Great discussion topic, Leo.

I think that Mace will be swept in Lara's deception until near the end; I think that Lara will eventually just have too many pots in the fire to remain focused enough to keep convincing, or as has been said, Leona will finally jar him into reality.

I agree with B_C and Streetking; I think Elandra will be too occupied with making sure Earth wins to be able to wholly focus on Mace's situation.

Lol, a "copy of Mileena", Thats Priceless. I don't know what a Ambitious Young Woman who suffered most of her life, and wishes a new life for herself and desires everyone else to suffer as she did have in common with a Power-Hungry Half Edenian Half Tarkatan Hybrid? Maybe its because they both wear pink...If so, That is a pretty pathetic way to compare people, almost pathetic as yourself.

Oh wow, you said "Fuck" and made a cute picture out of letters and Symbols on a Keyboard....That really is going to Hurt my Feelings and cause Dramatic Impact on my Life...Boo Hoo.

I am also very happy to finally see you leaving...It is people like you who weigh down a Good Project with your filthy ideas that No One agrees or even gives a shit about. So Goodbye D_W.

Anyway I sincerly apologize Leo for bringing such Filth into your Great Thread. Forgive me, and lets get this Thread back on Topic!

- 2nd in Command a.k.a. The Jackass

Well, u guys r doin pretty well for yourselfs. Well u guys have got the makings of actual story production. Sorry about that one time. Yeah not a single thing wrong, its flawless. Well I know u guys don't really care what I think, I just thought Id tell u guys what I think.

Thanks for the comments, Hellrazer. We really appreciate them!

Glad to see that you are enjoying this (or at least see no fault in it, lol), and hopefully you'll stick around for future installments of the story

Well im working on a project myself. Oh ya and I think I now somthing that can help u guys on yur way. Go to google and type in Mugen. And have fun, trust me, u will like this.

Well...

Prom was yesterday, and with its end comes the end of all my High School worries as well as 75% of my worries in general. That means more time to dedicate to things that I actually enjoy, so let's slowly get back on track here!

Also... don't ask me how prom was unless you'd like a long rant-PM. In one short sentence: Karma is a slutty-ass bitch. It has exacted its revenge upon me for every evil thing about myself, including but not limited to my sense of superiority and my being a male whore.

Its Great to See things finally getting back on Track!

(I am terribly sorry, for the grizzly events of Promhell)

(P.S. Could someone explain to me what this nonsense "Mugen" is?)

Episode 14 is up!!!

========================================================

Deadly Dominion: Episode 14
"A Desperate Plot"

"Pyrros's jaw-dropping plans for Donnovan are unveiled, while Leona's personal goals and dominating personality cause growing friction in the Earth Dwelling.

Meanwhile, things gear up for the first round of the tournament..."

========================================================

Eagerly awaiting the reviews, feedback, and discussions!

Thanks for the amazing amount of patience!

- Leo

Great dialouge this episode Leo. I loved the final line "Give me lots of blood." Viper versus Millena? That should be fun. Uh-oh, Leona almost killed Elandra? Uh-oh! Great job. Can't wait for the next episode.


Streetking Edit: W00-H00 first post

Its Finally Here and well worth the wait! Another fantastic Episode Leo!

* Very interesting plan of action, sounds pretty dangerous as well. But it is probably the only way to ensure that Luther doesn't get the stone. Some interesting things to bring up:

"Three items known as the Heavenly Elements, Donnovan. Items created by the Watchers themselves that can collectively open the entrance to any stronghold containing the Adonis Stone. Keys, if you will."

I would like to hear more about these Elements. What exactly are they? People? Ancient Artifacts? Random Items?

"...other fighters participating in the current tournament who, while not as willing as you to bring Luther down, also share a similar thirst for change..."

