Granted! OH SHI-*POW*
*stomach exploded*
I wish cats could speak English.

Granted, but they speak it very poorly, have a really weird accident, they tend to shout at each other in an incomprehensible mix of meows and words, they take jobs as tech support people who never understand your problem, and it is considered speciest to either want them to speak more clearly or to imitate their accent.

I wish J-Spit had a real pony.

Granted but its an apocalypse pony that kills him as a sacrifice, raising a army of apocalypse ponies. They drink rivers dry and go to war with humanity. WWP(World War Pony!) has begun!
I wish Hulk Thor Captain America and Iron Man Were Dlc guest for InJustice Gods Among Us.

Granted, but their gameplay is beyond horrible, especially Hulk.

I wish it wouldn't take so freakin' long for one of my pokemon to have a dream so I can get to Dream World.

Granted... but now you are stuck in Dream World!!!

I wish I was better looking

Granted- now everyone else in the world is better looking, thus leaving you where you are on the looks scale.


I wish I had an endless supply of canned ham.

GRANTED! However, because the demand is so high for an endless supply, they start cutting corners and give you tainted, unfit meat, that makes you deathly ill.
I wish I could skydive and have the entire event go well (I jump out of the plane with instructor, the chute comes out, and we land on the ground without injury).

Granted, but you land in the middle of a war zone and get crushed by a tank.

I wish I had a preorder of my own copy of Wind Waker HD and it was paid off completely.

Granted. But because you aren't able to explain how you paid it off people think you stole it. So you have to return it.

I wish I had the ability to know if someone was single or not just by looking at them.

Granted but it only works when you stare at someone for 5 minutes without looking away or blinking.
I wish Buggs bunny and Mickey Mouse fought in a Death Battle Hosted by Daffy and Donald duck.

Granted, unfortunately it winds up in a tie, and a crazed fan massacres people in Disneyland, and there are no more Death Battles ever.

I wish hipsters would just drown in the mainstream...

Granted! But by hipsters, it is implied by the person who makes these wishes actually happen that you mean people who have hips. Now only people with artificial hips suvive, and considering most of them are of older age, the human race dies out due to unexisting reproductive possibilities.

I wish that instead of bad things happening to ruin good things all the time, it was good things happening to cure bad things.

Granted, but the world becomes boring and overpopulated. So, bad things become good things, ushering in an age of Evil.


I wish you a Merry Christmas

I don't celebrate Christmas. Thank you, though! :)

Critical Error: Wish cannot be granted. Erasing Earth from existence to rectify error.
-------------
I wish an entity made of pure Improbability Energy would manifest in space, near Earth. Yay, Astronomy!

Granted, unfortunately it creates a black hole in our solar system, and we all die within a week

I wish Hideo Kojima would give an official statement regarding David Hayter in the Metal Gear Solid series.

Granted!

News involving Metal Gear states that all future games for the Metal Grar series; any game released in the future, will not be on 7th gen consoles or handhelds, but will be on the Jaguar, thus Metal Gear dies because nobody plays it anymore.

I wish...
That I could just do it! (Non-sexual meaning, that is.)

Granted, you have sex with that transgender individual with crabs and Hep C.

I wish Mick-Lucifer experienced April Fool's Day like the movie Groundhog's day.

Granted. He enjoys it. Every waking second.

I wish that (insert wish here).

Granted, but *insert corruption to wish here*

I wish more people would participate in this.

Granted, however, this thread now becomes so active, every single post is sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another oatmeal, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was pony'd by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post, that was sniped by another post......

Can you imagine the horror of never having your corruption-and-wish posted without having been beaten to the punch by somebody else, who was also beaten to the post by yet someone else?

-----------------------

I wish there was always room in Hell, so that the dead never have to walk on Earth.

Granted, but now there's too much room, so much room innocent souls have to be sent to hell to fill the void. These souls now haunt you because of the wish you made.

I wish the show My Little Pony was cancelled. And all the ponies were fuckin' dead. (Muhahahahaha)

>About my wish
Well.....shite.

>Your wish
Granted, however, the thousands of Bronies come to meet you and force you to suffer heavy torment, causing you to become mentally unbalanced and cursed with the knowledge of your corruption, for you wished all the Ponies would die. (The fact the show was cancelled doesn't matter at this point)

Ponies strive for friendship and harmony with the Universe, Humans are naturally inclined to war against those that are different. You manifest the corruption of humans by killing all the Ponies. Have fun in the afterlife.

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I wish the clouds were made of blueberry-flavored cotton candy.

Granted, but all the birds get diabeetus and it totally ruins the planet's ecosystem. Thanks....dick.





I wish Kung Lao never had hat hair.

Granted. Kung Lao is bald. And because of that, KungLaoDoesntSuck and I are going to kill you. I wish Kung Lao always had hat hair.

Granted. Kung Lao always has hat hair now. But he misses his old hair and since he can't cut his hair, he cuts his head off instead.

I wish I didn't overthink things when it comes to meeting women I'd like to date.