Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
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Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/30/2003 06:47 PM EST
You can find the COMPLETE scene here. The following is just a snippet:

Scorpion and Melissa kiss good-bye. Scorpion parts with a knapsack. The image disappears in the flames. The voices of his demons return.
The voices: You could've kept this, if you didn't go to China.
Melissa: Nooo! Hanzoooo!
The image of Melissa getting shot by the green orb circles the flames. The images comes and go inside the flames.
The voices: You could've been there.
Scorpion: No, I told you, I couldn't.
Voices: You told us what even you didn't believe.
Scorpion: Go away! Leave me.
Voices: We will never leave you in peace.
Melissa: You promised me eternal happiness... you gave me death!
An image of Rayden comes out of the flames.
Rayden: How can you win in this war, when you couldn't even save your wife who you swore to protect?
The image of Rayden disappears into the flames. Suddenly, Melissa is lifted off the ground by some unknown source.
Melissa: Hanzo where are you? Hanzo?! Please... Help me!
She is engulfed in a hazy red aura.
Scorpion: No!!!!!!
Scorpion then turns around. He sees a massive figure, clad in black armor; it's evil looking. It has a mace in its hand. Fire is swirling behind the figure. Scorpion retreats on his hands and knees. The images keeps coming closer. Flames sprout up in back of Scorpion, cutting off his escape. The figure then lifts up its mace, and swings down unto Scorpion.
Scorpion wakes up screaming. There is a presence inside the room. It's Rain.
Rain: There's a portal opening in front of the fortress, come quick.
Scorpion gets out of bed, very slowly and looking depressed. Rain is about to leave, but notices Scorpion's saddened appearance.
Rain: What's wrong?
Scorpion remains silent.
Rain: You've had those nightmares again?
Scorpion: Every night. I don't understand why.
Rain: Maybe it's a good thing.
Scorpion: How can that be a good thing? Seeing your wife and child die in front of you every night, that's good?
Rain: I didn't mean that. Rayden told me that Liu had dreams of his guilt as well. Perhaps this means, like Liu, you are in fact 'the chosen one'.
Scorpion: Well, if that's the case, I'm not sure I want to be the chosen one.
Scorpion puts his uniform on quickly, and hurries out the room with Rain. The run down to the front gate of the fortress; all of the other ninjas and Kitana are there clad in uniform. Rayden is standing in front of the opening portal. Suddenly, a girl in pink/purple garment flies backward out of the portal. Rayden catches her.



To read the FULL COMPLETE SCENE, click here. Post some feedback!
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 02:36 PM EST
*puts head in hands and cries*

Please stop.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 03:14 PM EST
did u even bother reading it b4 u said that?
if so, how about you post some real comments instead of sounding like a geek (and i know, that's hard for you to do).
Shinnokxz Wrote:
*puts head in hands and cries*

Please stop.

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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 03:15 PM EST
Yes, I did read it.

Please stop.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 03:30 PM EST
How bout then u post some real feedback besides 'please stop'; i know that you're probably a greek and like to piss ppl off by saying herbish things like 'please stop', but for once try not to be such a herb and give real feedback, otherwise your posts are useless.

why bother posting to begin with if you're only gonna say 'please stop' ?
Shinnokxz Wrote:
Yes, I did read it.

Please stop.

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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 03:57 PM EST
How DARE you bitch about other people commenting on your screen play?

Everybody listen to this: MKR sends me a PM asking me for my honest opinion on his latest ALL NEW scene. I give him feedback. Very, VERY negative feedback, but also very explicit. He PMs me back flaming me and saying my coments dont make any sense.

It's obvious that you can't take any type of negative criticism, constructive or not. So it doesn't really make any diference wether people just come out and say that the script sucks, or explain why the script sucks. You'll act like an imature spoiled brat either way.
Shit, Shinnokxz should get some dragon points just because he bothered to post here.