I'm curious to see whom they will wish to recruit. Mace is a very likely canidate. Also Characters such as Logan, Millena, and Bianca wish to bring down Luther as well, so they could very well play a factor as well. Some very interesting ideas brought up, and cna't wait to see them blow up in the comming episodes!

"This is a suicide mission..."

* LMFAO! Diavol is terrified of Rats!

"A rodent scurries past his feet and hides in the nearby darkness.
Diavol makes a disgusted face and jumps up to his feet. He starts breathing heavily."

An Interesting task for Diavol....I'm curious to see where it leads. I wonder if he'll attempt to Double-Cross Luther and go back to the rebels side? If so, he'll either have a set of sharp claws in his stomach or a picturesque gold vehicle will hit him. LOL at Diavol here:

"And until then? You can't just leave me locked up in here!
Luther responds to Diavol's plea with echoing footsteps as he turns and leaves the scene."

All in All, another great scene!

* Hmmm...Elandra getting a little too cocky? I don't think Leona is going to take too much of this "Your Below me" Shit from her much longer.

(Which In fact makes Leona and Lara such great rivals, considering Lara thinks of herself superior to everyone.)

Some great dialouge in this scene, and this continuing tension between the 2 assassins creates great drama! Also I noticed this is the 1st time you've used the "MOMENTS LATER" heading, which turned out really well! Interesting ending to this scene:

"I'm not gonna let you get fooled out of this kind of information. Maybe it's better if I drop by this meeting myself..."
Can't wait to see what happens next!


* Great witty Dialouge filled scene!

"Sweetie, I don't look nearly old enough to be mothering a mountain like yourself. "

"Are you calling me an alien?"

Those are two of my favorite Great Lara lines this Episode! Its good to see a struggle between Lara and Vice, I wonder how much of it she'll be able to put up with? LMAO I think you took what I said in my Last review and purposely made it a line into the story!

FLASHBACK:

Another Great Scene... Lara must be stressed out having to deal with Viro all the time...And you know what happens to stressed people...Wrinkles at an Early Age!!! :-O

END OF FLASHBACK

"That ape is gonna give me wrinkles."

LMAO, if so I feel honored that a Small Comment in my Review turned into a great infamous witty Lara Line!

* Another interesting, and actiony scene!

"Search for one named Mace before anyone else. He has his own desires for this tournament, but I sense that his mind is open enough that he may accept your request. Not only that, but securing his help could mean securing the help of others around him."

Thats definately a good idea, not only would you get Mace's help, but you would also get Leona (For her own Reasons of Course), and Elandra. EDIT: and CJ. ( I keep forgetting he even exsists!) A Very powerful Quote:

"Donnovan, it is a human's choices that defines the shape of his future. Take it from one whose eyes can see much further than your own: you must not involve your coalition in this mission if you are to succeed. You must trust me now and from hereon if you are to retrieve all three elements and open the stronghold without failure."

Very Deep and Meaningful, very enjoyable to read. I also liked how Pyrros used lightening to find Vice in the dark...Uh oh He's in trouble!

* Very creepy scene indeed, yet it added something to the whole scene. (can't place my finger on it...But it was Good!) I

wonder what Leona was really going to do to Elandra, though I speculate she was going to do some form of bodily harm.(Bianca would be disappointed that she didn't have the chance to tear Elandra limb from limb.)

I love how Leona appeared and disappeared as some sort of Apparition. Overall, an awsome and creepy scene Leo!

* Great use of imagery when describing Vice and Donnovan's attacks, as well as Pyrros' elemental powers. Though short, the fight was stunning. Vice made a classic and stylish getaway. I wonder how this will affect Pyrros' plans, even though he seemed very sure of himself:

"That matters much less than you think, I assure you! Our plans cannot be easily halted! Whatever kind of danger that being poses, it will not be enough."

* I shall combine the final 2 scenes since they appear to go hand in hand. "Dimentian Everglades", that should be very interesting. I'm going to predict there are going to be some swampy dangers...maybe a Tar Pit or maybe even Gustave will make a cameo appearance? Also glad to see them actually looking for Vincente, I was afraid everyone would forget about him, lol .

