, porno's watched, models, etc. As far as getting the opposite sex, it's a tie. Then again how do you explain the long history of prostitution.

2.) Do you know how to attract the opposite Sex?
Charm & luxury.

3.) Once you have a boyfriend/girlfriend... do you know what it is that keeps them around you? What makes them loyal to you?
Phone talk, The CheeseCakeFactory, & playing around in public.

4.) What are some things that you have learned in your experience?
Never take nuthing to heart. If your not having a good time with the one your with stop waisting your time. On to the next one.
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(Erik)
11/13/2009 12:31 AM (UTC)
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Kamionero Wrote:
A wise man once said,
Sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much
yeahhhh, think about it.


Can someone tell me what this mean to them?
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devilwithin
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The boy kicked out at the world. The world kicked back a lot fuckin' harder.

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Shinnok-fan64 - s3Kt0r
11/13/2009 03:22 PM (UTC)
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(Erik) Wrote:
Kamionero Wrote:
A wise man once said,
Sometimes when we touch, the honesty is too much
yeahhhh, think about it.


Can someone tell me what this mean to them?


Not clue but I keep thinking about that scene from crocodile dundee. It where Dundee touch that woman and finds out it's guy. I think it something to do with that?
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