Grow up, learn how to take criticism- specially when you ask for it.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 04:27 PM EST
You're wrong Zentile;l welcome negative criticism. Obviously Shinnok's criticism was negative, but i didn't mind that; He didn't back up WHY he didn't like it, and neither did u, until I IMed u on AOL. u gave me negative feedback, and I accepted it and I just made the scene better, which I respect a lot.

If ppl don't like it, I'm willing to accept that. But AT LEAST BACK IT UP!!!
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 04:31 PM EST
Actually I was explicit with my reply. It was long. Not as explicit as the AOL Messages, but still explicit. I am busy. I am tired. You could've told me you wanted something more specific instead of calling me a pussy and saying I dont make any sense.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 11:04 PM EST
Zentile Wrote:
Actually I was explicit with my reply.
It was long. Not as explicit as the AOL Messages, but still explicit.

Not really... You stated what you didn't like yes, but you failed to back up those reasons as well as to at least TRY to give suggestions to make it better

I am busy. I am tired.

and what, I ain't?

You could've told me you wanted something more specific instead of calling me a pussy and saying I dont make any sense
I already told you numerous times perviously that I don't mind negative feedback; just at least try to give suggestion on how to make it better. As for me calling you a pussy, well that was a response to what you stated, which i'm gonna post, because unlike you, i'll try to have enough respect for you and keep what you said private, instead of exploiting it like what you did to me.

Finally, I have no problem with negative feedback; Why do you think this project is taking so long? I'm trying to please all the MK fans untill the next film comes out, and that ain't easy. I revise the script every day based on the negative feedback, such as yours, to make MK: AND as good as possible. Please don't criticize me of not being accepting negative feedback, as this is the one thing I can do w/o any problem. In fact, this can be proven right now; I have updated that scene based on your feedback, so this is definite proof that I take negative feedback to heart, and only improve it with such feedback.

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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/17/2003 11:35 PM EST
It's not written very well... it's like a standard conversation between friends. It's kinda like when you go see a movie and then you tell someone about what happend you explain the story without a lot of detail. It's not presented very well in that respect. I do really enjoy the art you have included in your story, that does help bring the story to life. Don't let the negative critism get to you. It needs a lot of work but I think it could be good.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 12:21 AM EST
thanks for the comments; i'm constantly improving the screenplay till it's perfection. Hopefully that'll be by the end of the month.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 04:28 AM EST
Well, I did read it all, and I have to say. It's pure CHEESE.

I found it embarassing to read.
All of the lines seem like the characters are just rambling on, they have no feeling, it makes them feel like they have no personality, speaking of which, they don't seem like the MK characters that we know and (mostly) love.

It definately needs some changes, some large changes, possibly even to be completely re-written. I really couldn't stop cringing all the way through that, sorry sad.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 06:46 AM EST
well, i'm disappointed you feel that way; How do you suppose I can improve it? Can you be more specific on which dialogue you founded cheesy?

TimsMK Wrote:
Well, I did read it all, and I have to say. It's pure CHEESE.

I found it embarassing to read.
All of the lines seem like the characters are just rambling on, they have no feeling, it makes them feel like they have no personality, speaking of which, they don't seem like the MK characters that we know and (mostly) love.

It definately needs some changes, some large changes, possibly even to be completely re-written. I really couldn't stop cringing all the way through that, sorry .

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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 02:26 PM EST

mkrevolution Wrote:
well, i'm disappointed you feel that way; How do you suppose I can improve it? Can you be more specific on which dialogue you founded cheesy?


Ok, fair anough.
Here's a few things:

"Scorpion: Every night. I don't understand why."