Viper and Millena....That should be very interesting indeed.

"...give me a lot of blood."

This was an Amazing Episode, and a perfect set-up for the 1st Tournament fight! I cannot wait for Episode 15, which will hopefully be realesed sooner!

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Streetqueen, it matters not whom is first, it matter's who's review is easier on the eyes and provides inspiration to continue writing, which yours pathetically fails to deliver.

I haven't had a lot of free time to be online recently, but I did get a chance to skim the episode and review my PMs.

I'm going out of town tonight for a few days; when I get back I'll be able to read the episode in more depth, and I'll post a review then.

However, so far so good!

Thanks for the reviews so far!

S_S, hopefully you enjoy this episode as well when you get a chance to read it in-depth. We'll see when we get your feedback! =)

I'll stop by soon to raise some questions and maybe even share some next-episode info!

'Till then,

- Leo

Just a Quick in and Out.

I'm pleased to announce I am enjoying my Island Paradise Vacation, where Doctor's harvest your organs and sell them on the Black Market and Trans-sexual Hookers are frequent. I met a real life Bianca today at the Mall, and I bought a new colon entitled "Criminal Mind".

Enough about Moi, I can't wait for the Next Episodes! I personally think that the Next Few should be a bit longer than normal, just so you can fit everything you want into them, especially long exciting tournament battles, but thats just my opinion. Do as you please, it shall be pure genius no matter the case.

That was the In, now here's the Out.

See ya!

-2nd in Command even when he's on Vacation!

Still on Vacation, but I bring to you a Topic of Disscussion to Hold us over until the realease of Episode 15!

The First Tournament Battle

Several Points of Disscussion in this Topic:

* Millena and Viper, what do you think about this match-up?

* Whom do you think will win and why?

* Dimentian Everglades: What do you hope to see in this arena?

* What are your expectations of this fight? What do you what to happen, and elaborate why?

*Anything you would like to add to your statement.

Can't wait to see some Responses! I shall be posting later.

See ya!

- 2nd in Command who is still on Vacation!

Alright, I am finally back, and have had time to fully read the episode. Once again, it's great material and a fun read.

Also once again, I doubt my review will be as lengthy or thorough as B_C's, but here goes:


The plan that's been offered by Pyrros to Donnovan certainly seems intriguing, if not a little dangerous. I like the idea that he'll have to go to three different worlds to find the keys...will he have to enlist help of certain individuals from each world, or just from Earth?

I can't wait to see what kind of battles are going to eventually come from this plan, and I'm eager to see who will be involved in helping him.

The little skirmish between the two and Vice was a nice break from dialogue in this episode, and was a nice demonstration of Pyrros' abilities.

Once again, Lara strikes the perfect chord between being insanely arrogant and humorous at the same time. I loved her line "that ape is going to give me wrinkles"

For some reason, the conflict between Elandra and Leona seems....strange. Their first encounter is normal enough and what I'd expect; Elandra is still upset she'd been left behind by Leona, and then finds herself in a situation where she has to protect Leona's presence at the gathering when she probably doesn't really want to, so I can see her being emotionally cold and behaving superior. I can also see Leona wanting to make sure that her presence remains unknown, and that she'd do whatever she had to do make sure it was kept that way. She also doesn't seem the type to accept someone else's feelings of superiority. However, I don't understand why she was watching Elandra in her sleep...seeming about to attempt to kill her. What is the motivation? Elandra has helped keep Leona's presence a secret from the moment she first arrived, even after Leona left her for possible death in the Dimetian fortress. Was Leona simply watching? Is she jealous that Mace doesn't share her seemingly increasing dislike for Elandra? Elandra's behavior to Leona earlier in this episode just doesn't seem like enough to engender that sort of attention later, but I'll assume that it will be explained later.

