Granted, but you break your leg, so now you can't go skiing.

I wish Morticia Addams was my mom. Angelica Houston's version, to be exact.

Granted! But since your mother changes- as does your father- and you Inherit Lou Gherig's disease from him out of the 5% chance you had. Good luck with that.

I wish I was 16 years old as of 3-13-2013. And so was the girl I like.

Granted you're both the same age. But the girl you like falls for a guy twice her age.

I wish Pokemon would die.

Granted, but their dumbass plot-hole in the movie tears bring them back to life and they kill you.


I wish that i could remember the password to the administrator account on my laptop.

Granted, but then you feel intense shame and stupidity when you remember why you picked it as your password

I wish college was cheaper to attend than it is now.

Granted- but now- mostreasonable jobs require 10 years of college due to this decrease, coming from salary cuts and poor class choice. as a result, only 2% of all college students graduate. You just wasted 6 years, bro.

I wish for a terrorist attack on the new pope. (I really don't, I just want to see how this corrrput wish gets corrupted.)

It is, we have financial aid.

That's what I'm using.

But let's say financial aid doesn't exist... Granted! College is so cheap to attend EVERYONE is going, and that includes all the crappers who only come to act up, just like in high school.


I wish Pokemon X & Y is a good game.

granted, its the best Pokemon game ever......only available in japan.

I wish zombie loved cookies like they love brains.

Granted, but the world's cookie supply runs out, and the first people to die are the people that make cookies

I wish I had the vocal range of Freddie Mercury when he was alive.

Granted, but he sends his hitmen to kill you. HE IS THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA!

I wish that you would all stfu

Granted! However, all of us being silent drives you to type messages to yourself until you lose your mind!
I wish Pastafarianism was the majority-followed religion.

Granted, unfortunately a Flying Spaghetti Monster molests every human on the planet with His Noodly Appendages.

I wish more people owned a Wii U

Granted, but your's breaks and your constant pestering of Nintendo leads them to ban you from ever purchasing another Nintendo Product. Your picture is placed on every Nintendo package with a large "Do Not Sell" sticker placed above it. Any store that violates this rule suffers never being allowed to sell another Nintendo device, any person that gives you any Nintendo product suffers a ban themselves, and all UPS/Fedex/mailmen are to stamp your packages return to sender if they come from Nintendo.

I wish it was 3 days ago

You are sent back three days, but future you and past you are occupying the same space at the same time, so you both blow up.

I wish I got paid twice as much for the same thing I'm doing now.

Granted, but your hours get cut in half.


I wish you all had a nice piece of carrot cake.

Granted! However, the cake's over 100 years old, giving us all internal organ problems and filling our bloodstream with a rare virus that makes us zombies, and we come after you for food/revenge.
I wish we had more information about Pokemon X & Y.

Granted. It's cancelled.


I wish Captain Cold was a playable character in INJUSTICE and was absolutely loathed in online gameplay for his unfair and trolling combat; like Noob.

Granted, the loathing eventually becomes too much for the online community to bear and online playing comes to a screeching hault, but it is later discovered that you are the source of Captain Cold's inclusion, and you are exiled to Jupiter for making the wish.


I wish the new season of Whose Line Is It Anyway? is a damn good one and is met with highly exceptional reviews (this means Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles all return).

Granted, unfortunately Drew Carey shows up as a guest during one episode really drunk and ruins the show.

I wish I was better at drawing things on the Wii U Gamepad...

Granted! You now draw only high detailed penisies.

I wish Kratos, Mario, and Master Chief had one day to hang out together in our world.

Granted, but the console fanboys get to them and convince them that they should fight for console supremacy. So they all kill each other in the battle.

I wish Heather would show up to the YMCA when I do. So I can get to talk to her.

Considering how freakin' hilarious that would be, I am okay with that.




Granted, but she is so consumed in her endeavors she is only able to speak with you for all of 30 seconds, and you never get the chance to actually tell her what you want her to know.

I wish essay would type itself. Well.

Granted, but you can't control how long you sleep.

I wish coming up with new wishes was as easy as corrupting them to me.

Granted, but this thread is closed.


I wish for Jerrod's diet to consist entirely of gummy worms.