One of Scorpion's lines.
All I know is this. Scorpion is a badass, one of the many reasons he is liked by the fans.
I'm not too sure of the story of MK:AND, however, as Li Mei is mentioned and involved, I would imagine it's sometime around MKDA, and possibly during MK4. During the time of MK4-MKDA Scorpion learns of his family's death at Quan's hands, and so he is in pursuit of Quan Chi. While this sort of ties into this story here, as they are trying to bring Quan down, Scorpion is a lone, wild-card warrior. He doesn't ally with anybody, he's just on a quest to avenge his family's death so his soul can rest. If he ever does ally, we could assume it's for something in return, i.e. in MK4, where Quan offered him life to hunt down Subby. Other than that I couldn't see why he would ally with them. Though maybe I'm missing a large part of the MK:AND story, but in MKDA he went off on his own as well, so with that, I just couldn't see him allying with anybody (especially after how it went in MK4).
Next, his personality. He's being pretty friendly and almost like he wants to have a conversation. As I said, Scorp is a badass, some nightmares wouldn't bother him for one, particularly about his wife/family as he knows that their avengance is on its way.

"Rayden: Welcome to our headquarters."

Erm, well, this is one of those that I cringed at multiple times tongue.
HQ huh? Pretty fancy. But I just don't see it somehow, and I don't see Raiden saying it either. Raiden is a god of few words, he likes to let the mortals figure things out for themselves, which also makes me question how much he seems to help them in this.

"Li Mei: Yeah, I can."

Very casual. She has lost her people, friends etc. And she speakes about Shinnok's army casually?

"Rayden: We will supply you with a room, food, liquor, anything your greedy soul desires."

I have no doubt you knew this was coming, but it's just something that needs not to be said. And it's also very casual. Well, actually the whole thing is spoken a bit casually, like talking to your friends.

"Li Mei: Am I...? Who are you?
Rayden: I am Rayden, God of Thunder and protector of Earth Realm.
She bows her head.
Li Mei: Lord Rayden... I prayed for you for help-"

If Li Mei prayed for him, she must know who he is, and what he lookes like. But, chances are if she's lived on the Outworld all her life, that she wouldn't even know him in the first place. Here however, first she doesn't know him, and then she completely trusts him. Very quick to trust people, wouldn't imagine it after losing her people.

And of course, there is more, but I think you get it.
I must admit I don't know what the story of MK:AND actually is, though I'm guessing it's Raiden assembling fighters for a war against Shinnok's army. Heh, guessing, but after reading the scene, it just seems like it wouldn't fit well into any MK story, as mentioned, the characters all act very casual, almost like they have no personality to them. Scorpion is a wild-card, bent on revenge, Li Mei is probably not ready to trust anybody so easily.

I think you get the picture though. I hope that helps smile.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 03:50 PM EST
No, actually MKR, you can't accept negative feedback, you can accept negative feedback that sounds just like positive feedback. And I dont care if you're a busy person or not. I will defenetly not waste my precious time explaining to you what's so anal about the ND screenplay AGAIN. You haven't improved a rat's bottom from the original script I read.
And now I would apreciate it if you would kindly shut the hell up about this subject.
I've told you since the very beginning that the idea of the ninjas as the main characters is NOT a good idea, specially when someone like MKScorpion1 is writing the screenplay. Now, no offense to the writer, I'm sure he has many good qualities, but writing scripts is NOT one of them.
You have been ignoring my warnings since day #1, and you keep doing so. I was not the only one to not like the fact that the ninjas were made the main heroes of the story, mainly because they look badass, and therefore should act badass, by not only NOT talking, but by also not giving a shit about other people, shut the hell up and kick some ass - and therefore, NOT be the main heroes/main characters with a big wiff of cheese.
If in your next super extreme ALL BRAND NEW fat free MKAND screenplay preview the thing hasn't been 100% re-written, with a 100% new writer and a 100% new idea, dont bother sending me another PM asking me for my opinion- you already know it.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 03:58 PM EST
Well, i couldnt bring myself to read the whole thing. You made scorp look human. Hes a a badass spector and shouldnt act so human(even if he was one at some time). Plus, it looks to me like you teamed scorp w/ the good guys. Scorp works alone. I know mk movies of the past havent made it look like that, but if he doenst work on his own he at least should be with the bad guys.
'man how the fuck you get a scar from eatin pussy?'
'I was in a fight man.' 'And he gave that to you?'
'man you should see what i did to the other guy.'
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 07:44 PM EST
Zentile Wrote:
No, actually MKR, you can't accept negative feedback,

I just did.

you can accept negative feedback that sounds just like positive feedback.

wtf?!