Diavol's interaction with Luther was also very nice, particularly the opening sequence in which he was unsettled by the rodent. Luther consistently comes across as menacing and demonic; I can't wait to see him actually fight someone later in this series; no matter who it is I'm thinking it'll be a prolonged and bloody battle.

Now, I was hoping that characters such as Davila and Hamon would have gotten a little attention in this episode, simply because we haven't heard much from them recently. Davila's plot was looking to be complex and sinister; I hope we get to see more of that later.

Now, on to B_C's question of the week:

Hm....Mileena and Viper? This should be interesting...while I can't think of a better pairing between either, I certainly wasn't expecting this one.

We really haven't seen Mileena fight, so based on that and what we HAVE seen from Viper, I'd have to say that Viper has my vote for victory for now. Besides, if one of Luther's combatants wins the first battle, it'd send a clear signal that the tournament will not be an easy thing to snatch away from Dimentia.

As far as the Dimentian everglades....I would assume that at least part of the arena will be a little swampy...that would put some interesting dynamics into the fight if they had to muck their way to one another, lol.


So far this is still shaping up very nicely, but like B_C it would be cool to see the episodes last a little longer. I know you work very hard at them Leo, but I would mind waiting a few more days as it is if it means we get massive episodes each time.


At any rate, once again I am a satisfied customer, and I can't wait for 15 , and enjoy your vacation, B_C

I think this is as good of a time as any to stop by and leave a message. This one is gonna count for 10, however, because I'd like to address the reviews so far (I noticed I haven't been doing it a lot lately), and I know it is good for the reviewer to have their words taken into proper account.

So, first off:

StreetKing



Thanks for the feedback, SK. The first fight of the tournament should really be very promising. And the very brief scene involving Elandra and Leona is still very shady...

Barakaz_Cuz



It's definately a course of action that is based almost entirely on risk. As one of The Watchers and a Supreme Spirit, Pyrros is risking his own existance by formulating this plan. He is going against the laws that he and his companions abide by: withdrawing the sacred Elements from their resting place, breaking into the stronghold and, worse of all, destroying the artifact created long ago by Adonis. He won't have many ways of defending himself against the wrath of his fellow Spirits once this plot of his becomes known, whether it succeeds or not.



It's still unclear whom Pyrros has in mind, but we can already assume the Earth Dwelling is home to some good candidates. Of course, as the mastermind behind this plan, Pyrros is gonna be very careful as to whom he chooses to accompany Donnovan: anyone who could somehow compromise their success is definately gettin' the boot.



LOL ^_^ .. Diavol couldn't choose a worse time to double-cross Luther, especially with Viper breathing down his neck, so I don't know if we can expect that just yet.

Luther is, simply put, a very "cold" individual in this scene (and, what the hell, ALWAYS). Right now, he couldn't give a shit about Diavol as he hasn't proved his usefulness yet. Maybe it will change soon? Maybe not?



We know Vice hasn't liked his role as a "minion" ever since the beginning of things, but it's getting worse by the day. He becomes more and more rebellious with each appearence, and is pissing off the wrong people without caring whatsoever. What we have to keep in mind is that he's a self-serving character who has nothing in mind but his own best interest, so he'll act accordingly no matter what situation he's put in. We can only imagine where this will lead later on...



Vice is one lucky son of a b*tch, that's for sure ! He made his moves at just the right time and was able to get away with some valuable information.

And you're right, Pyrros doesn't seem too concerned with the situation as of now. In his superior wisdom, however, maybe there's more to his plan than we already know. We'll just have to wait and see once it actually gets under way.

Thank you for the review, B_C! A great and welcome read, as always!

Soul_Stealer



You bring up a very good point, S_S! Pyrros should keep in mind that Donnovan is a Dimentian, and like all opressed Dimentians, he really doesn't get to travel much. Worlds like Heilig and Earth will be unknown to him, so it would help him a great deal to have enlisted the assistance of natives from the lands he will have to journey through.



LoL !! One of the reasons I always look forward to scenes involving her.



I'm very glad to see such a deep analyzing of a scene! I think that the only way to truly understand Leona's odd behavior is to try and put ourselves in her place and to take into account her past actions.

Let's, for example, go back to the scene in the beginning of this episode, when Elandra and Mace are returning together from the gathering. Elandra is cold and uncaring as she addresses Leona. Like you said, S_S, it's just as we all expected, naturally. However, shortly after, we see Leona go into a sort of hypnotised state in which she watches Elandra in a "trance" and reaches for her Double-Edged -- it takes an "awakening" touch from Mace to snap her out of it. From this, we can assume that Leona is perhaps more murderous than we were used to up until now. Given her past as a hired killer, her talents pretty much revolve around taking lives. She has probably been led to believe that the only way out of bad situations is violence: to take out the problem at its root. The problem she's having to deal with on a daily basis is, as of now, Elandra. Taking all of this into consideration, we can then understand Leona's rash behavior and why she is so quick to wanna turn to violence even with the smallest problem. It's the way she's been shaped up to be.

Elandra, on the other hand, has been somewhat reformed in the past. She was probably just like Leona, but thankfully, was turned into a more thoughtful and much calmer individual. She lacks the corruption within Leona, at least from what we have seen up until now.



Don't worry, we will see much more of them in the future, especially as the tournament gets under way!

Huge thanks for the great review, S_S! Enjoyed every bit of it!

===================================================

Wow, I'm tired of typing... this should do it for now.

Feel free to reply to this post, and make sure to keep the discussion going! They could have a huge effect on the topics they relate to!

Hey guys long time no talk! Sorry i haven/t been on in a long time
I juts have been busy and stuff. But, anyway doing great Leo! I didnt read all of them but have you used my character yet?

Thanks-Coolio548

Umm...Who are you? Ah Yes I remember now! No, your character hasn't made an appearence yet because his slowass owner disappeared and couldn't develop him along with the story. IF you had participated from the beginning, yeah, but since you didnt, dont even bother.

You may have some small chance of redemption, but you have to take that up with Leo. May Little Mamma Curse Thee for all eternity. Ciao


- 2nd in Command

Well i guess that was sort of a hello.... But, anyway how am i supposed to delevope my character this late in the story without a very hcessy way of putting it?

-Coolio548

Hey Coolio,

Your character hasn't made an appearence in the series so far because you weren't around for the project. You may have your personal reasons for that, but the fact of the matter is, we couldn't count on you to work on your character and make him a real part of the story from the beginning.

Everyone involved in this project who is the creator of one of the characters have been around since the beginning. They talk to me constantly about their plans for their characters, things they'd like to see involving their characters, etc. And just as they speak to me about that, I'm also always asking them how their characters would react to certain situations, how they should be portrayed, and what effect they should have on the audience.

What I'm basically trying to say is that your created character could only exist in this storyline with someone to guide him through its happenings. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

We can talk about introducing a created character of yours from now on, though we'd have to work out some things (since it's really late in the story already). I don't make any promises, but we can see what we can do. I'll discuss this with you through PM.

oOoOo Events! Thats Rare...I should address them.





Thank you so much for acknowledging my review Leo! Its Great to get a response from my feedback of the episodes. It makes me want to write page essays talking about each one, when I am complimented on my reviews, which are colorful, witty, and filled with Bright Ideas of improvment and strong areas of the Episodes. Thanks again Leo, it really means a lot to me.




I couldn't agree more full heartedly. You really should have stayed from the begining like the rest of us, following this wonderful project, while you on the other hand, just randomly disappeared. I'm interested to see if Leo allows you back in, though I feel you deserve None. (This applies to you to ErmacsmainWOman!!!)