And I dont care if you're a busy person or not.

woah, chill tough guy

I will defenetly not waste my precious time

please your whole life is based on MK

explaining to you what's so anal about the ND screenplay AGAIN.

Why not? It's not like u have anything better to do...

You haven't improved a rat's bottom from the original script I read.

You didn't read the original script

And now I would apreciate it if you would kindly shut the hell up about this subject.

I would, but since u asked so politely...

I've told you since the very beginning that the idea of the ninjas as the main characters is NOT a good idea, specially when someone like MKScorpion1 is writing the screenplay.

u don't even know him u moron

Now, no offense to the writer, I'm sure he has many good qualities, but writing scripts is NOT one of them.
You have been ignoring my warnings since day #1, and you keep doing so.

How by revising the script based on your negative feedback?!

I was not the only one to not like the fact that the ninjas were made the main heroes of the story,

that's right, be a dick and give away the plot

mainly because they look badass, and therefore should act badass, by not only NOT talking, but by also not giving a shit about other people, shut the hell up and kick some ass - and therefore, NOT be the main heroes/main characters with a big wiff of cheese.

u consider those valid points?

If in your next super extreme ALL BRAND NEW fat free MKAND screenplay preview the thing hasn't been 100% re-written, with a 100% new writer and a 100% new idea, dont bother sending me another PM asking me for my opinion- you already know it.

Of course, everything that's MK related u bitch about and u already dislike before you even read or see it... funny thing is you're gonna read it anyway, whether u want to admit it or not. well, u already did this at least three times now
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 07:49 PM EST
This definately helps; You see, I can accept negative feedback, regardless of what some else in this forum says (hint, hint Zentile).
TimsMK Wrote:
mkrevolution Wrote:
well, i'm disappointed you feel that way; How do you suppose I can improve it? Can you be more specific on which dialogue you founded cheesy?


Ok, fair anough.
Here's a few things:

"Scorpion: Every night. I don't understand why."

One of Scorpion's lines.
All I know is this. Scorpion is a badass, one of the many reasons he is liked by the fans.
I'm not too sure of the story of MK:AND, however, as Li Mei is mentioned and involved, I would imagine it's sometime around MKDA, and possibly during MK4. During the time of MK4-MKDA Scorpion learns of his family's death at Quan's hands, and so he is in pursuit of Quan Chi. While this sort of ties into this story here, as they are trying to bring Quan down, Scorpion is a lone, wild-card warrior. He doesn't ally with anybody, he's just on a quest to avenge his family's death so his soul can rest. If he ever does ally, we could assume it's for something in return, i.e. in MK4, where Quan offered him life to hunt down Subby. Other than that I couldn't see why he would ally with them. Though maybe I'm missing a large part of the MK:AND story, but in MKDA he went off on his own as well, so with that, I just couldn't see him allying with anybody (especially after how it went in MK4).
Next, his personality. He's being pretty friendly and almost like he wants to have a conversation. As I said, Scorp is a badass, some nightmares wouldn't bother him for one, particularly about his wife/family as he knows that their avengance is on its way.

"Rayden: Welcome to our headquarters."

Erm, well, this is one of those that I cringed at multiple times .
HQ huh? Pretty fancy. But I just don't see it somehow, and I don't see Raiden saying it either. Raiden is a god of few words, he likes to let the mortals figure things out for themselves, which also makes me question how much he seems to help them in this.

"Li Mei: Yeah, I can."

Very casual. She has lost her people, friends etc. And she speakes about Shinnok's army casually?

"Rayden: We will supply you with a room, food, liquor, anything your greedy soul desires."

I have no doubt you knew this was coming, but it's just something that needs not to be said. And it's also very casual. Well, actually the whole thing is spoken a bit casually, like talking to your friends.

"Li Mei: Am I...? Who are you?
Rayden: I am Rayden, God of Thunder and protector of Earth Realm.
She bows her head.
Li Mei: Lord Rayden... I prayed for you for help-"

If Li Mei prayed for him, she must know who he is, and what he lookes like. But, chances are if she's lived on the Outworld all her life, that she wouldn't even know him in the first place. Here however, first she doesn't know him, and then she completely trusts him. Very quick to trust people, wouldn't imagine it after losing her people.

And of course, there is more, but I think you get it.
I must admit I don't know what the story of MK:AND actually is, though I'm guessing it's Raiden assembling fighters for a war against Shinnok's army. Heh, guessing, but after reading the scene, it just seems like it wouldn't fit well into any MK story, as mentioned, the characters all act very casual, almost like they have no personality to them. Scorpion is a wild-card, bent on revenge, Li Mei is probably not ready to trust anybody so easily.

I think you get the picture though. I hope that helps .

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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 09:17 PM EST
Contrary to what the others say, MKR, I actually liked it. The only thing I had a problem with was his wife's name. Melissa? Nah. Give his wife a Japanese game. Shenmue provides a lot of those.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 09:30 PM EST
A few questions:

What the FUCK is a 'herb'? Why is being 'greek' bad?

And yes, you're NOW accepting positive feedback (we all know you're not going to use it) because Zentile pointed out what an asshole you are.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 09:34 PM EST
Oh yeah, I DID post my comments (and backed them up) last time you posted one of these blasphemous pieces of writing.

Here's a few things: write it like you're NOT having a conversation with your friend over MSN. Make it so it doesn't hurt the readers eyes. Use the fucking enter key (it's above the shift key). Don't turn Mortal Kombat characters into something they are not (Are Scorpion and Rain GAY? WHY do they live with each other?)
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 09:36 PM EST
Baha... making Scorpion the chosen one.

It's like labeling chocolate a vegetable.
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 11:51 PM EST
Shinnokxz Wrote:
A few questions:

What the FUCK is a 'herb'?
it's what you are... and zentile is a perfect definition for a herb..

Why is being 'greek' bad?
I am Greek. When did I say that's bad? wtf?

And yes, you're NOW accepting positive feedback (we all know you're not going to use it)
why wouldn't i accept positive feedback u dumbass?

because Zentile pointed out what an asshole you are.
Nah, Zentile points out he's the asshole everytime he says something. Of course you're taking his side, b/c like I said, you're both perfect examples of herbs; and herbs tend to stick together. me an asshole? based on you're posts, u should be the LAST person that should use that word
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/18/2003 11:58 PM EST
Shinnokxz Wrote:
Oh yeah, I DID post my comments (and backed them up) last time you posted one of these blasphemous pieces of writing.

umm... when was this?

Here's a few things: write it like you're NOT having a conversation with your friend over MSN.
Make it so it doesn't hurt the readers eyes.

I didn't know words can hurt someone's eyez... maybe u need glasses?

Use the fucking enter key (it's above the shift key).

Oh it is? for real? thanx for pointing that our retard. and why should I use the 'enter' key?

Don't turn Mortal Kombat characters into something they are not

why? the first two films did that, why can't I?

(Are Scorpion and Rain GAY? WHY do they live with each other?)

wtf? the 1st version had Rain coming in Scorpion's rom, they do NOT live with each other. how bout u try reading next time b4 u open your mouth?
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RE: Preview an ALL NEW scene from MK: A New Dawn!
11/19/2003 12:03 AM EST
blaze_rocks Wrote:
Well, i couldnt bring myself to read the whole thing. You made scorp look human. Hes a a badass spector and shouldnt act so human(even if he was one at some time).

there's a very good reason for that; since the previous scenes aren't posted, then u wouldn't know why, but I can tell u this will be explained in the first couple of scenes

Plus, it looks to me like you teamed scorp w/ the good guys. Scorp works alone.

I know mk movies of the past havent made it look like that, but if he doenst work on his own he at least should be with the bad guys.

that's explained too. when the final version is available, you'll see why; and yes, what you said is certainly true
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