I definately have to agree that none of us were expecting this match up, it was a pleasent and intriuging surprise.

We did in Fact see Mileena have a little scrap with Luther back at the Fortress, and we've seen a taste of Viper with the rebels. Both haven't really showed theur full potential, which I hope they both fight to the max in this fight. I'm betting on Millena winning, just because that will allow Viper to go check out Heilig with Diavol, and make Luther a bit more nervous of Losing the stone.

I am still betting Gustave will make an appearance in the Dimentian Everglades. I'm curious to see what advantages Viper gains in this arena. Also I can just picture it being a dirty, brutal battle!

That's all for now, lets keep this disscussion going!

- 2nd in Command

Hey guys. Havent seen me in a while huh. New obsession with my new XBOX 360. Cant turn myself away. Unfortunately Prey and the Saints Row demo can only go so far.

As far as the episode goes. Really great.
Personal opinion: Luther should send Serpen Kia instead. Leaving Bianca to go absolutely crazy= great humor and drama.

Ill get back to your poll later B_C i got a lot 2 do today.


E.M -nothing in command.

Well Leo, this next episode should turn out to be great. Viper Vs. Millena was totally unexpected. I think that Millena will defeat Viper only on the fact that it will help Luther realize he isn't invinsible, and his plans won't always work. Plus, upon Millena winning, Heilig, along with the Earth fighters will have a false sense of security and confidence after beating a Dimentian. As for Pyrros and his plans, that should be very intriguing. Pyrros will have to face the wrath of the Watchers if his plan even works. A very big IF. So many things can go wrong. And the way Luther responds to the prisoner? Marveoleous. Luther is a cold bastard. I wonder what Maverick has been up to as of late? This should prove to be very intresting. In response to B-C's question, I answered who will win in my opinon. As for the everglades, I expect it to swampy at some points, providing an obstacle. Also, I picture as somewhat of a forest, so roots on the ground can prove to be an annoyiance for the fighters, and possibly an advantage. Either way, I can't wait to read the next epi. Good luck Leo.

In response to Baraka's_Homo. Sometimes, short and sweet beats long and drawn out.

StreetKing- Creator of Drake

Nice to hear from you again, Ermac.

The 360 is certainly a time 'waster,' it has so many entertaining games, with plenty more to come.

At any rate, I'm looking forward to your answer to B_C's little quiz event!

@StreetKing - Interesting theory behind Mileena's possible victory...I like it, though I still think Viper will win (and I seem to be the only one so far).


Also....what the hell...everyone else is a commander/creator over something in this thread it seems, so:

Soul_Stealer - Creator of Elandra and Davila

Well as for Mileena vs. Viper i think this match is very good. I think it was the perfect idea considering both of the character's motives at this point in the story.
As for the winner personally i like Viper to win. But given her Raw attitude I think Mileena will pull off the victory. (Sucks for Luther)
The Dimentian everglades. In this setting I see a lot of Marsh. I also expect some sort of reptillians that Viper can somehow use to his advantage. But maybe some poor visibility for Viper that Mileena can use to her own advantage.
I really want a well drawn out fight. I hate fights that are done in a few minutes. Thats pointless. It shouldnt be ridiculous but it should be in the middle in length. I also like Cinderella stories. Except for the story of Cinderella herself but thats a whole new topic. I think it should start out going in Vipers favor. However his arrogance will be his downfall. I also like stories about animals who are backed into a corner and have minimal means of escape. That is something that someone with Leo's talent can pull off in a way i would never dream possible.
As for Random stuff to say uh....Sorry ive been gone for a while. And like S_S said it is good for wasting time. Prey and Saints Row really keep me glued. And also; i fell like i ask this a lot, but how is the video game Adaptation of Deadly Dominion coming. I'm going to a videogame college called Full Sail in Winter Park but, thats not for another 3+ years so i figured something might have been started.

Hit it home leo.


Sincerely, your favorite acronym

EM